curtain call [rhys]

[EPKE ROBERTUS OPPEDYK]

Mid November 2027

Two months of silence. Rob had gotten used to the empty flat. Or so he told himself every time he entered and expected to find Lyra there. How had things gone so wrong so quickly? Weren’t they meant to be mates? Whatever that even meant? Rob hadn’t expected things to be perfect with Lyra - they’d had their differences. But as the months wore on, the differences seemed to be more stark, and they were doing more arguing than they were agreeing. He’d thought the bond would fix their fundamental differences, but he’d been wrong. It hadn’t fixed anything. It had instead thrown a wrench into an already broken and somewhat toxic relationship.

Rob had had a lot of time to spend with his thoughts lately. He hadn’t been going out, and had elected to work on his potions from home, just to give himself some headspace. Being around Sienna at the moment would do nothing for his sanity. Rob thought about all the times he knew he’d made Lyra feel small and unappreciated. It had been his own callousness. But he had also remembered all the times Lyra had made him question his own beliefs, made him rethink his words before speaking them in order to save her from offence. The number of times he had apologised without knowing what he’d done wrong. How many times Rob had dismissed Lyra for being too sensitive and weak willed.

They’d both made their mistakes, and had to face the reality that even though they were bonded, they were not fated for a healthy relationship. While Rob missed Lyra, he knew she would land on her feet. He couldn’t attribute her healing to himself. She had done that on her own. Perhaps he had supported her, but Lyra was the woman she was because of her own strengths. Rob wished Lyra no ill will. But he wasn’t sure the sentiment was returned.

Lyra had sent back the dosage of Aware Wolf that he’d sent her. Rob just wanted to make sure that she was taking care of herself, not spiralling. He didn’t want her to regress. Rob knew that she avoided the places that he frequented, so he didn’t bother trying to look for her. Each day was easier - ignoring the clawing sensation in his chest. The missing bit of him which was his mate.

Rob elected to mull over his issues in the best way he knew how - over an obscene number of pints in the pub. Rob had texted Rhys, opting for a neutral location so they could talk about everything. Rob didn’t want any of their dirty laundry to be overheard by their fellow wizarding folk, so an old pub in Hackney was Rob’s locale of choice. Ordinarily, he wouldn’t step foot in East London, but he was in dire straights.

rhys alexander greyback

[rhys alexander greyback]

and love is just a camouflage

for what resembles rage again

Mid-November 2027
EPKE ROBERTUS OPPEDYK

Unsurprisingly, Rhys had already begun his own spiral before receiving the text from Rob. And as much as he felt perfectly comfortable on his usual spot on his couch, he forced himself up and out. Most people in his life disapproved of his close relationship with alcohol, but they didn’t understand. How could they? Their minds were not buzzing with nonstop thoughts. Thoughts that only grew in power if he didn’t stop them in any way he could. That buzz and the warm feeling were soothing in that sense and far better than that cold and numb feeling that would eventually wash over him if he didn’t stop it.

But they didn’t meet at one of their usual haunts. They’d visited plenty, but it was a bit more out of the way. You went to one of those places on purpose so you could avoid certain things. Rhys knew Rob’s situation was difficult. Despite everything going on in his mind, the idea of Vasilia ignoring him so coldly made him stop breathing. In either case, things had felt a little off balance. Like trying to walk in a straight line, but the floor was just slightly slanted, and maybe you’d had a few pints before. And just because it wasn’t a new sensation didn’t mean it was ever comfortable.

Rhys entered the pub, quickly spotting his friend’s equally tall and broad frame, and Rhys took a seat. Habitually he placed his phone on the table, the screen indicating several unread messages. Messages from people he wanted close, and yet he wanted to be left alone. Or people whose mere existence pulled at his heartstrings. ”Haven’t seen you around.” Rhys muttered merely as an observation. The full moon had passed a few days before, but Rhys hadn’t seen Rob when he’d gone for his Aware Wolf—only meeting a very busy Sienna. But Rhys wasn’t one to pry. Sienna did enough of that for the both of them, but he only reminded himself that she cared about both of them. And Si didn’t know what Rob had told him, and he didn’t bring it up, but Rhys knew that feeling was a heavy burden when ignored.

