a million little times | yas

[james sirius potter]

You showed me colors

you know I can't see with anyone else

June 30, 2024
YASMIN ZARA EL FAYED

James finished his ale, placing the empty mug back on the bar as he nodded for another one. Drinking so quickly wasn’t something he’d ever made a habit of before. Naturally, he’d tried the firewhiskey smuggled in by his classmates during his school days, but life lately had been anything but ordinary. He was thankful Lily, and Albus hadn’t been hurt in that recent attack following the Tri-Wizard Tournament and especially her cousin after her victory. It was over a year since he’d failed to keep Ethan safe from Elaine Dupree. He supposed that was supposed to have been the last of it. But it wasn’t.

Now nearing the end of June, James realized how alone he felt. He could chat up everybody in this pub if he wanted to, but it wouldn’t have helped. His father had been missing for over four weeks now, and there wasn’t any sign of him. It hurt. It hurt to see his mother so despondent and obviously in pain as she tried to be there for her children while wondering what had happened to the love of her life. It hurt James to see Albus’ blank expression as he didn’t know how to answer Lily’s questions of their father’s whereabouts. And it had hurt James when he’d felt overwhelmed and told Ariadne that he needed space. It wasn’t his intention to cause her pain, but he couldn’t deal with a relationship when his family felt on the brink of falling apart.

If he could, he would do everything in his power, his year of Hit-Wizard training and Ministry access to go and find him. But the Head Hitwizard had actually pulled him aside and told him not to, to let the Aurors handle it—that’s what they were there for. The bartender brought another ale, his gaze lingering on James’ in a mix of concern and curiosity. James nodded with a half-hearted grin as he hunched over, his arms crossed on the bar surface as he stared at the bubbles as they popped on the surface of the liquid. It was relatively quiet in the pub, so he heard when someone hopped on the stool next to him, but he didn’t look right away.

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[YASMIN ZARA EL FAYED]

Finally, Yas' magical education was complete. The Hogwarts graduation hadn't been a grand affair, not in the wake of so much bad news. The worst of which was that Harry Potter had disappeared. Yas had considered reaching out to James, once, twice, a million little times, but had always stopped herself. They were friends - of course they were friends. But there had always been some sort of unspoken agreement between them that she was afraid to cross. And she didn't know if expressing her condolences for his father's disappearance would cross that line or not.

Yas had considered applying for WADA, but had decided against it for the very fact that she didn't want to do anymore school. She was tired of assignments, tired of deadlines, tired of the monotony of being responsible to someone. For now, all she wanted was her art, and her parents had agreed to give her a six month buffer in which to find something more permanent. Yas was delighted at the chance to spread her wings and fly, though it was dampened somewhat by the general mood of wizarding Britain.

To celebrate her newfound freedom, Yas pushed her way into a pub deep in the heart of central London. She knew so few people in this city, only some from various online messaging boards and those from Hogwarts who had moved here as well. But Yas knew that she could befriend a stone wall if she so desired. She was taken aback by the familiar shock of thick, black hair that sat at the bar. As if drawn in on a reel, Yas approached James Potter, and slid into the seat next to him. She lay a gentle hand on his forearm, giving him a light squeeze. "James," she breathed, barely managing the word.

james sirius potter

[james sirius potter]

You showed me colors

you know I can't see with anyone else

June 30, 2024
YASMIN ZARA EL FAYED

He heard his name, and James turned to look. His hazel eyes were very green in this light, and they landed on a familiar face. And he knew he wasn’t imagining anything as a side effect of wild imagination and too much alcohol when he felt her warm hand on his arm. He blinked a few times before finally speaking. ”Yas—hi.” James sat up a little straighter from his previously hunched-over position. They had been friends during his time at school. At one point, he had tried to flirt with her in the library shamelessly, but then he’d been reminded she had a boyfriend at the time. Even if it wasn’t meant to be, they had a good rapport and became friends nonetheless.

And then he’d gotten closer to Ariadne that year, and there wasn’t drama regarding his relationships, but he would have preferred it to the actual drama of his seventh year. Students dying, students kidnapped an evil mastermind in their midst. It was good to see a friendly face. Since James had graduated and jumped into his training, it wasn't easy to keep in contact with friends who were still in school. ”I—um—how are you?” It wasn’t like him to be flustered. The extrovert thrived in new situations bit his mind was in so many different places.

