Pain Is Just Too Real (Ariadne)

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The light shining through the window was what ultimately woke Anna from her deep sleep. The light that had her head ringing, even with her eyes closed. Anna turned her face away from the light, moaning softly. Her throat hurt and her eyes ached. What in the world was going on with her right now? It felt like her body was sick or warring against her. She tensed, fisting her hands for a moment and then freezing. Something hard was in her right hand and with that realization came the memories.

She suddenly remembered going to Paris, feeling anxious and hopeful. She remembered searching for Oscar, tromping through snow for days, and she remembered finding his camp. Finding his wedding ring, which she still clutched in her right hand. What she didn't remember was coming back home. Honesty, Anna didn't remember anything after finding Oscar's wedding ring, before waking up wherever she was now. All the remembered was the daze, the fog of hurt and disbelief.

She whimpered softly, tears starting to leak out once more, even though her eyes were closed. Why was this happening to her? She couldn’t handle it; she didn’t want to. Anna heard the door open and opened her eyes after a moment of hesitation, expecting to see her sister, but it wasn’t Lucy who entered the room and Anna’s eyes widened in surprise. Why was James' girlfriend here?

@ariadne

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Ariadne had been one of the Healers on call when Lucy Weasley had burst into Saint Mungo’s, asking for a Healer to come with her. Recognizing the young woman as James’ cousin, Aria had immediately volunteered. A quick scan of Lucy showed no physical symptoms, so Aria instructed her to walk and talk. It was her twin, Molly - Anna as she was better known - not Lucy who was in need of medical attention. Aria got the very basic lowdown of the story; Lucy and Anna hadn’t heard from Anna’s husband Oscar, who had been in France on business, so they decided to set out and find him. While they did not accomplish that, they had found his wedding ring and journal discarded in the woods. Aria had been at their wedding just a few months ago; she had seen Oscar’s face as Anna had walked down the aisle towards him. There was no doubt or worry in that young mans’ face; only love and adoration for the woman who was to be his wife. Lucy seemed to be of the similar opinion that Oscar would not have willingly discarded his wedding ring, and it was upon this realization that Anna had simply...collapsed. She had been just sleeping, refusing food and water, rebuking the light, just wanting the darkness and the abyss sleep brought her. Aria could see why she needed a Healers’ touch.

Ariadne entered the darkened room, and saw a girl with tangled red hair stirring in the bed. She heard her whimper, and her heart broke for the poor girl. In a sense, she could relate to the anxiety she must have been feeling before going after Oscar; James had gone after his father shortly after the wedding, and she hadn’t heard from him for weeks before he had returned. It was a very unpleasant feeling, and Aria didn’t wish it on anyone. Especially not Anna, who was so sweet and kind to everyone she met. She had even made Aria feel at home, last name be damned. So now, she would be there for James’ cousin. “Anna? It’s Ariadne, I brought you some nourishment,” she said softly, her voice low to match the overall feeling draping over the room. She magicked in a tray of soup, some crackers, and a glass of water. “Can you try and eat something for me?” she asked sweetly, setting the tray down next to her bed and sitting on the edge. “You need to at least take some water in, otherwise I’ll have to put an IV in your arm,” she added, her voice soft but with a business like edge to it. Whenever their patients at Saint Mungo’s refused food and water, they’d get it in them through an IV tube, so they wouldn’t just waste away into nothing. Aria was willing to resort to that if necessary, but she was hoping Anna would at least take a sip of the soup to placate her.

@annelise

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Anna closed her eyes when she saw the older girl enter the room. She recognized Ariadne, liked the girl even, but she didn't want to talk to her right now. She didn't want to be told that she needed to get out of bed or try to think of something else. She didn't want to do anything. Anna pretended to be asleep, hoping that if Aria thought she was asleep she wouldn't try to get Anna to do anything. 

For the first few seconds Aria was silent and Anna felt herself start to sink back into the oblivion, letting herself wallow in the sadness that was overwhelming her ever since she found Oscar's ring. It was far easier for Anna to close her eyes and pretend nothing had happened, that real life didn't exist. The silence didn't last, however. After just a short while, she spoke, pulling Anna back to the room and the truth. She said that she brought Anna some nourishment and Anna shook her head, turning away from the woman as she sat on the edge of her bed. She asked Anna to try and eat and Anna shook her head, "I can't," she whispered so softly her voice was hardly audible. "I'm not hungry ... and it won't stay down." Her stomach felt queasy. It had since she found the ring. Anna knew that anything she tried to eat would come right back up. Besides that, nothing appealed to her at all right now. 

