i'll be your mirror | nessa

[Nathaniel David Forrester]

now you see me.

THE ADDRESS WAS SCRAWLED MESSILY ON A torn piece of parchment paper. The ink bleeding where Nate had hastily pressed just a little too hard as he'd jotted it down. In his other hand he held a very carefully rolled scroll of parchment paperwork with the name Ms. Xiulan Zhou hanging from a red owl tag that tied it. Nate was not an owl, in fact he often bristled at the idea of delivering anything at the Ministry as an intern. This time, he had offered himself up when it had passed across the desk, with every intention of it being carted off to the owlery for delivery. He'd do it, he was in the area, familiar with the case. Liar, liar, liar.

Truth was, just two weeks prior Nate had seen the elusive, tall Xiulan float across the Ministry atrium. It hadn't been her graceful, pristine attire that had grabbed his interest, rather it had been the girl walking shortly beside her. Her steps heavy and a little out of sync as they often were. Standing out as she walked with her arms messily beside a person who, for all intents and purposes, seemed to skate airlessly across the ground. It had been Nessa. Unmistakeably Nessa.

Nate had not spoken, written, or consciously thought of Nessa in almost twelve months. They had not parted on the greatest of terms, and though he had initially attempted to maintain contact while she had been at Beauxbatons, it had trailed off. They had never made amends in time, which made their correspondence jilted and unnatural. Eventually, Nessa's owl's became scant one-liners with chilly French farewells and Nate couldn't bear the mortification of her disdain. They had ceased contact. He hadn't missed her at all, all was as it should be. And then he'd seen her buttery French plait from across the atrium and it had stalled him in place. He'd watched them Floo without a backwards glance. Nessa had wormed her way into his brain ever since and he couldn't get rid of her. What on earth was she up to? 

Xiulan Zhou was a mystic of some sort. That's what his co-worker had called her when he'd slipped the description into conversation over lunch. Receiving a salacious inquiry of whether he liked 'older women' when he had. Highly regarded and registered as a business owner and Ministry level recognised clairvoyant, from what Nate had been able to glean from her file once he had her name. The file hadn't been hard to pull, but Nate did not want to know what his boss would think of his inquiry should he find out. Some of her information had, after all, been redacted. Nate stopped asking questions at the Ministry.

His curiosity, soon enough, led him to Evy. Nate knew absently that she and Nessa had become somewhat friendly at Beauxbatons. He made a point not to ask, lest it get back to Ness and inflate her precious ego. Let her think she had won the bitter war of silence. He slipped it in over cocktails, leaning into Evy's side and wondering aloud why he'd seen Nessa with the mystic toff at the Ministry. Evy had seemed nonplussed, sipping from her smoking martini glass and telling him she'd heard Nessa was staying with her - maybe working for her? It was hard to tell. Nessa wasn't exactly known for being forthcoming.

It all led him to the columned townhouse in Belgarvia. Nate had passed two artisan coffee shops and a large window selling glistening muggle 'antiquities'. It was all very upper class. Nate tugged at the starched collar of his shirt. Dressed in his deep navy robes with the brass clasp sitting just so at his collarbone. He did not look too out of place, but he certainly felt it. He rang the bell incessantly, almost angry that he had to. He was going to confirm or deny his suspicions. What was Nessa doing with the psychic?, he wondered, the parchment wringing in his fist. How had she come up so rosy while he lived in borderline squalor? There was only one way to find out. His fingertip went white and bloodless as he pressed harder on the bell.

nessa abigael byrne

NEVERLAND at ADOXOGRAPHY 2.0!

[nessa abigael byrne]

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The last year had gone by quickly. Nessa still didn't know exactly what she was supposed to do with her life and constantly felt like she was intruding despite Xiulan being fine with it. Maybe it was a strange arrangement, but there had been enough odd jobs to somehow make it feel less like she was taking advantage of the woman and more like she was an assistant of sorts. That almost wasn't even the best way to describe it yet she lacked the words for it. Her social life somewhat suffered though, if there was ever such a thing to begin with. Beauxbatons had awarded her with a few friendly faces because of their shared experiences though she hadn't acted upon any of them since coming back to London. And then there was Nate.

