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Lyra Horváth
OWNER OF 96th AT THE SHARD DURMSTRANG DROPOUT PROFESSIONAL DUELLIST WEREWOLF DUELING MASTERY
255 posts
played by Dra
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last online Nov 10, 2024 15:25:41 GMT -7
INACTIVE
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Jan 16, 2023 15:08:04 GMT -7
Post by Lyra Horváth on Jan 16, 2023 15:08:04 GMT -7
Silence had settled over Lyra. The incredible bout of energy that always followed after her transformation was starting to seep away. This was about the time she usually bugged Rob to order Ubereats in, so they could settle down in bed and binge Netflix. Maybe it was coming slightly sooner, she supposed, but she put that down to her poor management of symptoms in the run-up to the full moon. If Rob hadn't shown up with the Awarewolf she was sure she'd be in much worse of a state, but she had definitely been better. Watching him quietly she nodded slowly, seeing no point in arguing with his position on the matter. Shifting from foot to foot awkwardly, she wasn't sure what to say in response. She felt like a naughty child being scolded, one that knew they had done the deed they were being reprimanded for. And yet it felt so much worse. In the end she said nothing and instead moved to sit down on the ground on one of the pieces of tarpaulin that kept the place dry. They were useless really. The builders' wards kept out the rain, making it easier to work that way. The tarpaulin was mostly just out of tradition, but sometimes it came in use. Like now, Lyra dropped her gaze for a moment and focused on tracing the edge with a set of lithe fingers while her other hand rubbed at her nose and eyes to try and get the crying under control. A few seconds later she looked up to see his gaze shifting around the foundations. With an involuntary flinch she mentally prepared herself for another tongue-lashing about keeping things from him. "It was meant to be a surprise.." she began quietly, glancing away from him again and around the building materials. "I was planning on unveiling it at Christmas. Or giving it to you as a present I don't know. I thought we could spend it together there. Just us. Since family time didn't go quite so well last year. Maybe have a party for the New Year or something. Then they said during the summer it might be done sooner and I thought we could have a big bonfire over there for Halloween.." silently gesturing to the clearing yonder, she shrugged it off "Or something I don't know....I thought it would be a nice way to spend forever. Us and....others" trailing off, she looked down again and furrowed her brow as she tugged at a stray piece of plastic stitching. She definitely didn't need to see his reaction to that. To what she had hinted at without meaning to get into. "It's safe here. Thanks to the wards. Nobody comes this deep into the forest either I guess. Muggle or otherwise..." her voice was quiet as she rambled on pointlessly. Grasping at straws now, she clutched onto small bits of conversation to try and focus herself. It wasn't easy, the more her energy leeched out of her, but it was still worth the effort. She didn't know what else to say or do right then. Things were stilted now. The anger and tension mostly gone from the air, but she wasn't quite sure what they had been replaced with, if anything. The fight had gone out of her now, her mind nor heart was in it and she wasn't quite sure what else to say. EPKE ROBERTUS OPPEDYK
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EPKE ROBERTUS OPPEDYK
POTIONEER AT SLUG & JIGGERS BEAUXBATONS ALUM POTIONS MASTERY WEREWOLF ORDER OF MERLIN - SECOND CLASS
262 posts
played by ana
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last online Nov 19, 2024 3:59:04 GMT -7
WIZARDING ADULT
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Jan 17, 2023 5:14:33 GMT -7
Post by EPKE ROBERTUS OPPEDYK on Jan 17, 2023 5:14:33 GMT -7
A surprise. Everything with Lyra was meant to be a surprise. A shock to the system. Rob tried to muster up his disgruntlement, but all he felt now was drained. Obviously, Lyra was dealing with quite a few things. He knew he hadn’t helped, but both were to blame for their own atrocities. If only they knew how to effectively communicate with one another. Lyra wouldn’t feel abandoned. Rob wouldn’t feel frustrated. These strange series of events had pushed him away from Lyra, despite the bond that tied them together. Even with the bond, Rob couldn’t deny how he felt about both Lyra and Sienna. It had him wondering if there really was such a thing as destiny.
Rob remained silent as Lyra explained how this place could have been their future. It only solidified his confusion. He so desperately wanted this future with Lyra - but after everything they’d been through, was it just a dashed hope? Was his adoration and love for Lyra only a direct casualty of this otherworldly bond they shared? Rob liked to believe that even without this bond, he would still love Lyra. But there was no way to be certain. And wasn’t his indisputable connection with Sienna reason to believe that it was all because of some ancient magic?
