Is There Something In The Movies? [Vivian]

[Vivian River Jordan]

Viv crossed her arms tightly, although at this point it felt more like she was hugging herself and less like an outward sign of annoyance. The broom was still hanging loosely in her hand, but Vivian didn’t even register the weight of it while her eyes bored a hole into the table. She tried to ignore Nova whirling around on the stairs to snap at her, pretending that she was really assessing the thin layer of glitter that had settled over the books and quills other Ravenclaws had left behind before shuffling off to bed. But really, Nova’s words drilled straight into her brain like she’d ordered the express owl package and Viv felt them ringing around in her head.

Because sure, the Hogwarts rumor mill worked pretty efficiently – but the rumors didn’t live up to the real deal. Viv, like most of their year, had already heard the longtime rumor that Papa Vector went through wives like some of the past kings of England, and it was fairly well known that there were almost as many Vectors running around as there were Greybacks. Her mouth flattened at the feeling in her chest that told Viv she was feeling sorry for Nova, because she didn’t want to feel sorry for her. Her family history didn’t really change that Nova still thought she was better than her, and did a fairly good job of communicating that fact to Viv, or that she probably wouldn’t hesitate to land the girl in detention if she thought it would help her. And it definitely didn't change that despite going through all this stuff on her own, Nova had never bothered trying to get to know her roommates or explain herself.

“Actually, you don’t project much. It’s like you don’t even notice the rest of us are there,” Viv snapped back, finally whirling around to glare at Nova. The girl was poised on the winding staircase like she was a second away from disappearing, and it was such a classic move for the blonde that Viv felt the repressed frustration bubbling up. “So you hate going home. At least you’ve still got Hogwarts. You get to be here without having your things trashed or graffiti done up in fake blood or a rubbish petition to send you home. But Nova’s got essays to write and exams to study for, why should she notice what’s going on in her own bloody bedroom? Or did you just think I like having people wonder when I'll wolf out?” Viv exploded, pointing the broom in her hand accusatorily at Nova. Her voice wobbled a bit. “It’s been two awful years, but at least I don’t try to hide it. You haven’t said a word. How d’you expect me to get it?”

nova hypatia vector

[nova hypatia vector]

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There was a reason she'd never attached herself to anyone else at school for longer than a year or two: they couldn't abandon her if there wasn't anything there to begin with. Losing a mother you couldn't even visualize anymore and having her replaced with a 'new mum' who was lovely but rightfully cared more about her own children than anyone else. Then having her ripped away too, just to get Harmony. There was no sense of normalcy outside of her aunt and brother. They were the only constants. At school, she didn't have her aunt and Archie had more important things to deal with as a professor. Even if that wasn't the case, it was how she had always seen it. Keeping her head down and working hard was all she felt she could do, despite her future already being semi-determined by working at the bakery. What others said or felt about her really didn't matter until they started to poke into her armored shell like Vivian was right now. That was why it came across like an attack, and retreating like she'd been trying to for the last several minutes was for her own self-preservation. She didn't know how to act otherwise. To disappear and be forgotten by her classmates. That was what she really wanted. Obviously not something that could actually happen if she started working in Horizont Alley, but a transactional relationship with customers was brief and momentary. She felt like she didn't deserve anything more than that. Being forced to have it was even worse. Why couldn't Vivian understand that?

If they wanted to really talk about projection, then it was starting to become clear that her roommate was the one that was actually doing it. Nova knew things hadn't been easy for Vivian, considering what their dorm room occasionally looked like. Saying anything about that right now would come across as disingenuous at best, despite her own feelings on it, so she kept quiet, wondering how this was ultimately going to end. "I don't expect anyone to get it. Why is it so hard to just leave me alone and let me do what I want? I never asked for you to be my savior, or whatever it is you think you're trying to do. The people that have done all that messed up stuff to you aren't going to suddenly think you're alright because you 'cured Nova Vector of her loneliness'. I don't want to be noticed, I don't want help, and I don't want people to pretend that they care anymore. So please stop. I just want to be left alone."

Vivian River Jordan ● 439 ● Song by Artist

MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOX 2.0

[Vivian River Jordan]

It was something Viv could never imagine for herself – being alone by choice. Don’t get her wrong, there were times when she wanted to be alone. Whenever she was brainstorming her next big prank or cramming in some last-minute studying for an exam, there were definite advantages to finding a peaceful broom closet or camping out at the library. But the thought of having to do things alone because she’d pushed people away repelled her at its very fundamentals. Even if she had to deal with nosy students or prejudiced parents, it didn’t change the fact that Viv had people in her life who actually cared – and they were probably the only reason she hadn’t gone mad lately. So it just couldn’t compute that Nova wanted to be alone to deal with her crappy home life and overinflated expectations for excellence at school. Like, who would actually choose that for themselves?

