Skin [Xiulan]

[nessa abigael byrne]

▲

January 27th, 2029

”Fuck,” Nessa swore as she yanked her hand away from the stovetop. She had reached a tad too far, grazing the inside of her middle finger on the edge of the pan that was currently sizzling with her poor attempt at an egg over easy. The yolk had gone runny within a second of cracking it over, and for a moment, Nessa wondered if it was because she had glared at it too intensely. Most things around her tended to blow up or run away when she did that. This was her go at trying to be more independent. She had a job now and was twenty, a stage that she quite frankly didn’t think she would ever make it too. As the astrologers would say, the stars were never aligned for her. But now they sort of seemed like they might be. Except for making eggs, of course.

The little voice in her head that called her brutish and violent liked to erupt at times like this. Sometimes it sounded like her own, other times it was Nate. Today it was a cacophony of Hogwarts students, each telling her how she was a failure because she couldn’t make an egg right. Unfortunately for the dumb little voices, it was easy to scramble her mistake. With a few aggressive stabs at it with a spatula as she sucked on her newly burned finger, Nessa felt the anger and disappointment fade. These days it was easier to get rid of it. No one at the museum cared that her life had sucked up until this point. They only wanted her to do her job. That worked for her too.

Satisfied with the state of the quickly solidifying egg, she stepped to the side to run her finger under the faucet, eyes not leaving the pan. Knowing her luck, it’d catch fire and the entirety of Xiulan’s flat would go up in flames. She did not want to be responsible for that. It was too bad that she couldn’t cook with magic, as apparently that was a thing. Considering she had to have a solid mental picture just to transfigure objects, the hope of ever using cooking charms seemed like a longshot. Mastering the art of the egg came first, obviously.

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[xiulan zhou]

January 27, 2029

Having Nessa around felt perfectly normal to Xiulan, who had long since gotten used to the young woman's presence. She knew that she couldn't take all the credit for how well Nessa had been doing, but she had a job and almost two years of stability. That was a pretty remarkable accomplishment. Xiulan tried to be as supportive as she could while also trying to give Nessa the freedom to grow and to ease into adulthood on her own terms.

Nessa was in the kitchen, which didn't bother Xiulan. She cooked for her when it was reasonable for her to, but she knew Nessa was also able to make food for herself. To use the word "cooking" there might have been a tad generous, but Xiulan appreciated that Nessa was making the effort to learn the life skills that no one at the orphanage had thought to—or had the capacity to—teach her.

When she heard Nessa swear aloud, Xiulan was in her sitting room and thankfully not with a client. She was a little worried about what had happened, though she wasn't angry with Nessa for having cursed. She had become attuned to the young woman's occasional frustration, and she knew that Nessa wasn't an inherently angry person herself. Some of her clients initially questioned why she had chosen to house a teenage delinquent, as they saw her, but Xiulan had quelled those concerns.

"Nessa?" she called out, rising out of her chair slightly as she raised her voice. Xiulan didn't feel the need to run into the kitchen immediately; it wasn't yet to the level of an emergency, but she did want to check on her. "Are you alright?" she asked. That was the beauty, she supposed, in always being around if Nessa needed her for something.

nessa abigael byrne

[nessa abigael byrne]

▲

Hearing her name called while she was still running her finger under cold water made her freeze slightly. Xiulan wasn’t the orphanage. A running thought that Nessa had to constantly remind herself of. The funny part about that was that the orphanage had never treated her poorly. She merely disagreed with how they handled the older children and the fact that they failed to get her adopted for all of those years. Most barely spent any time there. She was lucky enough to get thrown in there at three years old. Not even old enough to remember who had taken care of her prior, or even where she came from. Nessa supposed that was a good thing, as whatever her poor parents had gone through was clearly a lot if they were abandoning their own child. She’d come to terms with that too, the older she got. There was still a lot of rage involved, but it was better than having a life with one or both of them and then getting kicked to the curb.

”I uhh…” She didn’t have to lie anymore. Xiulan wouldn’t care. If anything, she’d be concerned about the burn. ”Just touched the hot pan on accident is all!” she called back as she stopped the running tap. The small mark on the inside of her finger had turned into a red line and was already starting to bubble. She clicked her tongue at it, knowing that it a blister would be annoying at work tomorrow. Flicking the knob for the stovetop burner off, she transferred the pan to a cooler one and let it sit there. Taking care of the injury was more important. Unfortunately, she didn’t know any spells that would zap it away. But there were muggle burn creams and plasters somewhere in her belongings. That was assuming Xiulan didn’t have a potion or two to fix it up.

