raw [rose]

[DAMIAN ANDREAS KARKAROFF]

29th July 2027

Damian tried to ignore the fact that he felt a pang of disappointment at each day that passed without word from Rose. He'd thought he'd broken through to her, but her silence spoke volumes. Instead, he distracted himself in the usual manner - with shit drinks, shittier girls, and questionable choices at the end of the night. In the days, when he wasn't so hungover that he wanted to vomit, he dug deep into the background of Asher Burke. But those days were growing rarer and rarer - most mornings, his head felt like it had been cleaved open. That didn't stop Damian from drowning himself more.

It was the forlorn looking junior photographer, Leonardo or some weird Italian name like that, who had spurred Damian into action. Damian wasn't one to sulk. He got over himself and mucked in. Though he'd tried to distract himself, he'd failed. Miserably. The only way to put his mind at ease was to face Rose herself.

This will be the last time, thought Damian to himself as he shuffled up the derelict streets of Knockturn Alley. He kept his head down - he didn't want Cas to see him at this low point in his life. The teasing would be endless. Damian? Lovesick over a girl? Hunting her down and pawing pitifully at her door? Ana and Cas would never let him live it down. Thankfully, he ran into no familiar faces as he approached Rose's door, familiar in a way that it shouldn't be. He'd only been here once or twice before, but somehow the circumstances had changed. He knocked thrice on the door before he could turn away, wondering if she would accept his house call.

Rozalina Antonina Nightshade

[Rozalina Antonina Nightshade]

July 29 2027
DAMIAN ANDREAS KARKAROFF

Rose was… agitated. Though the word couldn’t encompass fully what she was feeling it was most appropriate. Like a restless cat with no outlet. She’d been bedridden for a day after the poisoning. No, the effects were long past now but she was just seething in emotions. Anger, rage and frustration were overwhelming her. She wanted to lash out and destroy everything. But she needed a clear head. She had to deal with her addictions before she tried to form any sort of retaliation against her father’s mistress. And detoxing was… uncomfortable.

Rose was a smart woman. She knew she was dependent on the alcohol and special cigarettes. She used them to numb her emotions. To get the desired affect she’d had to consume enough to form a full addiction. Days of detox on any person were hell. But when you could feel your emotions coming back to you in full force? Well… Rose tended to get violent.

Rose had avoided all company as she detoxed. The only one near being her house elf who stayed out of Rose’s way she just cleaned up anything the woman broke as her emotions came back to her.

Today Rose had hit a new low, and she’d smashed all the remaining liquor bottles, throwing them against a wall before slumping in an armchair in the living room. The house elf didn’t dare come near, a wise decision. After a few hours the elf finally started to clean up the broken glass in the hall, working as silently as she could to not disturb Rose. Rose hadn’t moved from the armchair in the living room, though she was now reclined back, a hand covering her eyes and rhe dark circles underneath them from lack of sleep.

There was a knock at the door. The elf almost jumped, immediately looking to Rose. Rose didn’t move. So, tentatively, with brook still in hand, the house elf moved to the door and opened it. She kept it partially closed to hide most the destruction, but couldn’t fully block the view due to her short stature. The house elf vaguely knew Damian, only really knowing he was someone her mistress somewhat trusted. “I’m sorry… My mistress isn’t seeing visitors right now…” she stuttered, her little voice wavering and stuttering more than usual and nervous as she tried to speak quietly enough to not disturb Rose but still be heard by the man.

[DAMIAN ANDREAS KARKAROFF]

Damian waited a heartbeat that stretched into a minute. Finally, he heard the pattering of small feet and a tiny little elf opened the door. Damian blinked down at the elf in surprise. Rose usually was the one to answer the door... or at least she had been any time Damian had knocked. He hadn't seen a house elf in the flesh in years - they'd fallen out of fashion with the fall in blood supremacy. Overcoming his shock, Damian replied smoothly. "I wouldn't class myself a visitor."

