Post by Deleted on Dec 29, 2020 6:24:17 GMT -7
CW: Death, grief, depression, suicidal thoughts.... the usual? Possible PTSD references
Early January, 2026
It had been a while since he'd gotten Renfri's gift at Christmas. A puzzle-box. It had been a fun enough challenge and he'd certainly enjoyed trying to open it. It had taken him quite a while and he'd been fiddling with it a lot in his free time. It kept his mind of things and had actually been very enjoyable while it lasted. He just didn't really expect or anticipate the knife to his chest at the end of the puzzle. He'd opened it that day, unaware of what that would mean. At first he'd thrill of having accomplished the feat of solving the very intricate puzzle-box. Then came the curiosity as he realised there was something inside it. He'd read the note first, a feeling of absolute dread in the anticipation as he went to open the small wrapped gift. After that it felt like his entire world had come crashing down around him for a second time. He sat on the couch in Teddy's house, looking at the bracelet he now held in his hand, the puzzle-box all but forgotten on the seat next to him.
The thin and fragile bracelet lay in his hands, the metal had been cold against his skin at first but by now it had warmed to his touch. His eyes were glued to the small delicate letters engraved in the metal although it felt like somebody was carving them straight into his heart every single time he read them, and he kept reading them over and over. Floyd William Fortescue. The only thing that made it hurt more and made the words even harder to read was the fact it had clearly been intended for Hannah. The note said it, the bracelet showed it. He wasn't supposed to have this, but he was the only person left in his small little family. There was nobody else left to wear it. It wasn't until he saw the bracelet and read the words Renfri had written for him that he realised that he'd stopped grieving for Floyd after he'd lost Hannah. Now he felt the crippling pain of the grief for two people at the same time.
He wasn't sure how long he'd sat there, motionless and consumed by pain and grief, before he finally was consumed. He gripped the bracelet so tightly his knuckles turned white and the nails started digging deeply into his palms. He felt his entire body shake as he cried, drawing ragged breaths that felt they didn't actually help him breathe at all. He felt as if he was back in the hospital again, all those years ago when the pain and grief had overwhelmed him as the realisation sunk in that he had lost his son and his fiancee. He squeezed harder as ragged sobs escaped and he collapsed, clinging to the bracelet as if it was a lifeline. He felt his palm get wet, and realised he'd dug his nails in too deep. Yet he felt nothing over the numbing pain of the losses he had not yet come to terms with.
It must have been hours before all the energy had left his body and the pain had turned numb as the physical pain of overexertion combined with the mental and emotional pain had drained him so completely that it felt like there was nothing left of him. He unclenched his hand with a lot of effort and looked at the bracelet, the words now shining red with the blood that had seeped into the engraving. He was too exhausted to cry. With all he had left he wrapped the bracelet around his wrist, closing it. He'd carry them both with him, no matter how much it hurt. It was better to hurt than to forget. He took one last breath before he crawled back on the sofa, falling into a deep restless sleep. He didn't notice his room-mate come in that and was dead to the world. When morning came he woke with little more energy than the morning before, broken. Never had he had a gift given with kindness be so incredibly cruel to him.
((@renfri because look what you did to him!!!!))