There was no way to answer any of these theoreticals, all these what ifs. Rob had a choice to make. He loved Sienna, and he loved Lyra. His love for Sienna was born of a lifetime of friendship and support, and though his relationship with Lyra was due to the bond, he couldn’t deny the depth of which his feelings went. ”If it wasn’t for the bond, would we have ever found each other?” asked Rob at last. ”It’s a theoretical question, but it holds so much weight. How much have our lived been changed by this? Would you love me without it?” asked Rob, his chest constricting as guilt outweighed every other emotion. ”I love you. I know I do. But I don’t know if I would have loved you or even found you if not for the bond.” Rob stopped himself before he mentioned Sienna. He knew that would only make it worse - would make Lyra feel like she was his second choice.
But that was the crux of the issue, wasn’t it? Rob didn’t know what could have been - only what happened when he was faced with the hard choices. And he always seemed to choose Sienna.
Lyra Horváth
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Lyra Horváth
OWNER OF 96th AT THE SHARD DURMSTRANG DROPOUT PROFESSIONAL DUELLIST WEREWOLF DUELING MASTERY
255 posts
played by Dra
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last online Nov 10, 2024 15:25:41 GMT -7
INACTIVE
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Jan 17, 2023 8:55:50 GMT -7
Post by Lyra Horváth on Jan 17, 2023 8:55:50 GMT -7
Rob's silence in response immediately didn't sit well with her. He was thinking too hard about things and while she didn't know what he was thinking about; she knew they obviously weren't things he could speak about freely. Another stir of nausea ran through her gut as her stomach flipped again. Surprisngly, nothing to do with the full moon this time. Had he really nothing to say about the home she had wanted to build for them? The life she had seen them living together? Moving her focus to look at him again, she wanted to ask what he was thinking of. To find out why he was so quiet and alone in his thoughts. But she was able to see by the set of his jaw line and his body language that it was nothing good. Did she really want to open up a can of worms in that way? In the end she stayed quiet, unsure of what else to say. Casting her eyes downward, she decided it was easier for now to leave him alone with his thoughts. She had said all she could for now. Offered up all the explanation she thought she needed to give. Unfortunately it just didn't seem enough. Worries were cemented with Rob's next turn of phrase. The somersaults her stomach were doing were multiplied when he asked about the bond. With a small shake of her head she looked up at him again. It was difficult but she tried to smile through the tears she felt gathering again. "No. I firmly believe that's what drew me back to London. I didn't really have any other reason to come. Whether it be the bond, or fate, I'm not sure. But you are the reason I was pulled back there." As he went on, and she picked apart what he was saying, her chest tightened. Her heart was breaking as she felt the life she'd built for herself over the past year slipping away from her. She'd never dealt well with her emotions, ever since she was a child it had led to outbursts of magic in the only way her body knew how to deal with it. She wasn't sure if that was the reason her breath rate was speeding up, or the cold chill she was feeling coming over her despite the growing summer sun high in the sky. Desperately, she tried to grasp onto whatever inch of self-control she possessed. when she spoke again, she still clung onto that, forcing her breath and voice even "But of course I'd love you without it. The fact you're even asking that..." searching his face, she thought about despite the rough times they'd had, of all the happy times they'd had together. They were home to her when she hadn't any. Rob's words were like a knife in the chest. The physical distance between them made it even worse. Any other situation she would have stood up and mustered whatever strength she had to cross the room to him and curl into him; search out the comfort. But something was different now. There was an invisible wall between them now. She stayed where she was. "But I don't think your answer would be the same. You doubt this whole thing we have." looking away, she was now trying her best to control herself, her voice only growing softer, more tender. "To you there's something else. Someone else. There must be, that's the only reason. Or I'd like to think so. Maybe you're just sick of me I don't know. Maybe I wouldn't blame you.." She never thought in a million years, during all the good times they'd had; all the happy full moons they'd spent together that he would doubt what they had. But now the reality of their twisted fate was hitting and she wasn't quite sure how to cope with the rejection of it. This seemed to be the end of them, the best her life had been in a long time. EPKE ROBERTUS OPPEDYK
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EPKE ROBERTUS OPPEDYK
POTIONEER AT SLUG & JIGGERS BEAUXBATONS ALUM POTIONS MASTERY WEREWOLF ORDER OF MERLIN - SECOND CLASS
262 posts
played by ana
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last online Nov 19, 2024 3:59:04 GMT -7
WIZARDING ADULT
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Jan 17, 2023 12:08:14 GMT -7
Post by EPKE ROBERTUS OPPEDYK on Jan 17, 2023 12:08:14 GMT -7
Lyra spoke of fate and Rob held back a scoff. It would do him no good now, and he didn't want to start up another fight. This whole situation, the terrible hole in his chest while being away from Lyra, it served only to confuse him further. And the more Rob thought on it, the more Rob resented it. His free will being taken away all in the name of some ancient magic that no one had seen hide nor hare of in centuries. There was no record of it at all before because the bond hadn't snapped into place for anyone in living memory. And yet here he was, torn.