Nessa didn't like calling it 'checking out' of their friendship because it was so much more complicated than that, but it also sort of was. She needed the year away from him and his piss-poor attitude, and hadn't found it in her to reach out just yet. What would she even say anyways? She wasn't sure if she even needed him back unless he'd changed. Their last few conversations in person (and their final year at school together) had been icy at best. Nessa had laid out her boundaries and she felt like he still crossed them on a multitude of levels. According to the few people she'd told of this, she handled the whole thing in a mature manner. That was a word she'd only heard once or twice in her life: mature.

Seeing Nate standing in the other side of the door after the bell was being aggressively rung wasn't exactly what she expected. There were enough wrong deliveries and the likes even in this neighborhood that she wasn't completely surprised by it at first. But to see him right there after all this time? Nessa hesitated to open the door. "What do you want?" she yelled back through the closed door. Wouldn't it have been easier to just walk away and pretend like she didn't live there?

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[Nathaniel David Forrester]

now you see me.

NATE FELT LIKE A DOG LEFT OUT IN THE RAIN. Rocking back on his heels, his finger still braced just above the doorbell like he might press it again, just out of spite. The inside door of that precious little palace had pulled open. It was not the tall, elegant figure of Ms. Zhou that answered him, but Nate had expected that. In fact, he had anticipated that. He hadn't, after all, really come to see Zhou to begin with. Perhaps she had foreseen that, but that thought alone was just for Nate's bitter entertainment.

Nessa stood behind the class of the main door, as if frozen in time. She looked neither pleased, nor unhappy to see Nate. In fact, her face was in stasis, frighteningly blank. She looked the same, her blond hair pulled back from a pale, freckled face. Her mouth stern and straight, chin jutting out in defiance, even at rest. He felt something stretch somewhere deep in his chest and he cleared his throat, like it was an unwanted wad of phlegm. He felt anger simmering somewhere under his skin as the time stretched and Nessa didn't open the door. Her voice seemed to shake as she asked him sharply what he wanted.

"I'm not going to yell through a door at you like a town crier, Ness." He snapped back, his nose wrinkled, hands wringing into fists so that the parchment was crushed in his grip. "I'm here on Ministry business," He clarified, voice lower this time as he crossed his arms defensively. "It's got nothing to do with you." It had everything to do with her, which was so mortifying that he almost turned on his heels at the mere thought of it. That she might glean that from his stiff posture and shaky excuses. "I've got a scroll for a Xiulan Zhou." He went on, his voice forcibly steadier. "So, unless you've changed your name since I last saw you..."

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NEVERLAND at ADOXOGRAPHY 2.0!

[nessa abigael byrne]

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With how tightly her arms were wrapped around her, she definitely was doing a good job at not opening the door. Otherwise she may have. Even when she was really upset with Nate she always gave in to one little thing or another. And he wasn't completely wrong that talking through the glass door was...odd. While he may not have been the 'town crier', he was still an annoying asshole. Keeping the peace around the muggle neighbors was important to Xiulan though, and Nessa wasn't about to wear out her welcome in one fell swoop. That would just be another problem caused by Nate at the end of the day.

Except apparently he wasn't here for her but for Xiulan. On Ministry business. That made her eyes widen a little bit. Since when did he work for the Ministry? "You're smart enough to get hired there?" she asked. The thing was, whatever he was here for, it did have to do with her. She was sort of Xiulan's assistant now. It worked for the time being. Assistant and tenant. She didn't really think Nate would understand, despite having been in a similar position working at Blishwick's pizza the last time they actually spoke. Now that she thought about it, that had been months ago. Last summer maybe? Earlier than that?

"I can take it to her. You don't need to come in at all," Nessa explained as she finally unfolded her arms and reached for the handle. She stopped short of it though, wondering momentarily if this was actually some sort of ruse by Nate to get her face to face. Their last few encounters weren't exactly violence-free, which is what had led to now. Her feelings hadn't changed since then either. "What department is it from. Show it to me," Nessa demanded. "I'm her assistant, so whatever needs to be shown to her, I can see too."