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[YASMIN ZARA EL FAYED]

When James turned to look at her, Yas almost could have mistaken him for the man who had gone missing. His eyes flashed green in the dying light, the straight and stubborn set of his jaw so similar to the pictures Yas had seen of Harry Potter. But when he blinked, Yas saw the boy underneath, the friend she had made in school despite her turbulent romance with Emrys. And when Emrys had left her out in the cold, James had still been there by her side. "Hi," she echoed, not sure of what else she could possibly say.

Sorry your dad is missing? Sorry he might be dead? Sorry you don't know what to do? Yas didn't think words could express just how awful James must have felt at this very moment. There was a stretch of silence, growing more uncomfortable by the second. Yas' fingers sprung towards her bag, where her sketchbook and pencils had been hastily tucked away, but she froze. Now was not the time to capture James' brooding profile, not the time for her to paint his grief onto parchment. It wouldn't take the pain away.

"I'm okay," said Yas hesitantly. She swallowed, then ordered two more drinks for them. "I would ask you how you were... but I can imagine how you'll answer," she said, one side of her mouth quirking up in a twisted grin. "You know, a wise woman once said to me have a little faith. And if that doesn't work, have a lot of mimosas. And I think that can be applied here, except with pints," said Yas at last, her lips spreading into a full smile.

james sirius potter

[james sirius potter]

You showed me colors

you know I can't see with anyone else

June 30, 2024
YASMIN ZARA EL FAYED

It was the same reaction he’d gotten more times than he could count over the past few weeks. The looks of pity and regret. After a while, James became a bit numb to it all, plus it was easier to shut down pieces of himself to maintain some semblance of control. It had been a big factor in his decision to pull away from Ariadne despite her insistence that it was alright and she could be there for him. James had decided that it wasn’t fair to her that he focused all his efforts on his family situation and none on her. It hurt, but it was easier than balancing it all, but the side effect was the morose-looking boy at the bar rather than the lively and energic persona that was James Potter.

There was an awkward pause, again nothing new. But then Yas waved down the bartender to order more drinks, and James took a heart drink of his ale to make room for the next one that was coming. He shrugged, he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to feel, but he figured he was about as good as he was going to be right now. Truthfully, James didn’t want to admit how lonely he felt. Harry was a constant in James’ life, and as a boy, he’d worshiped the ground that he’d walked on and now he was just…gone. ”I don’t think I’ve ever tried a mimosa, to be honest.” James admitted, again finishing what felt like another third of his pint.

Yas was always the calm and happy presence, rather than James’ loud one. ”So, are you working here in London now?” James couldn’t recall Yas ever mentioning what she’d wanted to pursue in terms of a career specifically, but maybe she had mentioned it, and it had flown in one ear and out the other while he had been focusing on Phoenix Rising at the time. It wouldn't be the first time he completely missed what someone said.

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[YASMIN ZARA EL FAYED]

Yas could tell by the fall in his face that this wasn't the reaction he had been hoping for from her. Yas bit her bottom lip, her own brow crumpling. What else was she to say to him? They were silent for a moment, before Yas finally piped up again. She always found mimosas to be helpful. She managed a smile, but the usual spark in her eyes was missing. James looked at her, and she felt as if a yawning chasm separated them. Yas made a decision in that moment - to bridge that chasm and bring James back to life.

"Never tried a mimosa?" she echoed, scoffing. She turned to the bartender, ordering two. "Well, not for much longer," said Yas, wiggling her shoulders playfully for effect. Still the weight of the world seemed to fall squarely upon James' shoulders. She took a step forward and wrapped her arms around his neck, not squeezing too tight. "Remember. Faith and mimosas," she whispered in his ear before stepping back.

James took a massive gulp of his pint before asking if she had permanently relocated to London. Yas shrugged. "Here, there, everywhere," she said cryptically. In fact, she hadn't decided what to do or where to live. Just that she wanted to continue her art. "And hows being a big, bad, hitwizard?" asked Yas, poking James forcefully in the shoulder. The bartender dropped off their mimosas and Yas paid, passing one to James. "Well James. This one is for you." She saluted him before taking a deep drink, humming her appreciation for the bubbles that burst on her tongue.

james sirius potter

[james sirius potter]

You showed me colors

you know I can't see with anyone else

June 30, 2024
YASMIN ZARA EL FAYED

He had been trying to think of a word that could describe everything that he was feeling…or wasn’t feeling for that matter. Despondent? Numb? But he’d failed to find a word so far. Sometimes enough whiskey or beer would help calm his mind, but really he just focused on what he could do at the family home to help his mother while Albus had stepped up as well to pick up some of the slack. The silent support system they were creating was working even if it quickly was becoming a heavy weight to carry. It didn’t bother him that Yas worried. Everybody worried—it was just any ordinary Wizard that had disappeared after all.