At some point their confrontation had gotten petty, but Viv wasn’t willing to apologize because then it would just seem like she was admitting fault here. And despite the bombshell Nova had dropped about her Cinderella-like life (Viv couldn’t wait to report back to her dad that she’d remembered the Muggle fairytale), she didn’t think she was wrong for calling her House-mate out for her self-imposed isolation or the way she turned her nose up. “You are literally the most annoying person ever,” Viv huffed, trying to avoid the urge to curl her hands into fists and yell at Nova. A quick glance at the window reminded her that her glitter bomb brainstorming had gone way past being-awake hours and into precious sleep time.

“Stop acting like you know what’s going through my head! Why do you think I’m pretending to care or that I give two diricawls about changing people's minds about me?” Viv had a bad taste in her mouth at the thought that there were people out there who actively hated her, but she played it cool most days and she could play it cool now. She straightened up and said acidly, “I just thought I could share this with you. I didn’t mean to drop the box but I’m still proud of it, I worked on modifying that spell for ages.” Viv glared at Nova while she tried not to dwell on her roommate's insinuation that she was being disingenuous about caring. Was that just Nova's automatic bias or was that really the vibe that Vivian gave off...? “But fine, you win! Go be alone and see how good it feels.” She snatched the broom back up and began to sweep violently like the glitter had personally offended her.

nova hypatia vector

[nova hypatia vector]

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Nova highly doubted she was the most annoying person ever. That was the duo of Mina Oliveira and Rue Weiss. When they weren't high or causing a disruption in Potions, they were giggling obnoxiously about something insignificant. She really didn't care about what they did since it wasn't nefarious in the slightest, but they were a whole Quidditch better to deal with than Vivian was right now. But if they really wanted to break it down to who the most obnoxious was, it had to be either those two combined, or Lily Potter. That kid didn't shut up at all. Nova knew that wasn't the sort of answer her housemate was looking for though, just that she knew she absolutely was not the most annoying currently at the school. Keeping to herself didn't make her that way at all.

There was a point about five minutes prior where she should have just packed her things up and left. Maybe even leaving the common room to find an empty classroom somewhere to avoid all of this. Vivian kept going though, on and on about her stupid glitter duplication charm or whatever it was, and how all she wanted to do was share it with someone. Nova called bollocks on that, as it was four in the morning and Vivian had come storming into the common room like an Erumpent on fire. "Thats what I've been trying to do this whole time, but you won't let it go," she responded, exasperated and annoyed. Nova took another couple of steps up towards the dorm room before stopping and turning back one last time. "If you're trying to make someone like you or open up to you, this isn't the way to do it by the way. Just thought you might need to know that. It's frustrating and overbearing." Adjusting her grip on her book and papers, Nova finally climbed the rest of the way up to her room. By the time her eyes blinked closed again, everyone would be getting up for breakfast. Vivian would probably still be sweeping the glitter up too. Whatever. That was her problem to deal with.

Vivian River Jordan ● 358 ● Song by Artist

MADE BY VEL OF GS + ADOX 2.0

[Vivian River Jordan]

Viv wanted to get along with her roommates, really. As an only child, she’d been fascinated with the thought of having live-in friends for ages before she’d actually made it on the train to Hogwarts and her expectations had been rather high as a result. Ravenclaw could be a tricky House in that sense. Sure, there were a few traits that bound them all together and set them apart. An appreciation for subtlety and witty banter, the ability to speed-read a textbook, the desire to push boundaries. But there were a lot of different kinds of Ravenclaws and Viv had always tended to clash with her book-smart House mates who cared more about their marks than anything else. Especially the competitive ones, especially the ones who pretended (or maybe actually) didn’t care about the people around them. Her friendship with Terry did seem to prove that Viv was capable of being quiet and thoughtful sometimes, of seeing ‘the other side’ of things – but talking with Nova always seemed to end in disaster and prove that some chasms were too wide to cross.

Being called overbearing by Nova Vector of all people seemed absurd, and Viv stewed in silence at the injustice of it for a moment. But the simple fact of things was that Nova wanted to be alone, and had all the empathy of the Whomping Willow for whoever was in her immediate vicinity. So why did Viv keep pushing the issue? She supposed it had something to do with the desire to be liked, and something to do with that daydream that she’d carried to Hogwarts with her. The bite had probably just made it all worse. “Bye,” Viv said frostily as Nova turned her back on her, wishing she could have the last word but unwilling to hear more of her bad traits listed out robotically like she was receiving marks for an exam. The box sat inconspicuously on the table, and Viv soothed herself with the thought that she’d track down Benny tomorrow to show him and that he’d be much more appreciative of the fact. It was either that or continuing to grip her makeshift broom so tightly that it threatened being snapped in half. And, she promised herself, she was going to be the first to answer every Potions question tomorrow in class. See how much Nova liked that.

nova hypatia vector
[End post Viv? ]