His voice came out quietly confident and after hesitating for a moment, the elf stepped aside and allowed Damian in. Damian glanced around the still house, noting the broken shards of glass, the broom and various other destroyed items littering the ground. "Mistress is not feeling well," the elf tried again, but Damian paid it no mind and brushed past the little creature. He found his way into Rose's lounge, careful not to set any of the various traps he knew were laid around the house. Damian wondered still how Rose could be comfortable here. It was dark and eerie, and smelled a bit like death.

"Rose?" said Damian, stopping short upon spotting her prone form on the recliner. Her pale skin was greyish, her usually lustrous blonde hair splayed limp around her face. A slim fingered hand covered her face, hiding her calculating eyes from view. "Merlin, I was wondering what happened to you. You look..." he trailed off. Rose wouldn't want him to sugar coat. "You look like shit. From one er... one friend to another," he said, perching himself on the edge of the sofa beside her. He turned his attention to the elf who was nervously hovering at the edge of the room. "Could you get us a drink? Er... like a strong tea. Or a whisky." The elf yelped and disappeared, coming back a few moments later with a tray laden with steaming green tea, sugar, milk and biscuits. "You didn't reply to my letters," said Damian, a note of accusation in his tone.

Rozalina Antonina Nightshade

[Rozalina Antonina Nightshade]

July 29 2027
DAMIAN ANDREAS KARKAROFF

Rose didn't care who was at the door. The pounding headache she'd been fighting took more priority. Normally the woman would easily whip up a remedy and fix it. She was, after all, medically trained. But currently the woman had absolutely no trust in anything consumable in the house. She'd ordered the house elf to throw everything away but even then, Rose didn't trust it. That Nightshade paranoia, which was normally kept at bay with the sedatives she took, was in full swing. A paranoia that was consuming, convinced that nothing and no one could be trusted, not even a simple grocery store clerk. It was just one of the many reasons she used those emotional numbing sedatives.

She heard some voices, but just ignored them. The house elf would shoo them away and the quiet would return. A suffocating silence that only made her feel like she was going mad. A silence that left her to her thoughts and feelings. Others could probably help distract her... But Rose... did not trust herself in her current state to be around other people. Not while she was withdrawing from the cigarettes. Alcohol alone? She could handle it. But the cigarette withdrawal made her wildly unpredictable and, as the glass on the floor said, sometimes violent. So, she had to suffer in silence. Alone.

Only... she wasn't alone. Hearing her name in a familiar voice stirred up long dormant emotions. Emotions that bubbled to the surface but never this intense. She didn't move, part of her convinced it must be a hallucination. Seemed only fitting that she should start to hallucinate. Rose finally let out a bitter scoff, not quite a laugh but close. "Come to enjoy the show?" she snapped, a sharpness to her voice that was even uncommon for her. Damian's voice moved closer, mentioning her appearance and she realized it couldn't be a hallucination. She'd never hallucination kindness and worry. "Yes well I've had a shitty week. I'd love to see you look better." She was alive though, which, in the long run, was what happened. She'd survived the poisoning attempt. Now she just needed to clear her head so she could get her revenge.

Rose felt the slightest shift of the sofa as Damian... leaned on it? Or sat on the arm, something of the sort. She chose to ignore his next comment, which seemed to be directed at the house elf and not her. As the elf returned though Rose finally moved her hand and stared, suspiciously, at Damian. Her eyes were tired but also sharp. There was a swirling of emotion that Damian never would had seen in her typically still or icy gaze. Almost as if Rose were feeling a thousand things at once, which she was in a sense. She didn't bother sitting up, just stared at him. "As you can see I've been busy," was her defiant retort. With that Rose forced herself to sit up, her head swimming. She reached out to grab the arm of the sofa, steadying herself, while the other raised to her head, holding her temple as her head throbbed painfully. "I'm not in an entertaining mood, Damian," she finally stated as the nausea and throbbing passed.