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[EPKE ROBERTUS OPPEDYK]

Rob had spent much the past few months on his ones. He couldn't bear the thought of talking to anyone - his heart just wasn't in living anymore. But as each day passed, the heaviness in his chest lifted, and the knowledge that settled in its place that maybe this was for the best calmed him. He couldn't begin to understand the bond - or why he'd been mated to Lyra when at the end of the day they were just two opposite people. Maybe fate thought opposites attracted, but reality didn't work like that.

The effort required to text Rhys was more than usual, but less trying than Rob had expected. There was a flicker of excitement in him as he made his way to East London the muggle way. The time on the clattering tube and walking cleared his mind. He was able to think of other things rather than his dire circumstances. Rob stepped into the dimly lit bar, and sat at the bar. He ordered two double whiskies, knowing that Rhys would appreciate it.

Rhys muttered a muted greeting, and Rob nodded in response. The bartender placed the two glasses of whisky before Rob, who scrounged up a few quid to pay. He took a deep drink from his glass, and sighed. "Rhys, what the fuck is fate?" asked Rob, turning his attention to his friend. The one friend he could trust to understand the pain he was in. The one who had his demons just as dark as Rob. The person he trusted without feeling romantically inclined. Rob couldn't even bear to think her name, considering the state he'd left the shop in. His guilt was heavy, but his melancholy was unbearable. "I don't even know what to think anymore. Or how to think. Or what to do. I'm so... lost." Rob paused to take another deep drink.

"I broke the bond."

rhys alexander greyback

[rhys alexander greyback]

and love is just a camouflage

for what resembles rage again

Mid-November 2027
EPKE ROBERTUS OPPEDYK

What was fate? Fate was the bartender putting a glass of whiskey before him as he sat down. Then again, one could say even Rob found Rhys that predictable. How much of fate was just one’s subconscious needs reaching out behind their masks? Rhys didn’t answer immediately, opting to drink from his glass first. He recalled that woman from a few years back. She was kind, but not even the gentleness of her voice could soften the blow dealt by her words. And every time he looked at Charlotte, he was reminded again. Children. The idea still frightened him. Even though Rhys slowly transformed into a cliché. A man—a father who couldn’t imagine life without their child.

But multiple was still a terrifying prospect. And especially when his next natural thought was with who? Rhys would never admit out loud that he didn’t know the definite answer to that question. Besides, he’d bet galleons Maria was not interested in pregnancy again. Rhys shrugged lightly, looking over. ”Fate…is cruel.” Or maybe it was just like luck. Something just out of reach for some but so close that their fingertips could graze it. All these things about ‘manifesting’ what you want and just ‘staying positive’ were just false platitudes for the hopeless. At least Rhys could admit that he was just floating with the current at this point.

But Rhys didn’t speak again. Rob was clearly in a deeper hole than he was. It was still odd to find someone so different and yet so similar—another part of the pack who was hurting. But Rhys tried not to look so quickly at Rob. He recalled his last words one day, that Rob needed to deal with the bond situation. His extensive experience as Cursebreaker taught him that some magic was too powerful to understand so simply, but not all powerful magic was permanent. Still, these things loomed so large that their departure left a void. ”I’m sorry it didn’t work out.” Rhys said after a beat.

If Vasilia had taught him anything, it was people just needed someone to listen at times. Now, how often Rhys followed this advice was an entirely different matter. But with or without the bond, Rhys knew the pain of a breakup. Let alone a breakup with someone who reached far past one’s walls. Five years later, he never forgot that pain. It surely didn’t help a full moon had just passed a few days before. ”Don’t blame yourself, mate.” Rhys drank more whiskey. ”These things just don’t work out sometimes.” Rhys had always appreciated the duplicity of those words. On the one hand, they were true. Rhys knew certain things were not his fault, and yet he carried that guilt and shame around. On the other hand, why take the blame at this point? Rhys flagged down the bartender, they were going to need another round.