"There's no such thing as fate," said Rob quietly. "We choose our own paths. I want to choose this - this life here, with our privacy and our little pups running around doing your head in. I want that all. But why was I put in your path? This bond... it takes away our free will. But you and I can never know if we would have found each other without it. And that unsettles me," said Rob. If this hadn't happened, Rob wasn't sure where he would be in life. Surely he would have followed his sister to the UK. He had missed her terribly. Was he drawn to London for Lyra, not even for his own sister?
"We can never know the what ifs," he repeated, tearing his gaze from Lyra to pass over the foundations of what could have been - or what still could be. Rob knew he had to muse on this. He exhaled sharply as Lyra went on. He held up a hand. "Don't. Don't assume you know what I think. How I feel." There was no vitriol in his voice, only the chilling truth. "This is bigger than you and me. This is about our bond. About how you nor I can ever know what we would choose because we didn't get the chance. Don't you see? If I had never been bitten, if you had never been bitten... if we hadn't been cursed would we be blessed? You can't know and I can't know. There's no timeline where we aren't forced together by the bond." Rob knew that his mind had been muddled with their seemingly endless cycle of happiness and sorrow. Somehow, the bad times stuck more firmly in his mind. Rob didn't think that his relationship with Sienna had much to do with this at all - it was more a question of him being able to choose what he wanted rather than be forced into it.
Rob watched Lyra in silence for a long time. "I'm not sick of you. I am sick that I looked for you for weeks. That I could barely function without you. Sure I missed you as a person, as I miss my father, as I miss Gus. But I also missed you with an ache that nearly killed me. You chose that. And you weren't the one to put me back together. That was Sienna."
Lyra Horváth
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Lyra Horváth
OWNER OF 96th AT THE SHARD DURMSTRANG DROPOUT PROFESSIONAL DUELLIST WEREWOLF DUELING MASTERY
255 posts
played by Dra
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last online Nov 10, 2024 15:25:41 GMT -7
INACTIVE
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Jan 17, 2023 13:27:31 GMT -7
Post by Lyra Horváth on Jan 17, 2023 13:27:31 GMT -7
While there was no vitriol in his voice, Lyra found no comfort in it. Every word was like a stake in her chest. Every puncture making her feel worse. For her, while yes it was true the bond sort of had forced them together, it upset her more that Rob was so against it. It had confused her at first, but she'd settled into loving him so well. She hadn't seen it as the universe taking away her free will in some fucked up way; in her mind it was in fact giving her something good and worth living for, after the utter shit she had been dealt with up until then. He said he loved her, and wanted to choose her. But then why was he making it so difficult? She agreed there was no point in dwelling on what ifs, but there wasn't a need to. They just would be together surely, but the way she was hearing it things wouldn't end that way. Rob didn't want to be forced. Then she wouldn't force him. Listening to him, she sat in silence and something shifted in her; this was it. A stillness came over her and she realised there was no point anymore. The tightness remained in her chest, only worsened when he went on to explain he had only missed her as he missed his parents or his friends. The mention of Sienna made her stiffen, and she swallowed. Her heart was well and truly broken. "Okay." With a slow nod she said eventually, her tone quiet and almost eerily calm. Stretching to the right, she set a hand on the handle of her tatty rucksack and swallowed again. After a moment in the quiet, she realised the universe had fucked her over again and taken it away all again. Defeated she pushed herself to stand and brushed her skirt off. She felt like she should be crying, but there was nothing left to cry. She was hollow. Defeat showed on her emaciated face, as she bit down on her lip thinking for a moment just how to say what was on the tip of her tongue. "I won't force anything anymore then. Go and choose. Don't force anything. Be with Sienna. She can take the pain away enough it seems. Let her put you back together, again. I'll be around London. I'll be safe. Don't look for me." It devastated her to say the words out loud, and that was when the tears came again. Except it was unlikely that Rob would have seen it as she had already separated away. EPKE ROBERTUS OPPEDYK
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EPKE ROBERTUS OPPEDYK
POTIONEER AT SLUG & JIGGERS BEAUXBATONS ALUM POTIONS MASTERY WEREWOLF ORDER OF MERLIN - SECOND CLASS
262 posts
played by ana
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last online Nov 19, 2024 3:59:04 GMT -7
WIZARDING ADULT
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Jan 17, 2023 13:48:30 GMT -7
Post by EPKE ROBERTUS OPPEDYK on Jan 17, 2023 13:48:30 GMT -7
"That's not what I'm saying, Lyra," said Rob in frustration. But it didn't matter. Once Lyra had something stuck in her mind, there was no changing it. It didn't matter that Rob had suffered from their separation, or that he had missed her. Once he mentioned Sienna's name, there was nothing else to it. He opened his mouth to present an argument of sane mind to Lyra, but it was too late. She had disapparated. Gone. Taking a piece of his soul with him. Maybe just for a little while. Or maybe for longer.
Forever.
[end]
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