She shuddered when Ariadne added that if she couldn't at least drink some water she would need an IV. "Maybe I can try just a little?" Anna didn't want to, but she also didn't want an IV. She just wanted to do whatever she needed to so she could be alone again. She didn't want to think or do anything anymore. 

@ariadne

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Ariadne smiled, quite triumphant as Anna first said she couldn’t eat, but then decided to try at the very least. She would have a sick bag ready, and always could use the vanishing spell if it came up too fast for her to reach. Aria prided herself on her quick reaction time though, so she hoped it wouldn’t come to that. “I know, it doesn’t seem like food or water should be a priority to you now, but that’s just your brain telling you that,” she said softly, gently smoothing down Anna’s long, damp red hair. James had taken to doing that whenever Aria had woken up from a nightmare, forgetting she was in a safe space and thinking she was back in the Lestrange manor again, being victim to her parents’ cruel torture. “Just try the soup, it’s a liquid and it’ll feel good going down your dry throat,” she added softly, gently cradling the bowl in both hands. She didn’t move the spoon however to feed Anna; the girl was a Triwizard Champion, the winner of the entire Tournament. She wouldn’t want to be spoon fed by a girl she barely knew, it just wasn’t proper.

“You don’t have to talk about it to me, I know we don’t know each other very well,” Aria continued, watching carefully as Anna attempted the first spoonful, trying to spot any warning signs that the soup was about to come straight back up. So far so good, she thought to herself. “I know all you want to do is sleep, but you need to try and stay awake, just for five more minutes. Enough to get some food in your stomach so you don’t wake up with pangs,” she added gently. She knew Anna wasn’t up to much company, especially right now, but she needed to eat if she was going to survive this. She knew Anna was probably thinking she didn’t WANT to survive without Oscar, but it still wasn’t one hundred percent confirmed her husband was dead. The logical part of Aria’s brain screamed that they needed to be fully certain before giving up completely.

@annelise

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Ariadne spoke again, telling Anna that she still needed to eat, even though she didn't feel like it. Anna nodded, though she didn't quite agree. In all honesty, she hadn't necessarily been trying to not eat, she just wasn't hungry. Anna didn't know how long it'd been since the last time she ate. That was a strange thought. She sat up a little as Aria told her to try the soup, holding the bowl for Anna. She glanced at the bowl and moved to take hold of the spoon, taking a small sip. It did feel nice, just like Ariadne said it would. Anna gave a weak smile before slowly taking a bit more. 

She glanced over at the other woman when she mentioned that Anna didn't have to talk about it. That was good. Anna didn't want to talk about it to anyone right now. Talking about losing Oscar made it feel more real, even though the ring she was still holding in her free hand made it feel real enough. Anna nodded again when Ariadne told her she could sleep after she ate, saying that if she didn't she'd get pangs. No she wouldn't. Or maybe she would and she just wouldn't realize it. After the first day, it got easy to ignore her stomach, her heart hurt so bad. "Thank you," she muttered before taking another spoonful. She glanced up at Aria and forced another smile, but Anna didn't know what to say. She didn't know how much she wanted to talk, if she even wanted to talk at all. 

@ariadne

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Ariadne breathed a sigh of relief as Anna took the food.  She had kept it simple with the soup, a remedy the Lestrange cook had made for them when they were small children.  It was rather ironic she supposed that she had fonder memories with the family cook than her own parents, but they had always been the hands off kind.  That was, until they found out about James.  A cloud crossed over Aria's eyes as she watched Anna take in the soup.  They were dead, buried and in the ground, she reminded herself.  They couldn't get to her now.  "Our family cook used to make this for Andy and I when we were children.  She always said a bowl of soup was the best way to start anew," she told her, then laughed softly.  "Don't worry, she wasn't like...my parents.  She was a good one, truly a wonderful human being," she promised.  She didn't know what happened to their cook - she had been dismissed about a year before her parents died.  She liked to believe she was somewhere better than the Lestrange manor, but knowing her parents track record...somewhere better was probably in the Beyond.

"I know it seems bleak right now Anna," Aria said tentatively, knowing Anna probably didn't want to talk about it.  But, Aria had been through something similar with James a few months ago, and he had come back to her.  If anyone knew about holding a vigil for the love of their life, if was her.  "James when he was...gone, it was one of the hardest crosses I had to bear in my life.  When the letters stopped coming, I too feared the worse."  She took a shaky breath.  "But he came back, as will Oscar."  Aria hoped she sounded confident; she didn't know every aspect of the situation surrounding Oscar's disappearance, but she had to remain positive, for Anna's sake.