She ordered mimosas for them, and James watched curiously out of the corner of his eye as the bartender prepared them. It seemed simple enough, though he couldn’t recall ever incorporating fruit juice into his drinking. Before he could react, she’d wrapped her arms around him for just a moment. It was now cold where her arms had momentarily made contact. Yas had never been shy to hug him at any point of knowing one another, and he wondered why it felt a bit different now. Maybe all the alcohol in his system was making his brain fuzzy. As she answered his question, he realized there was a word for what he felt—alone.

”Well—I’m still in training, so it's pretty mundane most days.” James still had another year before he’d be let loose on his own. Though he wished for something to happen to keep his mind off things. There was a feeling of isolation when the whole world looked at you with pity. It wasn’t something James had ever understood until now. The mimosas arrived, and James finished off his pint, pushing the empty tankard aside as he grasped the much smaller glass this drink arrived in. ”Thank you.” James responded in return before curiously inspecting the liquid for a moment before taking a drink. ”Not very strong, is it?” At least not to him, but he didn’t hate it. But, he would push through not wanting to put a damper on the situation and good company. ”Faith and mimosas.” He repeated, more to himself than anything before drinking more.

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[YASMIN ZARA EL FAYED]

Yas wrinkled her nose at James. "You're right, training is boring. That's why I've jumped in feet first at the only thing I'm good at. Shame I don't make much money," said Yas breezily. It was true - while she knew the value of her artwork, it was difficult to source buyers or collectors. She'd set herself up on an online platform, but marketing was difficult and also expensive. She was lucky to have her parents to help support her, even if she hated owing them anything.

Passing one of the glasses to James, Yas tipped her glass in his direction and toasted to him. Despite the deadened look in his face, he really did look quite handsome. In a rugged sort of way. Yas mentally chastised herself - this was her friend and she was a good and loyal friend. Not some simpering, lustful witch. The bubbles burst pleasantly on her tongue, and Yas replaced her glass on the bar. "No, not quite a double whisky. But they add up quickly," said Yas. "What do you think?" she asked, more out of curiosity than anything. It wasn't necessarily a very manly drink, but Yas didn't think that James would let that stop him.

"Well, anyways, you can get back to your shitty beer now that you've feasted upon the glorious bubbles of prosecco," she said with a smile, bumping his leg gently with her hip. "Next thing. Tell me three tiny little things that made you smile today," said Yas. "And don't say you haven't got any because that's a complete and utter lie."

james sirius potter

[james sirius potter]

You showed me colors

you know I can't see with anyone else

June 30, 2024
YASMIN ZARA EL FAYED

James would never be described as quiet or introverted. Never one to shy away from a laugh, a conversation, or a hug. But be found nowadays that it took a lot of energy to smile and stand up as straight as he was used to. All eyes were on Harry Potter’s children in such a time. James would arrive home from work and push through with chores and things needing to be done at the house before going straight to sleep after a glass or two of whiskey. Drained. Exhausted. It was all he felt and sad. James felt sad. His father was gone, his girlfriend—ex-girlfriend was gone, and his mother was detached and despondent.

”Sometimes the money doesn’t matter.” James spoke plainly. There was much that money could not buy, so he always thought that finding one’s passion was far more important. Even though his work had boring training, it was exactly where he wanted to be in the end. ”Do you still draw?” James asked, remembering the notebook Yas always carried and drew in, or she’d mention something she was working on. There wasn’t much in the glass to consume, and James finished it quickly. Placing the glass back on the bar and reaching back for his ale, which he was almost finished with. ”I think I like them.” The orange juice was nice, and it didn’t taste nearly as strong as whiskey. ”Another one?” James asked Yas as he waved down the bartender.

The beer wasn’t that bad, but then again, James didn’t come here for its quality. There was some semblance of privacy for the Potter in this bar, and a drink or two helped him clear his head. But he wasn’t prepared for her next question, and he legitimately paused to think of an answer. In the meantime, the bartender returned with more mimosas. ”Erm—Lily tested one of my Uncle’s new products on Al this morning. The confetti is still in his hair.” It had happened so suddenly in the hallway as Lily appeared to fly from the top of the staircase down to her brother before he left through the front door. Honestly, it was a laugh he needed. But James paused again.

