Happier Than (N)ever | Arlo & Lulu

[Arlo Bletchley]

Busying himself for a moment by fussing with the jacket he wore was easy; that was until he felt pretty bare when he looked up and found Lulu staring at him. His jaw ticked again as he made to swallow again and quickly looked away from her. Clearing his throat he moved to lift his mug of tea and head towards the couch to try and enjoy it. In his head, putting some distance between them would make things easier. After his first sip from the cup he cleared his throat and then spoke quietly "It's fine. You're already here now. Help yourself to something more comfortable to sleep in, you know where everything is I guess" still avoiding eye contact with her, he took another sip. The tea was cold at this stage, but it was something to do.

He felt the nervous, uneasy energy radiating from her, even though she was across the living space. they had once been so close and attuned to each other that it was hard not to pick up on it; all her little tells were magnified by the alcohol and it was difficult to hide it. Arlo tried to ignore it the best he could. It would be easier not to address it, in his mind.

When she spoke, he didn't react for a moment. Pausing he sat and listened in silence, processing what she was saying. He was still so finely tuned to her and her subconscious he just knew she was crying, but again it was easier to not acknowledge it. If he did, he'd have to act on it. And right now it was a hell of a lot easier to....just not. His teeth clamped down over his lip again as he took in her words; a drunk heart spoke a sober mind. But that was it, she was drunk. Did she really mean it all? She was the one that had walked out on him with such little foreshadowing it still shook him a year later, still caused lapses in relationship building. He had take a massive risk getting together with her in Hogwarts, they'd been through a lot together and grown as people. Only to have her up and leave with such little warning one day. He still remembered the bullshit excuse she had given him about still loving him but not being in love with him. she wanted to go off and live her life. At the time he worried if there was somebody else or was it just the relationship had ran its course on her side of things; she was burned out and tired of their domestic bliss. It had happened right here too. Another reason had been stupid to bring her back here, open up his old wounds again.

He was quiet for a long time before eventually sighing. when he spoke again his tone was still low, almost as if he was scared. "Okay..." he trailed off hesitantly. Before starting again, his voice now much more defeatist "I don't know what you want me to say to that Lulu." He glanced at her only briefly from where he sat, wondering if she was going to join him or stay over there. Wondering which would be the better option. He didn't look at her for long though, not long enough to lock eyes with her, before looking down at his mug again. He had only had a few mouthfuls of the tea before it had begun to make him feel sick. It was more than likely actually the whole situation that was nauseating, but still, blaming the tea was easier. Hauling himself up off the couch, he crossed the space to stand beside her at the sink again. It was easier to do this when there was silence hanging in the air. Even if he was now close enough to touch her again, energy crackling in the air between them. He still didn't look at her as he made an exaggerated move at rinsing his mug out. But then she spoke and he was forced to look into the icy blue eyes.

His gaze held hers for a moment and he felt trapped, under a spell. Unable to say anything at first, but unable to pull away either. His bottom teeth grinded his top row as he digested the question. He wasn't aware for a moment that he was holding his breath, until it felt like it was choking him. Remembering he needed to breathe, he inhaled deeply, and that had been enough to break the spell. It wasn't enough to stop the colour blanching his face at the thoughts of Lulu laid bare right here in his flat, or how she was close enough that he could kiss her right now. But it gave him enough reprieve to break away from her gaze, instead he looked down at the counter, focusing where his hands gripped onto the edges, knuckles almost white because he grasped so tightly. It was the only thing grounding him for a moment. No, he never could lie to those close to him. But right now he didn't need to. slowly he nodded, setting his jaw. "Yeah. I never really stopped...that. I guess.." that was all he said for a minute. The confession hung heavy in the air between them, as he still pointedly looked away from her, down at his hands. Within seconds, another spell broke and he pushed himself away from where she was again, It was only when he was a few paces away did he feel safe enough to look at her again.

"Lu...I think you should just go to bed. Can we not do this tonight..." Pinching his fingers over the bridge of his nose, almost in annoyance, he sighed quietly again "I'm not doing this, whatever this is tonight. You're drunk. I'm not going to kiss you or fuck you tonight, just to have you regret it and leave in the morning and walk out again. Let's just...not please." there was a wariness to his voice. An edge born out of protection, but an edge all the same. When he spoke again quietly, his hand dropped to his side and his face was unreadable for a moment as he gazed at her. "Just...please. I can't do that again."


lulu anne blishwick

[lulu anne blishwick]

Lulu had a feeling Arlo was hoping she'd go to his room and pass out but she'd surely put up more of a fight. She was afraid to see what his room looked like now. There was a flicker of hope when Arlo revealed he still found her attractive. That flicker of hope quickly fizzled as he added distance between them again. Somehow the gravitational pull kept bringing him closer before Arlo would add space again. He got up from where he was sipping his tea and stood next to her by the sink.