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[EPKE ROBERTUS OPPEDYK]

Rob's question was meant to be open ended, but Rhys' response resounded with him. It was cruel, fate. It had to be. How could it have offered him Lyra, dangled her in front as his perfect match in every way (allegedly), then spark their differences into a raging inferno. They'd had plenty of disagreements in the past sure, but Rob knew that was normal for any relationship. It just seemed that their fundamental differences were too much.

Rhys said nothing for a long while, and Rob drank deeply from his whisky glass. He wanted the company, and he wanted to talk. But at the same time, Rob wanted neither. He wanted to hole himself up back in his flat, the one he'd once shared with Lyra. There were memories of her everywhere. Should he move? Rob couldn't quite bear to close the door completely. So he hung in stasis, unsure of how to proceed. Rhys ground out an apology, and Rob nodded slightly. What more was there to say? Rob had broken the bond with Lyra, frayed it so it probably could never be whole again. The ache in his chest spoke of the absence he felt. But again, was it not the right thing to do? They were too different to work out. They wanted such different things.

"Isn't the point of this bond that it's supposed to work out no matter what?" asked Rob in a rough voice, signalling for another whisky as he finished. He scrubbed his hands over his face, groaning. "I feel like this stupid magic has made things more complicated. Or maybe I'm just not cut out for relationships," he added, glaring at the bar before him. "How did you know? That you were ready to settle down with Vas? That she was the one?"

rhys alexander greyback

[rhys alexander greyback]

and love is just a camouflage

for what resembles rage again

Mid-November 2027
EPKE ROBERTUS OPPEDYK

Rhys had traveled the world and seen and learned about so many different types and levels of magic. Things that were recent and things that were very old. Much didn’t overlap but what Rhys could say was it was never that simple. The need for his field of highly trained individuals would not be necessary if it were. And as much as Rhys wanted to do the thoughtful thing and let Rob vent and process his thoughts, much as Rhys’ friends did for him, he couldn’t stop himself from speaking. ”It's not a love potion, Rob.” The bond was not something Rhys understood well, and he’d kept an eye out for any writings or research as he traveled from place to place, but not much had stood out. Either way, magic didn’t create fairy tales. There were no such things.

The only genuinely fantastical part of their little world was people’s delusions. And if not the stories they told the world, at least the stories they told themselves. A person could walk the world myopically and become ignorant of the dangers around them. Rhys was acutely aware of this. His own experiences in letting his guard fall down—left him in pain. Magic was never that simple, much like everyday life. Still, only proved Rhys’ point that it was all so cruel. Why push two people together who only created destruction. It was like potions gone wrong, which Rhys had seen before.

For a very quick millisecond, Rhys felt himself freeze. But his glass made its way to his lips, where he drained the contents of his drink. It wasn’t the first time the question had been asked, yet his brain found it difficult to form any cohesive answer. The bartender brought them new drinks, which gave Rhys a few extra seconds to think. ‘The One’ was such a loaded statement, wasn’t it? One that made Rhys feel nervous and fidgety. ”I don’t know, I just…” Rhys chewed on the inside of his lip slightly. What was the difference between falling in love again at twenty-five rather than sixteen? Well, a lot had occurred in between. His mind spiraled back over the past decades, it was all linked, but Rhys couldn’t see the big picture.