[DAMIAN ANDREAS KARKAROFF]

Damian smirked, even as he knew that Rose wasn't looking at him. "Come now, Rose. Self deprecation doesn't suit you," he replied smoothly. The elf returned with their tea and he inclined his head. "Thank you," said Damian in a low voice. He wasn't sure how to act around the elf, and was glad when it bowed and retreated back into the corridor. Damian took his time pouring the tea. "Sugar?" asked Damian, ignoring Rose's behaviour. He dropped a brown sugar cube in his own cup and swirled his spoon in the liquid twice. He blew the steam that was drifting off the surface and took a sip. He cringed - too hot.

"Busy feeling sorry for yourself? Very unlike you, Rose. The Rose I know would never let something so minor as a headache get in her way," Damian prodded, not knowing the intensity of the fire he was playing with. She rose, swaying slightly as she did so. Damian reached out to steady her, but she straightened herself with the aid of the soda arm. She touched her temple gingerly, and Damian frowned. Her sickly pallor only increased as she shifted, admitting that she wasn't in the mood for entertaining. "What's going on?" asked Damian, his concern growing. Because something had to be wrong. Rose was barbed and thorny, not resigned and pained. The woman before him looked as if something had beaten her.

Reaching for her once more, Damian stopped himself and withdrew his hand. He mulled over his options, at a loss for words for the first time in a long time. "Can... I help you?" he managed, cringing at the hesitancy in his tone. Damian hated to see her like this. Without her fire and passion. Like the light inside her had been snuffed out.

Rozalina Antonina Nightshade

[Rozalina Antonina Nightshade]

July 29 2027
DAMIAN ANDREAS KARKAROFF

Should Damian know how Rose's week had been... well, it wasn't really self deprecation. She wanted to glare at the man, but the light of the room, despite being dim, still hurt her eyes. She did scowl though. She didn't bother responding, to his initial comment or the question of sugar. Rose, considering recent experiences, was extremely paranoid. That could also be withdrawal though... Well, Rose could actually be quite paranoid, it was one of the emotions she intentionally numbed. But when you happened to be poisoned in your own home paranoia was to be expected.

His prodding though was... irksome and aggravating. The numbing helped reduce the uncontrollable rage that was both a Nightshade trademark and an emotion that Rose desperately tried to keep under wraps. Most of the time that rage was kept under a tight lid, between the alcohol and drugs. But right now.. Rose could feel it boiling as she moved her hand from her face and glared at him. "Minor..?" she hissed, her voice dangerously low and sharp. Then, the hint of concern in his voice made her pause. Concern was not something she was used to hearing, at least not towards her. There was a part of her that wanted to tell him exactly what was going on, but another part, the part of her that was trained to keep secrets and never showed weakness, wanted to stay silent.

She couldn't help but scoff, her gaze turning away as he asked if he could help. Help? Help how? After a moment she leaned against the arm of the sofa, her head in her hand as she tilted her head back to him. There was a dark pain and fury in her eyes. She didn't say anything for a moment, just stared at him with that uncontrolled rage threatening to boil to the surface. "Damian..." she started to say, speaking slowly. She paused momentarily as she tried to decide what, or how much to tell him. Finally she let out a sigh, her hand back on her temple as it continued to throb. "It's dangerous to be around me while I'm detoxing. The things I take to.... control myself are volatile when coming off of." she finished as she closed her eyes as a particularly painful throb beat through her head.

[DAMIAN ANDREAS KARKAROFF]

Rose looked exceptionally put off by the thought of ingesting anything. "What, it's not like I've had your house elf poison your tea," said Damian, rolling his eyes. Her reply came out as a hiss between her teeth, and even that didn't put him off. It raised shivers up the back of his spine, which he was mostly certain that was not the intended behaviour. Even so, in the years he had known her on the periphery and the months he'd gotten to know her better, it seemed unusual for Rose to allow anything to set her back.

When Rose scoffed, Damian frowned. Now he knew something was wrong, that she was hiding something. The investigator in him was dying to find out more - to wheedle until he could steal the secret from her lips and tuck it away for safety. But another part of him was concerned. It wasn't a feeling he was familiar with really, having only been concerned with his own wellbeing for so long. Rose leaned against the arm of the sofa, her head cradled in her hand as her blonde locks tumbled down around her shoulders. Her eyes were like pitch, fathomless and unyielding.