Hot tears started to well in her eyelids again, threatening to spill over as Arlo said he wasn’t ‘doing whatever this is’ tonight, explaining he didn’t want to let her close again because she’d probably regret it in the morning and leave. A lump formed in her throat, ”I’m not drunk anymore.” she protested, her mood flaring with annoyance for a moment before fizzling. Okay, maybe she was a little drunk, but she knew what she was feeling deep down. This was exactly why she didn’t enjoy drinking. Her feelings were amplified. Lulu quickly learned that she was a sad and impulsive drunk at a very young age. But she was also at battle with her heart, wishing she could convince Arlo to trust her again. The sadness ate her from the core, inside out. Lulu knew she didn’t deserve Arlo after how she treated him but she was certainly selfish enough to try to get him back.

Lulu was quiet as she met his gaze, reaching for his strong arms, fingers running down to grab his hand. She worked on closing the distance between them, inching herself closer. ”Leaving you was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made, Arlo...” she stated with a shaky voice. Lulu's eyes fell to the floor, afraid to make eye contact with him because she was sure she'd start sobbing. Wiping her eyes with her sleeve, she stepped closer to Arlo, forcing her way into his personal bubble. As much as she wanted to push herself against him and steal a kiss from him, she didn't want to force it. Lulu's mouth opened and shut again. She was quiet as her icy blue eyes slowly locked in with his, unsure what to say but the floodgates burst open. "After realizing what I've lost, I wouldn't want to leave in the morning. But if you want me to leave, I would. You could use me...break my heart, kick me to the curb to get back at me..I deserve it." she offered, feeling absolutely pathetic from the desperate words coming from her mouth but she meant it. "I miss you so fucking much it hurts."

Arlo Bletchley

[Arlo Bletchley]

He hadn't noticed that Lulu was closing in the distance, doing exactly what he hadn't wanted her to do. The closer she got the harder it was to set things straight in his mind. He felt like prey, cornered. Like this was not going to go his way and he'd be devoured. 'I'm not drunk anymore'. Her words buzzed in his ears. They didn't make anything better. If anything that made it all worse, there was nothing to blame it all on. She sure seemed it anyway. His teeth clamped on his lower lip again as he tried to arrange his thoughts into some logic, but as seconds ticked by he just felt more and more trapped.

But when she reached out for his hand it wasn't a big rough paw of a monster; it was just Lulu's little hand, that fit in his so well, just like it used to.

He didn't return the hold she had on his hand, it just hung limply there as she stared up at him. All he could do was stare back, trying to move through the brain fog that was settling on the whole situation. in His mouth opened and as his heart rate quickened and he gulped in whatever air he could get. It was dizzying. The feeling of being pinned down like this, like a cornered animal; when at the same time your heart began to soar again. Her words didn't help. None of this made sense. Yet part of him wanted to pull her closer, say everything was ok. But it wasn't ok, he knew that. the past eleven months had been shit for him, while he had tried to piece back his heart; working on himself to try and remember that he was in fact good enough when he sure as hell didn't feel like it. None of this was ok. He'd been searching her face for some unknown when he noticed the tears pooling in her eyes. It was then he snapped, pulling his hand back. She had stepped closer but Arlo doubled down and moved back, out of her range again.

"That's why you came back then right?" his tone was sharp, the months of pent up anger lacing his sarcastic words. His brows furrowed and his face turned to a much more refined glare. "You didn't walk out on me with no warning, and then leave it a year, and then run into me by accident in some seedy club. You didn't go off and live your life like nothing was wrong while I had to pick up the pieces of me again and try and make sense of things?" As she went on about him using her he became even more enraged and he actually laughed at her sentiment.

"No Lulu I don't want to do that, because I'm not a shitty person like that. I actually recognise just how fucked up that would be and I wouldn't inflict that on someone no matter how much I hate them" again his hand reached up and he pinched at his nose like this whole thing was giving him a headache. Taking a few breaths he tried to calm himself, ensuring to keep the physical distance between them. He was mad at himself for blowing up, but no matter how much therapy he'd gone through to work on himself, the pent up feelings had been building and he could only keep them bottled up so long. Still, he didn't apologise for
it. Maybe she was right, maybe she deserved an element of it. When he spoke again his tone was lower, more controlled though an edge remained to it.

"You walked out on me Lulu, without as much as one little fight to warn me of it. I thought we were good, great. But it turns out you just got bored of me and fucked off." with another breath he finally was able to look at her. She was crying still and if he wasn't so angry he would have likely pulled her into him for another cuddle, but no he was still infuriated at this whole thing. HEven though he looked at her now, his face was still harsh and hostile. "You have no idea how hard I had to work to pick up my pieces after that and put myself back together. So no, I'm not doing this. You can't just walk back in here and say you missed me after meeting me tonight by complete accident and making no effort before that and think that that would make everything rosie. Because it doesn't work like that.." he had started pacing in an effort to burn off some of the pent up energy bubbling at the surface.