The rest of the day had been ordinary and boring. ”I saw you.” His eyes moved to Yas. She had a way and a personality that made one feel comfortable. And she was a friendly face during a dark time, a break from the drudgery of going to work, going home, drinking, and making sure everybody was alright. James’ gaze lingered a moment, but he looked away to finish off his beer so he could drink the mimosa next. He didn’t have a third thing for the rest of his answer.

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[YASMIN ZARA EL FAYED]

James' frank assessment brought Yas to a halt. Her entire life had been purchased and traded by her parents. She had attended the finest wizarding school at their demand - despite Uagodou being much closer and traditional for her people. She flitted past the sticky thought, instead ordering the pair two glasses of prosecco. She couldn't much down the drink as sip precariously at it, watching James carefully as she did so. He didn't look completely disgusted, which she took as reassurance. "I do," she replied quietly, but their conversation swiftly moved on to further mimosas, to Yas' sheer delight.

Yas had an annoying habit of digging in deep to peoples psyches. The constant urge to know more had never translated to classwork, but James had always been an interesting subject. He was strong and steady, a dreamer at heart and weighed down by a sense of duty. He was so many paradoxes, it was no wonder she had drawn him on more than one occasion. Not that Yas would ever share that. She asked James to think of three things that had made him smile. She refused to take no for an answer. James sat silent for a moment, and their next drinks arrived. Yas downed her first, and sipped on her second. Finally, James managed a reply.

Yas had opened her mouth to comment how it must have been so strange to see Albus, the ever stoic and complaining brother, with confetti in her hair. But James' next response gave her pause. "You saw me," she repeated, a soft smile spreading across her face. "And I saw you. See? That's making me smile right now," she said, resting a hand on James' thigh. "One more thing, James. I know there's something else," she murmured, leaning closer to him, trapping him in her gaze, willing the joy to surface.

james sirius potter

[james sirius potter]

You showed me colors

you know I can't see with anyone else

June 30, 2024
YASMIN ZARA EL FAYED

James decided that mimosas were not his favorite, but it wasn’t terrible. And it was a drink—who was he to say no? Though he had to admit he wasn’t feeling much of an effect. Yas responded that she still drew, and James was about to ask more on the topic when another set of flutes arrived with more of the sweet beverage. ”Not very strong, are they…” He muttered as he drank half of this new glass in one go. Yas’ question had still caught him off guard. A topic he certainly hadn’t lingered on in some time, he realized. But how could one possibly be an optimist when their foundation was crumbling?

James opted to finish his beer while still cold, placing the empty container on the counter with a light thud. Then he could return to the mimosa and buy him some time for his answers. The first one was a recent memory and one that just felt fairly typical and normal. The second—was a reminder that he supposed he wasn’t as alone as he thought he was. But even stalling for a third answer, he was distracted by Yas’ warm smile and her insistence that seeing him was something that made her smile. She had a knack for those questions you never saw coming, the ones that made you think and all the while creeping behind your defenses.

James didn’t want to admit that he’d thought of Ariadne that day, wondering how she was fairing. Merlin, he missed her, but it wasn’t fair to drag her into this mess his family was in now. Some memories made him smile, but he let himself mope around most days. Yas moved a little closer to him, and he knocked back the rest of his drink, somehow not choking as he felt her warm hand on his leg. Suddenly he felt warm—or maybe these drinks were more potent than they let on. ”I—um…” Her eyes pierced his own, but he couldn’t think. Looking away, he cleared his throat slightly. That beer and whiskey he’d drank earlier were creeping in. ” I can’t think of a third one for today.” The bartender seemed to read his mind as he brought them more drinks.

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[YASMIN ZARA EL FAYED]

Yas leaned forward, her hand on James' leg as she willed the happiness to bubble to the surface. Something clouded his hazel eyes, and they shuttered. She leaned back, frowning, knowing the window of opportunity had passed. He looked away from her and Yas sighed, disappointed. "Two is better than none," she conceded, offering him a half smile. "I know it's hard when everything seems lost. But even though it's tough, the only way to go is up. And we'll be here to support you," she offered, her smile growing this time.