"Why hold yourself back?" asked Damian after a long silence. "Should you not be unapologetically yourself? Shouldn't a Nightshade be as poisonous as their name?' he added, his gaze drifting across his face. "To control is to limit. I know you have a raw power in you, something lethal and terrifying. You wouldn't be you without it. I'm not afraid though. You could dissect me, rip me inside out, poison me and scoop out my eyeballs and still, I would not be afraid."

Rozalina Antonina Nightshade

[Rozalina Antonina Nightshade]

July 29 2027
DAMIAN ANDREAS KARKAROFF

Perhaps mentioning poisoning to Rose wasn’t the best decision at the moment. At least not while her emotions were so unstable from the withdrawals. Her gaze turned sharp like daggers and focused on him, unblinking or wavering. A fire violently burst into existence in the previously unlit fireplace. It wasn’t intentional, but perhaps it may speak to her state at the moment. A violent and uncontrollable storm struggling behind those dark eyes, barely keeping it from bubbling over. ”You’re not the one I’m concerned about,” she finally answered. Those eyes, now illuminated by the flames never wavered from his own, and were the clearest Damian has ever seen them. The mask that has always hidden Rose was gone. Her eyes told him what she hadn’t. She wasn’t concerned about him. She was concerned about someone else.

Withdrawing brought about many emotions and memories that Rose wanted to stay buried and forgotten. Things she’d done. Things she felt. Towards others and towards herself. The sedatives helped tame things. Helped her fight the teachings of her upbringing. Damian’s words… in a way terrified her. Rose was a creature of control. Never wavering, never losing her composure or control. The Rose she strive to be, the one he knew, was that creature. The one he spoke of was the Nightshade. The one she strove never to show. And yet here he was, seeing her fight with that side of her and almost provoking it to come out.

Rose moved before she even registered what was happening, acting on pure instinct. Getting up from her seat and moving to Damian and planting her hands on the sofa back behind him as she leaned into him, her face only a few breaths away from his. Again, those raw and wild eyes, suddenly clear, trained on him like a snake that was waiting for it’s prey to get close enough to strike. ”Don’t tempt me, Damian. I could do far worse to you,” again, her eyes seemed to be saying what she didn’t. They said she had done far worse.

[DAMIAN ANDREAS KARKAROFF]

Damian didn't show his surprise as a fire violently burst to life in the cold grate beside them. However, his stomach leapt into his throat and his fingertips pricked with the spike in adrenaline. Damian's nostrils flared as he struggled to maintain his even breathing, and her hiss of a voice rattled him. Damian met her gaze, and noticed they were somehow brighter than usual - he hadn't noticed the dullness to her gaze before until he saw them right now. A sense of relief mixed with confusion washed through Damian. He wanted Rose to be concerned with him. But something in him told him not to continue poking the sleeping dragon. It already had an eye cracked.

Unfortunately for Damian, he had grown accustomed to ignoring the warning bells in his head. How else would he be the successful journalist that he was? You had to ask the right questions, poke the tender spaces to get the real story. The truth. Damian was afraid of little, having chased unimaginable monsters in the past, and having been born into a world filled with darkness. But as he appraised the girl before him, the warning bells rang again.

Rose shifted after Damian offered his opinion, moving like a snake in tall grass. That bright gaze held a raw energy in them, and she hissed a threat, the look in her eyes offering even more insight. But Damian wasn't cowed. "We're born into a world where we think magic makes gods of us. But in the end, we're only human," he replied, a hand moving to her waist to steady her. He knew the rumours of her family - knew that rumours were always based on some seed of fact. If the Nightshades did really kill for power, this was Rose's way of confirming it. Damian swallowed the information, valuable as it was. But he wouldn't spread it, despite his role in society. "I don't think you will," he went on, not breaking her gaze. "I don't think you will hurt me, Rose. You could, but you wont," he said quietly.