”I’m a risk taker for a living.” It was an answer…sort of. But what was Rhys good at if not deflecting? He went for a sip of whiskey, which quickly became half the glass. Leaning forward, he stared at the glass still in his hand a bit in front of his face. ”Some people will just get under your skin.” In his experience, this also extended to platonic relationships. ”And you don’t even know.” The easy way people slipped behind one’s walls and the panic when you realized the intrusion. But they told you it was fine, and then you felt okay. It was all a risk. Walking into that cellar that day and saying what was on his mind had been frightening. Although just like then as he did now, Rhys knew he’d walked into a risky situation, not at one hundred percent. Like walking into a dangerous tomb under the stands but with unhealed injuries. One thing for sure was that nobody was ever ready for these things.

His mind wandered to more than one place, and he also wondered about the difference between love and loneliness. Did he love Vas? Of course. But his heart had never stopped beating when she looked at him from across a crowded room. Finally, he put his glass down—uncertainty filling his core. His phone vibrated in his pocket, and he pulled it out, a habit in case it was about Charlotte. But in fact, it was not. And as the muggles say, speak of the devil… And for a second, he hesitated before putting his phone away. Who knew small talk with an ex-girlfriend could be so unnerving. Clearing his throat, Rhys tried to regain his mental balance. ”I don’t think it's ever possible to know. Not that you ever forget about them in any case.”

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[EPKE ROBERTUS OPPEDYK]

Rob's stomach curdled unpleasantly, already revolting against the two drinks he'd had. But Rob paid no attention to his body - he knew deep down he needed to take care of himself, but he couldn't summon the energy to do so. To eat. To sleep. To bathe. When these things happened, they did so mechanically, as if he was having an out of body experience. To silence the gurgle in his belly, Rob polished off another glass of whisky. Anything to numb the dull roar in his head.

At Rhys' reply, Rob knew he wasn't explaining how he was feeling properly. How could he put it to words? He hardly understood it himself. "The effects of a love potion wear off with time. Why does this still hurt?" asked Rob weakly, lowering his head momentarily onto the sticky bar counter. The bartender breezed over and tapped him on the shoulder, shaking his head. Rob straightened, chastised, blushing. Rhys stumbled over his words about the one, which Rob didn't notice at first. He didn't notice the hesitation in his friend's voice, or the indecision in his eyes. Later, when Rob would return to this memory (however fuzzy), he would discern that Rhys was in a rather sticky place and that he ought to pay closer attention to his friends. But for now, Rob sulked at the failure of his own relationship.

Snorting derisively, Rob gave Rhys an aggressive glare. "That sounds like major bullshit and you know it. You're a risk taker for a living. What does treasure hunting have to do with love?" asked Rob acerbically, wincing at the sharpness of his own tone. He softened, giving Rhys an apologetic look. He was all over the place. "Sienna has been under my skin since day one. Fifteen years," Rob grumbled, turning his glare to his whisky. He didn't think the bartender would give him another. Probably for the best, as his head was definitely already feeling a bit wobbly. Rhys' phone went off and he peered at it. Rob nearly wanted to weep. He'd hardly had a text in weeks, mostly due to his own reclusive spiral. "You're too popular for me," Rob lamented. He turned to the bartender and smartly asked for some water. "Rhys, when will we get our heads out of our asses and realise that there is no one you can trust but yourself?"

rhys alexander greyback

[rhys alexander greyback]

and love is just a camouflage

for what resembles rage again

Mid-November 2027
EPKE ROBERTUS OPPEDYK

Rhys remembered that pain. That sense of hopelessness and guilt. Regret spreading to one’s fingertips as if recreating all those fights in his mind would change their outcome. He didn’t envy Rob at the moment. Rhys hadn't been close to Lyra, not that he knew anyone that was. Sure, he’d tried for the sake of harmony and werewolf solidarity. But honestly, Rhys had felt like the third wheel if Vas wasn’t around like he’d been intruding. It was uncomfortable for someone so acutely aware of their surroundings like Rhys. However, if you asked some people, they might doubt how aware he was.