@annelise

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Anna stopped eating, looking up at Aria when the girl started talking about her family cook. Anna's eyes were wide, still red-rimmed as she watched the other girl, but she felt herself relaxing slightly as the food entered her stomach. Anna played with Oscar's ring in her hand, slowly twisting it so it went onto her thumb. She reached forward, picking up the bowl and holding it in her hands so it could warm up her chilled hands as she listened to the older woman talk. She smiled when Aria told her not to worry. Anna hadn't been worried. She trusted Ariadne Lestrange. They'd spoken before and while they weren't super close, Anna liked her. "Sounds like it," she agreed, her voice coming out in a croak now that she wasn't whispering.  

Her eyes turned to look at the soup when Aria continued. Her lips started quivering and her eyes watered, but she tried to blink the moisture away. She knew it was ridiculous, especially considering the condition Ariadne found her in, but she didn't want to appear weak. Then she heard Aria talking about when James left and the letters stopped coming. She looked up again, watching the woman beside her, then shook her head at her last comment. "Oscar is gone," Anna whispered. She placed the soup back on the tray, pulling his ring off her thumb slowly. "I found his wedding ring. He- he wouldn't have left it behind, no matter where he was-" her throat closed up and Anna couldn't speak anymore. She was crying again, silent sobs though the tears flowed fluidly down her cheeks. The moment she saw his ring in the snow was the moment Anna realized that she'd lost Oscar. 

@ariadne

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Aria felt her heart pang as Anna’s eyes filled with tears. “Oh Anna, I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to make you cry,” she said, thoughts rushing through her head as to how to make her feel better. She quickly came to the realization that there was no easy fix to this. Anna had lost her great love - Ariadne could hope it was not forever but she could understand that this girl felt completely hopeless in the situation. “He will find his way back to you, one way or another, he will.” Ariadne was not about to mention the worst case scenario - his body - as that would certainly not help the situation.

Ariadne returned to patting Anna’s back as she cried, racking her brain with other topics to try and get her mind off things. She had won the Triwizard Tournament last year, which had been brilliant, however the other two champions had died in the attacks on the transports after they’d left, so that would be another topic to avoid. Then there was work, but she doubted Anna had been to Auror training lately, and James’ father was still missing, so another no go. “Come on,” she said suddenly, standing up and grabbing a heavy robe from the wardrobe. “We’re going to go for a quick turn around the yard. You don’t have to see or speak to anyone, but some fresh air will do you some good,” she said briskly, a nurse to her patient. It wouldn’t change anything, but Anna needed to get out of the dark bedroom for at least two minutes. “I won’t take no for an answer,” she added sternly.

@annelise

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Anna still couldn't speak as she cried. She shook her head, trying to gesture to Ariadne that it was fine. She didn't want to make her feel bad when Aria was really only trying to help her, but thinking of Oscar was too hard right now. Anna missed him and the idea of never seeing him again hurt. She sniffled, trying to control the tears. She still shook her head but not saying anything back as Aria said that she was sure Oscar would find his way back to her. He was gone. Anna couldn't imagine another reason he'd be staying away from her. He wouldn't do that to her. 

She finally seemed to get her tears under control when Aria was suddenly standing up. Anna looked up at the woman with wide eyes. What ... she wanted Anna to go outside? Anna shook her head, not wanting to leave her room, but Ariadne was already continuing, her tone brooking no argument. One look at her showed that she wasn't going to change her mind and Anna took a deep breath before standing up slowly. She didn't want to go anywhere or let anyone see her like this, but apparently that didn't matter. Her coat was on the back of a chair on the other side of the room, though Anna didn't know how it got there. She walked over and put it on, feeling incredibly vulnerable. She hunched her shoulders and looked at the ground, stepping into a pair of slip-on shoes. "Okay, I'm ready." Anna was still in her night-clothes, but she honestly couldn't care less. No one would recognize her, even if they knew her. She'd never gone out looking like this before. She still couldn't meet Aria's eyes.