The bartender brought them more drinks, and Yas flicked her long black hair over her shoulder. "Don't let yourself drown, Potter. Didn't someone teach you how to swim?" she asked, taking a sip of the drink that had been placed in front of her. "And these things hit you like a brick shithouse. One second you're sober as a nun, the next you're on the bar pouring shots of tequila into strangers mouths," said Yas sagely, speaking from experience. Tilting her head, she went on. "But maybe that's just what you need, you know? Something to forget, something to cut the ropes holding you down and to let you fly."

james sirius potter

[james sirius potter]

You showed me colors

you know I can't see with anyone else

June 30, 2024
YASMIN ZARA EL FAYED

Yas was always kind, always friendly, and always genuine. So many that surrounded James rode high on their egos or their pride. Always with something to prove and ready to throw it in one’s face. There were good people too, but they all saw James Potter. Yas just saw James. Much like Ariadne did and those close to him. But his family was just as distracted as he was by this heavy loss. He nodded meekly. She spoke the same words many had spoken to him, though with different variations. The ‘its tough now, but it will get better’ and ‘you’re strong like your father, you’ll come out alright’. The mere thought of the second one made his chest feel tight. James wasn’t anything like Harry. Why didn’t anyone see it?

With a new drink in his hand, the mimosas went down easy, and he wondered why he bothered to sip it when it took only five seconds to drink the whole glass. But his eyes glanced up at her statement. It was less gentle than the previous words. ”I’m not—“ but he stopped. There was a constant suffocating feeling James felt he was always running from. ”Some days, it's just a little harder to keep my head above water.” The boy admitted as he paused a moment, thoughts jumbled by the alcoholic mess that was his brain. But then he placed the empty glass back on the counter. But Yas’ idea intrigued him, and he knew the alcohol was hitting him because he tried to look up and felt just a tiny bit wobbly on his chair. ”So…tequila is the answer to my problems?” He clarified. Forgetting felt like an excellent idea.

James didn’t want to think about the void his father left behind, the expectation and the legacy he was supposed to protect, and how could he forget the broken heart that was his own fault. Yes, tequila did sound like an excellent idea. ”That might be the best idea I’ve heard all day.”

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[YASMIN ZARA EL FAYED]

"Tequila is the solution," said Yas sagely, offering James a smile. "And then you'll take flight and be free," she added. She looked towards the bartender, and with a smile and a quick confundus charm under the bar, she managed to get him to bring over a bottle of tequila. She slipped him a few pound notes, and offered James her hand. "Come on, let's get out of here and make fools of ourselves in the privacy of my house," said Yas. When he took her hand, she led him out of the pub and around into a dark alley. From there, she apparated to the flat her parents had procured for her.

Yas directed James to the cream coloured couch. Most of her home was muted colours - decorated tastefully as her parents would have wanted. "Sit," she directed, pressing down on his shoulders so he would obey. "Tilt your head back," she said after a moment, opening the bottle of tequila. "It's time to fly, James."

james sirius potter

[james sirius potter]

You showed me colors

you know I can't see with anyone else

June 30, 2024
YASMIN ZARA EL FAYED

James very quickly decided to go along with this new plan. To drink and forget. The champagne in the mimosas had already begun seeping into his brain until that heavy dark feeling was pushed away and replaced with something warm and fuzzy. Relief. That was all that he had asked for. Relief and a distraction from his awareness of all that rested on his shoulders. For once, he didn’t want to be James Potter and all that came with it. In the blink of an eye, Yas acquired a bottle of tequila, the bartender none the wiser.

She summoned him, that twinkle in her eye and smile on her face. Merlin, she was beautiful. James had always thought so, but she’d been seeing someone, and then James had moved on. And yet here they were. James took her hand, focusing very hard on not falling over as he stepped onto the floor from the barstool. And just as the cool air hit him in the face, he felt that sudden pull into his center as they apparated. ”Is this your—“ James began to ask as his eyes scanned his new surroundings, but Yas ordered him to the couch, and he obeyed. This cure was her idea. She was in charge.

James was determined to just let go. The thought that the responsibility of his name, society, and his family’s expectations of him could be gone if only for a short while was bliss. Nobody had explicitly asked him for anything, but he could see it in all their eyes. His eyes lingered on her own for an extra second before he obeyed and tilted his head back. Just as he felt Yas getting closer to him, he tasted tequila. And quite a bit of it, which he forced down. Merlin, it burned. ”Don’t forget to save some for yourself.”

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