He hoped that was a rhetorical question. And Rhys couldn’t deny the ridiculous of his answer. He’d rather jump into an unknown hole in the desert, risking certain death, than the simpler things. How many times had he stood in that doorway, and all he had to do was step through for something completely different? A few times, he’d done it, and the result had been wonderful, but only for him to end up back at square one and in pain. He couldn’t do anything about Rob’s pain except buy him more whiskey. That was all Rhys knew how to do anyway.

”Risk and reward.” Rhys found himself muttering. Did he even believe that? Those precious moments after finding that connection with someone was addicting. But these days, Rhys struggled to remember what it felt like. Why was love so fucking difficult? Rob’s comment about Sienna made him pause. Not because it was about Sienna. He’d accept that after he realized that drunken conversation was not a figment of his imagination. ”It's nothing…” Quickly, he put his phone away. It could wait. Rhys stuck with whiskey as Rob asked for water. He’d had a head start on Rhys. ”Do you?” Rhys found himself asking. ”Trust yourself?” He glanced over tentatively.

He was hardly the wisest one, but Rhys had learned at least one thing after finding love and a family, and trust was a large component of that. After a beat, he spoke again, hoping he could accurately share his thought. ”I spent most of my life alone. Trust me. You don’t want that.” Rhys looked forward, pausing again before draining his glass. While trust was not so easily handed out, Rhys learned to trust a few friends, his siblings, and the mother of his child. And despite all his doubt, he trusted Vasilia even though he held back so much from her. Rhys felt that Rob would move on from Lyra. While one never entirely lost that love from someone, he wasn’t sure how the bond played into it. Maybe it would completely go away. But with the information he had, Rhys got the sense that the bond was some fake sense of destiny rather than trusting someone enough to let them see your soul. Words were never Rhys’ strength, but he hoped Rob knew that he was on his side.

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[EPKE ROBERTUS OPPEDYK]

Rather than help draw Rob out of his hole, Rhys' advice served only to burrow him deeper. "Is that all it is?" asked Rob, his tone edging on desperation. He wanted an easy way out, something to stop this unending suffering, the gaping hole left in his heart with Lyra's absence. But the knowledge remained that it was for the best. He would miss her, he would pine for her, but he hadn't been right for her. Rob kept reminding himself of the fundamental differences between them. Lyra needed someone good - someone more pliable and less stubborn. He couldn't be that for her.

Rob said nothing for a long moment, letting it draw out and settle over them like a blanket. "I don't know," he admitted. "I thought everything was settled, and if not easy, then at least right. And then... well, it wasn't." He took a deep drink of his water, polishing it off in two gulps. Surely the bartender would be happier with him now. Even if Rob was feeling sadder than ever.

"I'd rather be alone than broken," Rob countered, finally looking over at Rhys. He almost said that Rhys had done just fine on his own - and that he'd never truly been lonely with a different girl warming his bed each night. But that wasn't exactly true, was it? Sometimes the loneliest moments where when you were in a room full of people. "No. I take it back. I just... how can something hurt like this? How do you come back from heartbreak?" asked Rob. "Do you think I did the right thing? Breaking the bond? Or should I have stuck it out... tried harder... narrowed my focus... left the shop... cut Sienna out..." Rob cringed as he thought aloud - he couldn't bear the idea of cutting Sienna out of his life. She'd been a constant for so long. But he knew that Sienna was part of the problem - Lyra had been rightfully wary of her. At the end of the day, Rob had been faced with a choice. Who he couldn't survive without.

rhys alexander greyback

[rhys alexander greyback]

and love is just a camouflage

for what resembles rage again

Mid-November 2027
EPKE ROBERTUS OPPEDYK

The more Rob lamented his failed relationship, the more he felt eternally grateful that no magical werewolf bond existed in his life. He struggled enough with purpose. Rhys didn’t need that added pressure from the fates. It felt like some kind of curse. Something ancient and hidden only to be discovered by some unlucky Cursebreaker or thief one day. He thought of his experiences the summer before last and how it still didn’t feel real, yet seeing a memory so vividly brought back every feeling like submerging oneself in ice water.