Rozalina Antonina Nightshade

[Rozalina Antonina Nightshade]

July 29 2027
DAMIAN ANDREAS KARKAROFF

Rose, despite being her upbringing, had always strove to have a reason for violence. Some sort of justification for her own conscience. When she was angry though it make it very difficult to find justification and not just choose violence because it was easy. And it was easy, very easy. It was as natural as breathing. Power was the only thing that had mattered growing up, the power to outsmart or overwhelm another. It was the only way you survived in the Nightshade manor. It was why she was the only one of her mother's children still alive. But Rose tried to hide that more... aggressive side of her to others. From Damian. But yet here he was, dangerously close as that dark and unbridled aggression boiled just below the surface.

Rose didn't pull away as she felt his arm around her waist, just stood leaning there so dangerously close. Her eyes, tired, raw, but stirring with emotion didn't blink or waver, just stared into his own with an intensity that would make most people uncomfortable. Damian wasn't looking away though and that bravery (or stupidity) helped to calm the raging storm in her mind. Well, maybe not calm, but at least it focused it. "That doesn't mean I don't want to though," she breathed softly. "Maybe I want to see how far I can push you before you break." She could, like he'd said. She wanted to, as she said. But even in her current instability she was trying to retain some semblance of control to not act on it.

[DAMIAN ANDREAS KARKAROFF]

Rose admitted that she did indeed want to hurt Damian - and it was not unexpected. Damian knew that she liked to be pushed, questioned, justified and challenged. It was part of her allure. The rage in her gaze softened ever so slightly, though the depths of her dark eyes smouldered in the firelight. "Some bend. Some break," he replied at last his voice a quiet breath. His free hand reached for her face, his thumb drawing along the sharp line of her chin. "The worst monsters are the ones in us of our own creation," he added in a murmur, never breaking eye contact with her as he did so.

Damian was a man of words, of persuasion. It was why he'd been so successful in his career as a journalist. He'd been able to travel, to tease secrets out of unwilling participants, to weave the truth into something that was both beneficial and ultimately useful. With Rose so close to his face, her malevolent glare and ruby lips and her chest rising and falling, Damian forgot about his most powerful weapon. Only that he wanted to sway her and make her his.

Rozalina Antonina Nightshade

[Rozalina Antonina Nightshade]

July 29 2027
DAMIAN ANDREAS KARKAROFF

While it wasn't something Rose chose to admit to others, it was a fact known to herself that her upbringing had not fostered a healthy... mental state. When you were exposed to what she had as a child it twisted your sense of reason and justice. Right and wrong were foreign concepts, and something only "lesser" people cared for. When you had power you were above it all. The end justifies the means. While Rose was often called the most reasonable of her family it was due to her self awareness of her own twisted personality. That awareness enabled her to decide when to abide, or ignore, social norms. But anger... anger made it difficult. Like a trained wild animal. You could train it all you wanted. But should you ever corner it, natural instinct would take over. A wild animal would always be a wild animal at the end of the day. And a Nightshade would always be a Nightshade...

Damian's words felt both like gasoline on the flames and a smothering blanket. Both hot and cold. Damian wasn't running away, or turning away from her. He stood his ground, holding her and seemingly willing to face whatever she threw at him. Meeting that dark gaze of his seemed to almost sooth the violent rage and bring her back to a smolder. Still hot. Still burning. But no longer blinded by the flames of her anger. "You won't like the monster inside me, Damian." She slowly and quietly stated to speak. She didn't know what urged her to share but she just felt... She had to. "I'm going to do something terrible and they deserve what's about to happen." There was that wild wrath once more. But there was a strange sense of justification in her tone. As if she was silently saying whoever it was she planned to hurt had brought this upon themselves. "Will you see me differently after seeing the monster I hide?"

[DAMIAN ANDREAS KARKAROFF]

Damian met Rose's gaze evenly, unflinching. She kept trying to frighten him, but hadn't she gotten the measure of him already? He would do anything for a story. He wasn't afraid. Perhaps if he had gone to Hogwarts, he would have been sorted into Gryffindor. What a terrifying thought, as a Karkaroff. But he didn't back down. Damian hardly even breathed, afraid of startling Rose when she was so close. He could count every one of her long lashes. It was a herculean effort not to close the distance and kiss her.