Nathaniel David Forrester ● 319 ● Song by Artist

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[Nathaniel David Forrester]

now you see me.

AS TIME STRETCHED ON AND THE DOOR STAYED firmly closed, Nate felt his ire only increase. There was a drip of water making its way down the collar of his cloak, chilling his spine, and he was restless. Turning his head to watch for strange passers-by. He felt unwanted, which was something he didn't make a habit of feeling if he could help it. When he looked back, Nessa was glaring at him through the glass. Like they were visiting from a high class prison. He wondered if Ms. Zhou was as altruistic as she seemed. Or, maybe Nessa just hated him.

"Fuck off," He retorted on instinct. Her jab hitting somewhere between his ribs. He hadn't expected a warm welcome, but the cool cruelty Nessa was exuding made him anxious. "You know exactly where I said I'd work." He reminded her with a haughty lift of his brows. "My plans never changed." He added, as if to remind her that she had broken their lifetime promise. How they'd schemed over firepits and stolen booze bottles. Planning to run away together, to escape the unwanted masses of the orphanage. Their plans went from magnificently unrealistic, to tentative little pathways. How Nate would graduate first, get a flat away from the orphanage. Lay the groundwork, get an internship. How she'd come stay with him once he'd gotten everything settled. Except, reality poked holes in their flimsy dreams and they were placed firmly on opposite battle grounds.

"Yes I do." He retorted, quick as a whip. Nessa's cold greeting had given Nate a terrible sense of dread. He was embarrassed enough to be kept waiting, but stubborn enough not to relent when she tried to halt him at every corner. It wasn't about seeing her anymore at all, it was a battle of wits. "It's signature locked," He shrugged, though he wasn't sure if that was true at all. "Needs to be Zhou I hand it to." The lie rolled off his tongue easily, shifting in place as he held up the scroll and used his other hand to retrieve his Ministry ID.

"Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes." He declared dully, his expression forcefully blank lest he appeared smug. "Ministry stamped tag situated just... here." He used his finger to flick the red tag strung around the scroll. "Why else would I have come all the way up to the of arse-ist part of London?" He shrugged his shoulders stiffly, the rain catching the back of his head as it bounced off the ground just beyond the awning of the columned entryway. He wondered, deep at the back of his mind, if Nessa thought he'd come for her. And how, sickeningly, she was sort of right. 

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NEVERLAND at ADOXOGRAPHY 2.0!

[nessa abigael byrne]

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She couldn’t not smirk when he told her off. A satisfactory grin plastered across her face because she knew she’d hit one of those precious little nerves of his that he was so protective over. Pulling at them used to be fun, until he started to get extremely defensive and angry over it. Instead of countering back when he tried to say his plans hadn’t diverged from what he had said years ago, Nessa shrugged. At this point, it really wasn’t any of her business what he did or didn’t do with his life. He had done a damn good job at pushing her to the side and pretending she wasn’t important over the last few years. All those false words and sentiments did nothing for her now. He’d made his bed, and with plenty of other girls at that.

”Bull,” she said back to the letter supposedly being meant only for Xiulan. She’d never heard of magic like that before, especially on a letter. Then again, she also didn’t know about a whole lot of advanced magic in general, or anything that the Ministry would use on a daily basis for situations like this. If he could only hand it to Xiulan, she didn’t see why it couldn’t be given to her.

Nate went on to explain what department it came from, flashed some sort of stamp that was supposed to tell her that it was official, and then started to bitch about why he would even come here in the first place if it wasn’t for work. If she had to take a guess, to annoy her would be a great reason. Not that she wanted to sound like a conspiracy theorist, but he had ways to look people up now that he worked for the Ministry. He probably did that to find out where she was living. It was definitely a possibility.