Rhys’s jaw tightened, and his body tensed for a moment. He was tempted to grab Rob by his shirt collar and shake him until he dug himself out of his hole—what did he know of loneliness? The man might have been heartbroken and adrift but had he ever felt like he existed but didn’t matter? But he forced himself to relax. Snapping at Rob wouldn’t do either of them any good. And as Vasilia had yelled at him once, how could Rhys blame others for the information he never shared? At least Rob finally asked a question Rhys felt like he could answer.

He sighed. What a ridiculous suggestion. ”I can’t imagine the sorry state you’d be in if you voluntarily cut Si out of your life.” Even before Rhys had noted their real-life bond and chemistry, he had seen them as a team. How else would any pair create such an innovation such as Aware Wolf? And that’s the thing, wasn’t it? A bond and a team—not just silly declarations of love like some dreamy-eyed schoolgirl. Maybe Rhys was too cynical for these things. As far as coming back from heartbreak…Rhys paused again to think. He tried to formulate his thought. Obviously, he thought Rob had done the right thing, even if the pain overtook everything.

”How can you feel happy when you’re obligated to be?” His tone wasn’t as strong as it could’ve been. But he thought of his own life being told how he should have been happy for the roof over his head or happy because you’re simple supposed to be when placed in a situation. How could Rob have been truly happy without his whole heart in something and merely because you are supposed to be happy in a relationship? In Rhys’ experience, that wasn’t how it worked. Rhys’ jaw tightened again as his words repeated in his mind. His brow furrowed in concentration as if he’d only decided to ask himself the question. ”I don’t think I moved for a solid week after…after Juniper.” Rhys admitted, a glass of water appearing before him. The whiskey he’d so quickly consumed left his head feeling blurry. But he remembered Nell physically dragging him out of his flat before that week turned into a month. In the end, he’d survived that, hadn’t he?

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[EPKE ROBERTUS OPPEDYK]

Growing more and more desperate, Rob even suggested cutting Sienna out of his life. But it was a laughable concept - it would be just as easy to lob his own head off. Sienna was a part of him whether he liked it or not. And there was no bond there - no forced choice. It brought him back to the exact question he'd asked Lyra, what had spiralled out of this whole mess at the very beginning. If not for the bond, would they have found each other? They could never be certain of the what ifs. But Rob was certain that magical bond or not, Sienna would always feature. And at the end of it all, Rob knew Sienna was the person he couldn't live without.

Frowning, Rob mused over Rhys' question. "How indeed," he echoed. Now that the booze had settled in his bloodstream, somehow things seemed clearer. The predicament that he had struggled with so long was his autonomy. Were the choices that he made shaped based on the fact that this strange phenomenon had happened to him? Would Rob have found Lyra, would they have had their happy months, if it wasn't for that? He knew with Sienna, he was fully in control of what they wanted from one another. A partnership. And as much as he had loved Lyra - and still did, of course - how much of that was out of his own hands. Rob ordered another drink, and the wary bartender delivered, though not without a word of warning that Rob waved away.

Rob's neck prickled with some inexplicable emotion at the mention of Juniper. He had never really met her, though he had heard some about her. About the sorry split between herself and Rhys. But Rhys had often spoken of her fondly, as one would of someone who had so grossly impacted their life. Rob turned to Rhys, noting for the first time the grim set of his face. He wasn't the only one with problems. "Have you spoken to her much recently?" asked Rob, his voice soft and careful like he was approaching a wounded animal. The sullen look in Rhys' eyes was like peering into a mirror. Of someone who had to choose who they could survive without.

rhys alexander greyback

[rhys alexander greyback]

and love is just a camouflage

for what resembles rage again

Mid-November 2027
EPKE ROBERTUS OPPEDYK

Rhys stared at the wall of liquor bottles in front of him, but his eyes were focused on nothing in the distance. His mind could wrap around this concept of this werewolf bond, and it wasn’t for lack of trying. He was a researcher, among all things. The dirty boots and trail of mud or sand in his wake distracted from the fact that Rhys was some kind of explorer and adventurer, but he loved to learn and pick apart puzzles until they made sense. People forgot about the Cursebreakers that left the field and worked in Museums, the Ministry, or other ventures where their knowledge and experience were valuable. The only parallel he could come up with was those years ago with Maria. The way she drew out this primal side of him. A side Rhys hardly knew was there because he was always so restrained and in control.