"No," he breathed at long last. "I see you for you." Perhaps she was a product of her upbringing - but her capabilities as a healer spoke volumes. That she would rather restore than break, would rather fix than shatter. He knew that was the true Rose, despite all the horrible things he was sure she had done. Damian had never confirmed the rumours, but the intensity in Rose's stare told him that every word was true. And things even more terrible than he could imagine had happened too. Yet still, Damian remained. He wasn't afraid. "I see you," he repeated, his voice barely over a whisper. Rose didn't act without thought and reason. She wasn't a mindless killing machine. Maybe she was a vigilante in the night, but Damian wouldn't bother painting her with pretty brushes. She was Rose Nightshade. And she was sublime.

Damian's hand crept from the sharp cut of her jaw into her blonde hair, his fingers curling around the nape of her neck. "And I will always see you for you." There was a clear note of sincerity in his voice, the truth reverberating in the bare space between them. And then, there was none. The ghost of a question crossed Damian's eyes as he pressed his lips gently to Rose's, sealing his promise not to turn away.

Rozalina Antonina Nightshade

[Rozalina Antonina Nightshade]

July 29 2027
DAMIAN ANDREAS KARKAROFF

Rose didn't like the look in Damian's eyes. The look that just saw right through her and got underneath her skin. Those dark eyes staring into her heart and didn't fall to her intimidation or anger. It was a look that unsettled her. That told her no matter how hard she tried he'd never break. And the wild and violent emotions didn't know how to face this situation. Why? Why was he able to shake her so much?

She hadn't realized she was desperately waiting for his answer until he spoke those words. Hadn't realized she was holding her breath as that silence that had filled the void was replaced by his soft words. They were barely even a whisper, so quiet. But someone they felt like thunder. Rose wanted to call him a liar. Tell him he was wrong. Just telling her what she wanted to hear. But it would be her own lies. She hadn't realized what she'd even wanted to hear until he spoke. She didn't say anything, and she tried to hold that fierce expression but she could feel the rage cracking like ice. The raw emotions breaking through. The betrayal of the situation. Frustration. Guilt that she'd somehow left herself open to it. Even... fear. Rose would never admit she was afraid. But when the only place you felt safe was taken from you it could unsettle even the bravest of soul. Paranoia that something else might happen. And a loneliness that was always present inside her but never visible.

Why did Damian have to see her now? See her while she felt so raw and broken and couldn't hide anything? Why did he have to see through everything she tried? And somehow always break through every attempt to keep him at arm's length. The touch of his hand against her skin, moving to the back of her neck felt like electricity. And those same words, once again promising to see her. Her mind told her to pull away.. but her body didn't listen. "Then don't leave me alone right now..." she desperately breathed right before their lips met. Rose pulled herself closer and into his lap, the front of his shirt held tightly in her hands, as if he might slip away if she let go.

[DAMIAN ANDREAS KARKAROFF]

Despite her cracks and flaws and breaks, Damian wanted to see Rose for who she truly was. A human, a person just like the rest of them. One who dressed in dark armour and hid behind walls of ice and sarcasm, who acted with great thought and great weight. He wanted to know who she really was. There was a long silence between them as Rose searched his face, seeking out the lies that ultimately did not exist. Damian could see her now, raw and unburdened despite the ache she so obviously felt inside her.

"Then don't go away," he countered, his depthless gaze trained on her. When Damian finally kissed her, it was almost like a promise. That he would keep his eyes open and see the truth and accept it beyond face value. It started out sweet at first, before lighting like a fire and consuming them both. His hands were everywhere, in her hair, tracing smooth lines of her skin, slipping under her clothes, drawing her ever nearer. All the time, Damian didn't break away from her mouth, drinking her in like she was the antidote to a poison and he was a dying man. Rose shifted onto his lap, eliciting a groan as he moved beneath her, needing more and more. Needing it all.

[end...?]
Rozalina Antonina Nightshade