@ariadne

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Ariadne watched patiently as Anna slowly rose from her bed and put on her coat and slippers. Good, that was progress. She nodded encouragingly as she shuffled towards her, still not quite meeting her eyes. “Alright,” she said softly, putting an arm around the girls’ shoulders as they walked slowly out of the dark bedroom. She knew Anna would need a minute to adjust to the light pouring in from the flat windows, so she made sure to move at a snails’ pace to keep her balance. Finally, they reached the door to the back garden and Ariadne paused. “Just five minutes Anna, then we can go right back inside to bed,” she promised.

Ariadne opened the door and allowed Anna out first. A morning frost was still lingering on the grass that made it look like a winter garden. A faint smile creased onto Ariadne’s lips as she bent down to gently touch the frosted blades. “It’s strange, the frost tries to bend the grass towards the earth but as soon as you touch it,” she stood back up, gesturing to the now wet grass. “It simply turns to water. It’s as if it knows that it can withstand the ice and cold, as the promise of warmer days is around the corner.” Ariadne turned to face Anna. “It may seem bleak and cold now Anna, but you mustn’t ever give up hope. You have to believe, you have to have faith that he is out there,” she said softly, reaching out and gently tucking Anna’s arm in hers. She closed her eyes and took a deep inhale, letting it out slowly. “All we have to do is remember to breathe.”


@annelise

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Anna didn't say anything as she and Aridne headed outside. What could she say? The woman was trying to help her, somehow. Apparently going outside would be good for her, though Anna didn't understand that. She still just wanted to be curled up in bed. She didn't want to see anyone or be reminded of what she'd lost. She nodded as Aria said that they just needed to be outside for five minutes. Fine. She could walk around for five minutes. It didn't mean she'd say anything though. Anna wasn't in a particularly chatty mood.

She walked outside, not seeing any of the beauty of the morning before her. Anna wasn't looking for it. She heard as Ariadne started talking about frost and grass and water and found herself getting annoyed. Why was she out here? Why was she being lectured on frost? It had nothing to do with anything and she really just couldn't be bothered to care about it. Then Ariadne made her point, telling Anna that even though it was hard, she shouldn't give up hope, that she needed to remember Oscar was out there. The thing was ... she couldn't. She couldn't hope anymore. She'd done that. She did that for weeks before setting off to find her. If she found some way to hope again, she wasn't sure she could make it when he really was gone. 

Anna opened her mouth to speak, to express some of her thoughts, but her throat was tight and she couldn't force the words out. She moved a little closer when Aria took her arm, feeling the comforting warmth. She nodded when the woman said they had to remember to breathe. "I can do that," her voice hardly louder than a whisper. Anna was grieving. She knew she'd probably feel somewhat better eventually, and she knew that Oscar wouldn't want her to mistreat herself. That was why she followed Ariadne's instructions. It didn't mean she had to believe that the other girl was right though. Anna couldn't afford to do that. 

@ariadne

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Ariadne smiled serenely as Anna agreed that she would at least breathe. It wasn’t a hard thing to ask of her, as breathing was one of the most important things to remember to do in life. It kept the living separated from the dead, and Anna was still among the living. Still, in the darkest of times, one sometimes had to be reminded to do the most basic of things.

She led Anna back inside and sat her down in a chair. With a wave of her wand, the old sheets crumpled on Anna’s bed were removed from the mattress, and another flick had the new, freshly laundered set made neatly. Next she fluffed the pillows and quilt before letting them settling on the bed. “Nothing like folding yourself into a newly made bed, the fresh scent of cotton and lemon to soothe you,” she said softly, taking Anna by the hand and leading her back over to the bed. She brought out a potion and handed it to the young woman. “Take this, and you will enter into a dreamless sleep. Rest, now, truly rest. You have earned a time for oblivion,” she told her. She reached out and tucked a strand of Anna’s red hair behind her ear before bidding the girl farewell. She had done what she came to do, and hoped she’d left her better for it.

end Ariadne, @annelise feel free to wrap up

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Anna let Ariadne lead her inside to a chair. She would have preferred to go straight to the bed, but in just a few moments it was obvious why Ariadne didn't lead her there. She was changing the sheets and fluffing everything. That was very nice of her, and it made Anna feel tired again. She just wanted to fall asleep, to forget about the reality she was now living in. She nodded at Ariadne's words and letting the woman help her back to her bed. She held the potion bottle as Ariadne explained what it was. "Thank you," Anna whispered before quickly taking the potion. She was so tired. She just wanted to let everything go and sleep. She put the bottle down and laid on the bed, feeling Ariadne touch her hair. Anna was asleep before she even left the room. 

--- the end ---

@ariadne