Well, as in control as someone with his temper could be. But finding someone to match that energy and not be overwhelmed had been…eye-opening. But Rhys hadn’t loved Maria, not in the way as with others. She would always hold a special place in his heart as the mother of his child and a kindred spirit in a world that left them abandoned. Rhys noted the bartender bringing Rob a glass, and he supposed his empty water glass had earned him another as well. Eye contact was made, and the man nodded without the warning Rob had received. At least for now. At this rate, between his thoughts and this conversation, Rhys knew sobriety was not an option for much longer.

Again, his body tensed for just a moment. Instinctively he felt defensive, a mild annoyance settling in his stomach. Rhys swallowed hard, grateful a glass of whiskey now sat before him. And as casually as he could, Rhys gave a light shrug and shook his head. ”Just some small talk here and there.” Which was the truth. A long gap of time had gone before their chance meeting in Diagon Alley toward the end of summer. ”We bumped into each a few months back. But we hadn’t spoken in…” Rhys brow furrowed in thought. ”I don’t know, two years?” He turned to look at Rob as he answered, then looked forward again and drank from his glass. A chance meeting and small talk shouldn’t be enough to rattle someone, yet he felt upside down.

Rhys supposed one reason he never went into the details was that the timeline wasn’t so straightforward. Yes, they’d broken up over five years ago now. But for one reason or another, they didn’t leave each other’s lives. She was there when Rhys was injured, and their best friend was killed. And when his brother, Elias, died, she’d also been there. And Merlin knew the introduction of cellular devices and messaging led their paths to cross again. Rhys gave another light shrug, processing his thoughts. ”Unless either of us leave London, I’m sure we’ll always bump into one another from time to time.” The magical community was a small world. Rhys drained his glass.

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[EPKE ROBERTUS OPPEDYK]

The moment of clarity washed away as if on a swift river filled with rapids and lots of rocks. Causing serious injury to his psyche, and bringing more questions than answered. Rob lifted his whisky to his lips, taking a deep drink. He'd noticed Rhys' demeanour, a haunted look about him that was so familiar to Rob. He wore it each time he looked himself in the mirror. Someone faced with a choice, one that would change their life for better or for worse. A choice that felt both right and wrong, difficult and easy. A choice to survive.

Juniper. It wasn't a name he'd heard in a while. Rob didn't know much about Rhys' ex girlfriend. "What does Vas think of her?" asked Rob, genuinely curious and eager to latch on to a topic that didn't involve his own sorrow filled life. "I mean... I know I'm going to see Lyra about." Rob cringed. "Actually, knowing how good she is at avoiding uncomfortable confrontations, I don't think I will..." he trailed off, taking a drink. What was his point again?

"Rhys, I don't think..." Rob started, but paused. Rhys wasn't looking for some unsolicited advice, especially not from someone as fucked up as he was. "Bollocks to what I think," he finished with a frown. "You know as well as I do that there are people in our lives we can't survive without. I don't know about Juniper. I don't know about bumping into one another. But I do know that look. And you don't have to choose. But it doesn't get easier," said Rob, not even making sense in his own head. "I just mean... fuck, I don't know what I mean. Don't let someone else steal your choices, I guess is what I'm saying."

