Look At Me Now [Diana]

[diana eoina bainbridge]

I'M ONLY HUMAN

AND I CRASH AND I BREAK DOWN

March 11, 2026
cordelia regan smith

Somehow, this would end up as one of Diana’s more stranger encounters these days. And this was all despite her work dealing with the illegal and the shady. At least seedy characters were easy to get used to. There was nothing duplicitous about them, despite how they tried to hide it. The innocent scared Diana far more because they were less predictable. Not to mention it felt impossible that such a small well would hold a Kelpie. But Diana kept her opinions to herself. Merlin knew what the girl would ask Daina to do then.

Cordelia even attempted to push the carrot under the water. Did Kelpie’s even like carrots? Unfortunately, Care of Magical Creatures was neither a strong class for Diana nor among her favorite subjects. She usually hid in the back, reading whatever dust-lined ancient book she’d found in the library. Diana’s eyes snapped to the girl when she spoke again, pulling Diana out of her daydream. She often daydreamed and floated back to those simpler years. ”Yes, this way is fastest.” Uncrossing her arms, Diana began to walk off to her right. There was a narrow alley with little lighting, but it was better than taking the long way around the other shop buildings. After a beat, Diana could help but ask. ”So…what happens if you don’t get a picture?”

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[cordelia regan smith]

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As Diana turned to apparently lead her on the way out of Knockturn, Cordelia stopped and glanced back at the well. What sounded like a small splash had come from it. She’d had enough of the alley and the well though. If there was a kelpie in there, a magizoologist could come and fish it out. The whole idea of her, a meek photographer, going here to locate it was silly to begin with. She had zero experience dealing with the creature and she would absolutely run off after a picture or two if it did happen to appear. No kelpie was dragging her down that well, that was for sure. Despite a second splash, Cordelia kept walking, picking up her pace to come up right next to Diana.

”N-Nothing, really,” she responded to the question about failing to snap a photograph. ”Th-This happens a lot.” And she was still paid and treated as if she was part of the Quibbler team regardless. A picture of the well would do enough for the article anyways. Whoever ended up writing the piece would add some fluff about the kelpie being ‘invisible’ or ‘shy’. Or just outright lie and say it can’t be captured on film. While Cordelia didn’t agree with how the magazine did things, it did pay her well. Selling her soul was easier than trying to be completely freelance. That didn’t work well in the magical world.

”Wh-Why were y-you here?” Cordelia asked bravely, though she knew she probably really didn’t want to know the answer. The Bainbridge family always seemed like they were normal and nice. At least that had been the experience she’d had with the triplets. Diana didn’t seem like a bad person either, so it was kind of strange that she was just wandering around Knockturn Alley, and willing to help out. ”Y-You d-don’t have to answer…I-I-I know it’s n-none of m-my business…it’s j-just that it’s dang-dangerous…”

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[diana eoina bainbridge]

I'M ONLY HUMAN

AND I CRASH AND I BREAK DOWN

March 11, 2026
cordelia regan smith

This was by far the strangest interaction Diana had participated in in quite a while. And that was against her usual conversations and dealings in the dark alleys of Knocturn or at one of the Purifier bases in England. It was hardly comforting to know that the dangerous had become mundane while the innocent now felt somewhat extraordinary. ”Oh.” Diana managed to respond, stopping herself from asking further questions. A kelpie in a well was very unlikely. Who knew what other wild goose chases this poor girl had been sent on.

And then the tables turned to Diana, unexpectantly. The girl quickly backtracked, which gave Diana a moment to think. ”Erm—“ She cleared her throat as they turned a corner. Out of habit, Diana glanced behind her, but nobody was around. She could usually tell if someone was lurking, a simple feeling that grew into instinct with exposure to such a place. ”No—it's fine. I was looking for something at Borgin and Burkes.” Every time Diana felt a lie so easily escape her lips, he unnerved her. ”I’ve always been interested in magical history, but the bookshops don’t carry all the books.” Diana understood why certain topics were taboo, but she was always interested in learning to learn and not spreading evil. At least, that’s what she told herself these days despite what blood might exist on her hands.

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[cordelia regan smith]

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What was the response going to be? Even though she had asked, Cordelia felt like she really didn’t want to know the answer. Silly her, trying to be proactive with her shyness. Now that she thought about it more, she should have snapped a picture of Diana. In the off chance this was a case of a Bainbridge gone bad. Her heart was pounding hard enough that she could hear it in her ears too. As if everything she had done today wasn’t already enough to send a cute, fluffy animal into cardiac arrest. All of this was bold of her. Eli would be proud.

The answer she received wasn’t exactly what she was expecting though. For some reason, Cordelia imagined it would be about cursed items or illegal magical creature organ trade on the black market. Or that Diana here was the security for Knockturn, sent out to dissuade her from walking any deeper into the alleyway and discovering things she really did not want to learn of. But in reality, it was because her guide wanted to go to Borgin and Burkes. Cordelia knew of the store, but she’d never be caught dead in there – or maybe she would one day, when she was actually dead.