”That’s great and all Nate, but she’s not in. So give it to me, and I’ll make sure she gets it when she comes back,” Nessa finally said. ”Swear to Merlin, I’m not fucking with you.” Lately, she had noticed that her honesty had been rather obvious in her tone of voice. If Nate hadn’t been such an ass to her the last several years, he would have seen the change. Which then begged the question: would she have gotten this far if she had continued to hang around him?

Nathaniel David Forrester ● 405 ● Song by Artist

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[Nathaniel David Forrester]

now you see me.

IT WAS LIKE KNOCKING HIS HEAD AGAINST A very hard, very stubborn brick wall. Nate stood on the stoop like a some kind of door-to-door salesman, and he knew Nessa was taking a special pleasure in denying him. It was like being back at school suddenly, those last few months where every interaction between them had been like a competition on who could bite down the hardest. Nate couldn't quite remember who had won in the end. 

"Fine," He said with a mean, pursed smile. He tucked the scroll into the front of his coat, out of view and reach. "I don't have to argue with you about something you don't understand." Nate said loftily, shrugging his shoulders as he painted on a cool, professional expression. The kind of look he used on stubborn clients, on nagging coworkers who tried to push him beyond his tightly wound boundaries. She was no different, he reminded himself. She was nobody. It was a blatant lie, and it wasn't working very well, either.

"They sent me here for her, I didn't know you'd be answering the door like a glorified house elf." Nate commented with a twitch of his brow. He shrugged the collar of his robes up and crossed his arms, the badge in plain view where he'd incidentally clipped it to his robes.  "I didn't even know you'd be here, so I don't know why you're acting like this is a personal call." Nate lied plainly, an almost pleasant little tick to his mouth appearing. "I mean, I barely know you now, Nessa, no need to get so bloody nostalgic." Uncrossing his arms, Nate suddenly held up both hands, palms facing.

"Ah, never mind, let's not get carried away." Nate declared with a huff of dry laughter. "I recall how you love a fight, but I'm a bit old for it now, Nessie." He took a step back on the porch, ignoring the splatter of rain that hit his temple as he retrieved his wand from his sleeve and cast a quick Impervius over himself.

"When the Lady returns, do tell her I tried to deliver the important document,s" His smile grew, as if he were enjoying the interaction after all. "And that she can traipse her very busy, very expensive arse up to the Ministry and retrieve the scroll like a glorified owl." He was down a step now, the rain creating a little down of droplets above him as it sluiced onto the ground at his feet. "I'll be sure to tell her what a good guard cruppie you were." He winked once and swung on his heels. "Get you a nice little treat for all your hard work!" 

nessa abigael byrne

NEVERLAND at ADOXOGRAPHY 2.0!

[nessa abigael byrne]

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Nessa yawned as he yapped away and tried to offend her. She was so beyond the little petty shit like this. Nate hadn’t had to deal with the girls at Beauxbatons. They made him seem like a mild inconvenience at best. Never again did she want to deal with any of them. Obviously, the proximity to Hogwarts and the orphanage was why she was sent there instead of Ilvermorny, but she’d grown tired of France relatively fast. If there had been an option to wait a year to go back or simply end her schooling at her sixth year, she would have much preferred to do that than suffer through Beauxbatons the way she had. If anything, it really put into perspective the vast difference between herself and those who had it well off.

Blinking off Nate’s attempt to cool himself down, as if he won the fight that she wasn’t even attempting to be in. She sort of felt bad for whatever poor girl latched herself to him next. Her own relationship with him hadn’t even been romantic in nature. She hated to see what it would have ended up like if it had been.

He started to back away from the door, continuing on about how she had to let Xiulan know about the letter, which of course she would. She wasn’t going to go toss all of her good fortune out in one fell swoop. That was when she realized that Nate had to be jealous about all of this. He wasn’t expecting to find her here, of course, but the building stood out significantly. There was no hiding the wealth in this neighborhood at all. Nessa couldn’t hide her growing smirk as she realized. ”As I said, I’ll make sure she gets it.” she repeated. And off he went. Nessa rolled her eyes at his back before closing the door and retreating back inside from the downpour that had begun outside. Good riddance.

[The End]

Nathaniel David Forrester ● 327

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