kind regards

[simon sixten svendsen]

November 6th, 2028

LUNA LACHESIS TRELAWNEY ,

First off, I want to emphasize that I don’t expect a response from you. 

I’ve landed myself in a rehab in Sweden. It's pretty here but it fucking sucks because I have a lot of time to think...sober thoughts. Truthfully, I think of you often and hope you’re doing well.

Raw dogging life sober has been an experience in itself. It's been so long since I've been sober, at times it makes me feel high. That sounds corny as hell but it's the dead honest truth. The worst part of it all is I'm not allowed to play quidditch or have a phone here. It's been over a month. I've never felt so disconnected from the world but at peace at the same time.

With those sober thoughts, I’ve come to the realization that I was in a terribly bad place when we were together - and far before we were together. I want to apologize to you for how sloppy and selfish I've been for a long time. You didn't deserve the way I've treated you. There were times I could have been there for you and prioritized drugs, alcohol, and other people.. I apologize for pestering you to eat. And I'm sorry for making you feel like you weren't good enough.

I've been told apologizing is a part of the 'healing process' and figured you deserved an apology the most out of all people in and out of my life so thank you for reading this far. I'll always care about you, Luna, and hope you're living a life that you love and deserve. 

Love,
Simon

[LUNA LACHESIS TRELAWNEY]

There are numerous attempts made at a letter, all discarded and all unsent. The most robust of which lays scratched out across Luna's desk.

Simon,

I miss you so much. I wake up every morning and I think of you. But I know that is a part of me I have to let you go.

I wish things were different.

I wish things were better.

I wish we were stronger.

I love you still and I think I always will. But I need to be me first.

Love,
Luna

simon sixten svendsen

[simon sixten svendsen]

December 26th, 2028

Happy Holidays, LUNA LACHESIS TRELAWNEY  

I hope you're doing well. There's not a day that goes by that you don't cross my mind. Sometimes I feel like you're the only one who'd understand what I'm going through right now. Rehab has been a struggle for me. I hate it here. I wish I could share that I've been clean this entire time but I've had a couple of hiccups which caused me restart the entire program again. It sucks and it's humiliating, but I know that was all my own doing. I wish I could stop fucking up. It feels like a fucking disorder. I always manage to do the wrong thing. 

I don't know why I'm sharing all of this with you. Then again, I never thought it was possible to miss someone so deeply. You've left an empty, gaping hole in my life. There was a time I tried to hate you but I don't think I ever can truly do that. Wherever you are, I hope you're happy and healthy. 

As I sit stuck here with my sober thoughts and regrets I wonder if I've lived enough? Have I loved enough? Have I ever actually tried? Will I ever play quidditch without people looking at me and associating me as a druggie and alcoholic? I'm so exhausted.

Please know that I don't expect a response from you. No pressure. But if you wish to.. How are you? Are you playing quidditch? Anything good happen to you lately? Thanks for reading if you've gotten this far. Take care of yourself, Luna. You deserve to be happy.

X,
Simon