She nodded her head to show that she understood, casually glancing over her shoulder as she did. The feeling of being watched never really left in Knockturn. Even with Diana here, she still felt it. ”That m-makes sense,” Cordelia accepted. She had more questions, of course, like what sort of magical history was unacceptable enough that it could only be sold in books in a shady bookshop, and not at one of the other ones in the accompanying alleys. Then she realized that it probably had more to do with the author than the contents of the book. There were plenty of writers that weren’t commonly accepted anymore, especially those that wrote centuries earlier, and their few remaining copies were left to collect dust elsewhere. ”Did you find anything?” she asked slowly, picking each word carefully enough that she didn’t stutter.

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[diana eoina bainbridge]

I'M ONLY HUMAN

AND I CRASH AND I BREAK DOWN

March 11, 2026
cordelia regan smith

Diana certainly was not going to admit to a perfect stranger how she was visiting Knockturn Alley in order to participate in the exchange of illegal goods and services. It was not the life Diana imagined for herself all those years ago. Not that she’d ever had a specific plan in mind, but it was never something like this. Maybe helping out this lost photographer was her good deed for the day, to balance out the rest of it. Nothing like an illegally modified potion to pay the bills.

Besides, her answer was reasonable. Much like during her school years when the professors finally granted her access to a book in the Restricted Section. Diana always held an insatiable thirst for knowledge. These days, it only made her feel sick because her talents were used this way. The galleons at the end were the only motivation. Merlin knew she could not afford to live on her own operating a register as her twin sister did. And living at home while in this life wasn’t an option.

”Not today.” Diana lied again, keeping her eyes forward. ”But I’ll check back next week. Sometimes they get a new book or two in…” The store did sell many books, but that hobby had come and gone. Maybe one day, Diana would feel like that bookworm once again.

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[cordelia regan smith]

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Even though Cordelia considered herself socially stunted when it came to in-person interactions, she wasn’t an idiot. There was a very real possibility that the reasoning Diana gave her about looking for books in Knockturn was bogus; maybe even higher of a chance than her lying about her name. Somehow, that seemed authentic, and she did look like a Diana. If that meant anything. Cordelia wasn’t completely naïve anymore, thank Merlin. She also didn’t doubt that Borgin and Burkes, and by extension the other shops inside the alleyway, held books and other objects that were…different. Not exactly nefarious, but maybe considered taboo by some. Or even rare. Flourish & Blotts was unbelievably mainstream when it came to buying books. There were times where she heard whispers of new Charms books but they only had a limited run and were explicitly written in French. She wasn’t going to up and go to Place Cachée in Paris just to buy it. That was an introvert’s nightmare, language barrier aside.

”Th-That’s unfortunate…” she said earnestly. But only because she knew that she wouldn’t want to have to repeatedly travel into Knockturn Alley just to see if a book might be in one of the shops. Her poor Hufflepuff heart wouldn’t be able to stand it. Even being here for as long as she had was too much. Thankfully, their last turn looked like it may be the final one, as up ahead was the exit back into Diagon. Cordelia could already feel her nervousness start to fade as the literal light at the end of the alley started to leak towards her. The sun had never felt so nice, even if it was still blotted out by the ominous buildings that loomed over the two of them. ”Thank y-you…again,” Cordelia said as they approached the exit. ”I-I would’ve been stuck for ages.” And now she had to go back to the office and develop her empty photo reels. Oh well. It was somewhat worth it by pushing her anxiety. ”I uhh…should g-get back to work now.”

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[diana eoina bainbridge]

I'M ONLY HUMAN

AND I CRASH AND I BREAK DOWN

March 11, 2026
cordelia regan smith

Diana shrugged lightly. Had her reasoning been true, it was still not the end of the world. She supposed that would have depended on how deep Diana had gone into that rabbit hole of a subject as she was known to do. Or used to. The idea left her heart sitting heavily in her stomach. She supposed this was why she didn’t visit home more often. Anytime Diana encountered anyone somewhat ‘normal’, it was only a painful reminder of what was just out of reach. Her fingertips seemed to graze the keys to her cage, but she would never reach them.

Before she knew it, Diana and Cordelia reached the entrance to Knockturn Alley. Automatically, she slowed to a stop at the entrance. Like some invisible force stopped Diana from continuing. ”It’s no problem.” She smiled softly at the girl. Clearly, the sight of familiar land left her looking relieved. Like a shipwrecked person placing their feet on dry land again. ”It's not a fun place to get lost.” Diana nodded, pulling out her phone to look busy.

[ end diana ]

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[cordelia regan smith]

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Just inhaling the smells of Diagon Alley was enough for Cordelia to feel at ease again. Knockturn was constricting and claustrophobic at the best of times, the air miasmatic. Someone like her never should have been in there in the first place. It wasn’t an area for her in the slightest. Cordelia liked soft, cuddly, quite things. Not alleyways and shops that felt like they could snuff her out of existence if she took one wrong turn. At the same time, forcing herself to take the job and adventure down Knockturn Alley was a step towards independence that she hadn’t thought she would ever take only a few years prior.

Cordelia left Diana behind, having given her thanks, and relished in the fact that there was clean air in Diagon Alley. While she probably should have gone back to the Quibbler office immediately, she really needed a break to decompress from getting lost. Letting her camera hang from her neck, she made her way towards Flourish & Blotts, which would at least provide her with some comfort. The smell of books was always relaxing. Then she could go back and try to explain to her editor how there weren’t any kelpie inside the well. They usually didn’t care…

[THE END]

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