After a second he paused and went to reach for his jacket. Stay tonight or don't. I don't really care so long as you're safe, but just be gone in the morning. I'm not staying here..."

lulu anne blishwick

[lulu anne blishwick]

Before Lulu could even notice, the tension was shifting in the room as he glared at her. She noticed a storm brewing inside Arlo’s eyes, something she wished she could take back, but now it was too late. The words that fell from Arlo’s lips stung because they were true. She dryly swallowed, trying to keep a straight face but her lips turned downwards into a deep frown. It seemed that Arlo hit a point of no return once he started to tell her how he really felt. She wished he would stop because the truth hurt too much as her feet remained frozen on the floor, speechless.

Arlo was right. Lulu never came back, or made the effort to get him back. Truthfully, she didn’t think Arlo would ever want to see her again, which was justified in her mind. Tonight when she saw him saunter into the night club she worked at was a rare opportunity and she seized it. Maybe she should have snuck off home like she originally planned but she would have spent the rest of the night kicking herself for not saying anything to him. Now she’d spent the rest of the night hating herself regardless. Funny how the world worked sometimes.

As the young man started to pull his jacket over his shoulders and told her he was leaving, she raced him to the front door. Her eyebrows laced at the center of her forehead, ”No!” she bellowed with shaky hands, anger rising inside of her. Lulu rushed for the door, but not to stop Arlo from leaving, she wanted to be the one to leave. There was no way in hell she was staying in their previously shared apartment alone, especially after such an emotional outburst from Arlo. The worst part of all…he was right! It made her stomach drop to her ass, causing her entire body to heat with agitation and embarrassment. How could she be so stupid and selfish? Over and over again. "I-I-I'm sorry." she squeaked, knowing that wasn't good enough.

Pulling her bag over her shoulder and coat closer to her body, she reached for the door knob in a rush. ”I will leave as I should! You stay!” the blonde demanded, her tone hoarse from beginning to sob uncontrollably. ”Coming here was a mistake - not that I even had a choice!” she yelled back at him angrily with slits for eyes, as mascara stained her face, heart beating rapidly against her ribcage.. Her world uncontrollably spun as anger welled up inside of her, filling her with adrenaline. She never asked to come here, yet here she was. In Kensington, far from home. Maybe she could call her cousin Obie, he wouldn't make her feel bad about it or to ask too many questions..

Lulu swung the door open as she stepped out of the flat, not looking back as she slammed the door angrily fueled with adrenaline. Well, that was a telltale sign she was surely still drunk. The emotions seeped out of her as she stumbled down the dark street, unsure what to do next as tears streamed down her face. She was at loss on what she was supposed to do next. Leaning into some posh Muggles planters, she attempted to silence her sobs with no luck as she buried her face in her hands, wishing she'd wake up from this horrible nightmare.
 
Arlo Bletchley

[Arlo Bletchley]

Arlo's brows furrowed furthered when she snapped. Her anger took him aback; Why was she angry? What right had she to be angry about this whole thing? Setting his jaw he stared her down, daring her to continue. Lulu was still crying but now they were hot, angry tears. His chest tightened, and momentarily softened as she then back pedalled and apologised. But he didn't let that seep in to much before he steadied himself and let that wall build back up.

Watching her, she went on to say that no she'd leave; and that caused him to pause. She was angry, and still drunker than she was letting on (Arlo knew her well enough). He shouldn't let her leave, the good guy side of him was battling with the angry, spiteful side of him was winning out. She walked away before, he shouldn't stop her now. She was a big girl, she pretended she could look after herself, when it suited her at least. Good enough for her. When she went on to attest the fact he brought her here against her will, that made him angry snort with laughter. "Oh right yeah. Great, in future I'll just leave you sobbing in the middle of a club when your drunk as fuck and obviously vulnerable as well. Yeah good idea." with an over exaggerated eye roll. He shook his head "Don't be so ridiculous Lulu, I know I probably could have thought of somewhere else but like I said I panicked and settled here because it was safe, away from the club." his voice was venomous, much harsher than she was likely used to.

But then the door slammed, and she was gone.

He stood there for a moment, coat in hands, staring at the shut door; it was surely still shaking for how hard she had slammed it. He was still shaking from it all. He stood, eyes fixed on the door for longer than he should have, momentarily wondering if she was going to come back. That was when he began to feel the adrenaline seep away and leave him deflated and wrecked. With a curse he threw his coat on the couch and pinched the bridge of his nose, he was definitely actually getting a headache now. He shouldn't have let her go off into the night alone and so upset. Georgie would be mad at him for it, that was for sure. But there had been no stopping her. whatever had erupted between them was obviously a long time coming and had to happen. Mulling it over in his mind, he found his top teeth clamping down over his bottom lip again, something his mother still scolded him for to this day. He sighed quietly and shuffled over to the kitchenette in search of something for his headache and a beer to try soothe his aching heart.

End.