rhys alexander greyback

[rhys alexander greyback]

and love is just a camouflage

for what resembles rage again

Mid-November 2027
EPKE ROBERTUS OPPEDYK

Rhys suddenly desperately wished his glass was full. And very full, at that. Why were they talking about him? Despite all his growth since his teen years, Rhys could never shake off that defensive feeling that only sat too eagerly on the side as he lived his life. Rhys genuinely paused as he pondered his answer to that likely crucial question and made eye contact with the bartender again. Rhys might have been a master of his craft, adept at charms, curses, counter-curses, and all related skills, but acting nonchalant was not one of them. ”I haven’t really…explained it all to her.” Rhys stared into the depths of the new glass placed before him. ”Vas—she knows I dated someone before—Juniper. And the breakup was hard for me.” That seemed to be the relevant details, and Vasilia hadn’t asked for more. She was never one to pry, never one to push. So, without that prod, nothing forced Rhys to explain the darker side of his mind.

But they both now seemed to have their own awkward and perhaps painful problem with the proximity of past loves. Honestly, if Rhys didn’t have family in London, plus his daughter, he likely would’ve moved by now. As Rhys contemplated sipping this glass or drinking it all at once, he was distracted by Rob’s words. Rhys looked at Rob, blinking a few times. A mixture of shock, doubt, and realization mixed into his expression. That’s not where Rhys was going with this…was it? ”What are you—“ His mouth closed. Rhys wasn’t upset or even angry, yet his heart hammered against his rib cage. A wave of denial flushed over him, but at the same time, a wave of what felt like hope.

He felt fidgety. Rhys could concede that he had downplayed the importance of Juniper’s role in his life. If only he could adequately explain what he knew to be true in his mind, how she had been his world and his rock. An anchor in a world that blatantly tried to reject him and push him into some other orbit. Rob spoke of choices, but Rhys had made his choices, and here they were. Rhys looked at his drink, sipping rather than dramatically draining it again. ”I don’t—“ He struggled to find the words, but in the end, he just let out a sigh from his nostrils, almost defeated. This was the part where he was supposed to let his anger flare and talk about Rob instead. ”I’ve made my choices, Rob.” If Rhys thought he had hurt from the breakup, it was nothing compared to the way he willingly walked away the following year. ”I’m happy with Vasilia. I love her.” Rhys looked at his friend. In his heart, Rhys knew what he felt for Vasilia was true, but it didn’t make any of the other things any less false.

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[EPKE ROBERTUS OPPEDYK]

Rob had, quite justifiably, latched onto a topic that didn't revolve around his current despondence. Though now that some level of awareness had returned to him, he did note the discomfort in Rhys' posture, the downward quirk of his brows. Surely the whole Juniper business was nothing big. Just a bit of a shock to the system. But why then, did Rob feel unsettled by the avoidant manner with which Rhys was referring to the situation.

As one does, Rob was certain he'd aggravated his friend in some way. Rhys struggled with what he wanted to say for a moment, and Rob felt immeasurably guilty. Why did he have to make Rhys suffer? It gave him no pleasure. Rob was about to open his mouth and brush the entire affair under the carpet when Rhys responded. And his reply gave Rob pause. It sounded exactly like the sort of thing Rob would say. What he had said. "I was happy with Lyra. I love her still." The rest of his meaning went unsaid. You could be happy and in love, but there was always the chance that something was not quite right. Rob wished he could have ignored the niggling sensation that had eventually wrought his relationship with Lyra apart. He wished he'd never been in love with two women of equal ferocity at the same time. He wished he'd never had to choose, because at least one heart would come out broken. In the end, no one was happy. Least of all him.

"I'm still wondering if I chose wrong. Do you ever wonder, Rhys?" asked Rob, turning his attention from his friend and training it on the flat screen telly in the corner, showing some random wrestling match. It must have been important, as Rob and Rhys were the only two patrons not completely engrossed. "You know, I heard this whole thing is a set up. They decide who wins beforehand and act it all out. Like, nothing's real at all," Rob mused, more to himself than anything. "Imagine that. Going through the motions like."

rhys alexander greyback