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[xiulan zhou]

January 27, 2029

The response that Nessa provided her at first was a hesitant one, though she soon called out that she had touched a hot pan on accident. While it wasn't the worst thing that could have happened, Xiulan understood why she had cussed; it was painful. It was good that Nessa was cooking on her own, but that didn't mean that she had to suffer through a burn that could be easily healed with magic just to prove some sort of misguided point about adulthood and rites of passage. Unlike many of the supposed role models she'd had in her younger years, who would have relished such a timely "learning experience", that was exactly what Xiulan hoped to avoid. She had Burn-Healing Paste in her bathroom and was happy to grab that for Nessa's use. It wasn't necessary to use Zhurong's tears for a relatively minor injury.

"I'll be there in a moment," Xiulan replied as she stood up all the way. She went into her bathroom, knowing that the Burn-Healing Paste was in there somewhere. Upon finding the paste—which looked more like a bright orange goo—she walked briskly to the kitchen with it in hand.

When she entered the room, she saw that Nessa had already taken the egg she had been cooking off the stove to keep it from burning. There was no need to take over for her. The benefit of magic was that they could get her some burn paste and then reassess the egg situation. Besides, eggs cooked quickly, and Nessa could always cook another one.

"Here. Burn-Healing Paste," Xiulan noted, presenting the jar to Nessa. "You shouldn't need much." Slathering it on was for severe burns of the sort that a dragonologist might get, but it was helpful to have as the owner of a phoenix.

nessa abigael byrne

[nessa abigael byrne]

▲

Nessa frowned as Xiulan said she would be to her in a few moments. Not because she didn’t want the help, but because she was so used to being independent that it felt wrong. That wasn’t to say the orphanage had treated her poorly during her upbringing there. They had been stifling to an annoying degree, of course, and more often than not, Nessa hid what she really wanted or needed from them. They had failed to get her adopted (or maybe she had, it was unclear and unimportant now), so it was hard to feel like her existence there was important or a necessity for them. Nessa knew deep down that none of that was true, but it had been what fueled a lot of her resentment towards the other children and then led her to following Nate foolheartedly. Thank Merlin she’d cut that cancer out.

She was inspecting the bright red mark on her finger when Xiulan entered the room with the burn-healing paste. Nessa had never used it, though recalled seeing it on students who managed to accidentally burn their skin with fire-based charms. The paste was orangish in color, and as she scooped up a dab of it on her finger, felt the jelly-like consistency wobble. Nessa stared at her burn a little longer, wondering what the best way to attack it would be, before settling on a broad slather. While it only slightly stung, the paste immediately brought a cooling sensation to the inner part of her finger.

”I’ve never had to use that before…” she explained, turning her hand over and over again to see how the paste was working. ”Thanks.” The real problem was her egg. Over-easy it was not, and the stovetop had cooled off since she had turned it off to take care of the burn. There was always scrambled eggs as a replacement, right? ”You don’t…you don’t happen to know a decent way to make an egg over easy, do you?” Nessa decided to ask Xiulan. It felt strange to do so, especially for something so easy.

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[xiulan zhou]

January 27, 2029

"I've never had to use that before…" Nessa remarked after putting the burn paste on her injured finger. "Thanks."

There was a first time for everything, Xiulan thought, and the same went for her and how Nessa wanted her egg, describing it as "over easy". Though she had lived alone for some time, she hadn't lived under a rock. She had a general idea of what Nessa was asking for. "You want it fried on both sides but not completely fried? Is that right?" she checked, making sure she understood what Nessa was trying to do.

Focusing on the egg was the most important aspect. People who had been cooking for decades longer than either of them could claim that it was all about sensation and having some innate knowledge of the right technique all they wanted. Maybe that worked for some of them, but Xiulan, skilled at magic though she was, had ended up with a different inborn ability. "We can do this step by step," she told her. "How is your burn?"

nessa abigael byrne

[nessa abigael byrne]

▲

If she was being completely honest, Nessa wasn’t one-hundred percent sure if an over-easy egg was supposed to be fried on both sides or not. She knew that it had to be flipped at some point, though not exactly when was the ideal time, temperature, or look of it. Scrambled and sunny side up were obvious based on their names, so she assumed Xiulan was right with her question about it. ”Err…yeah I think that was what I was going for,” Nessa answered, though not with any confidence in her voice. ”I wanted it where it’s basically runny once you cut into it.” Her phone had said that was over-easy, so she was fairly certain that both of them were on the right page here.

Through her egg research, Nessa did ultimately want to get to the point of making omelets. She had always enjoyed them when they were available at Hogwarts. Being able to mix and match what she wanted in them sounded like the best way to eat a breakfast to her. Scrambled eggs sort of allowed that, but there was very little delicacy needed for those. Once she managed to figure out the proper flipping technique for the over-easy, then she was positive that it wouldn’t take much to get an omelet down as well.

”Almost gone, I think,” Nessa answered as she took a look at her finger again. The redness and swelling that had started to appear prior to putting the paste on had reduced greatly, and the pain had diminished as well. She really needed to send a bottle of this to Nate anonymously, since he was great at burning bridges with his friends. He would definitely know it came from her, which was what made it better.

Flipping the scrambled failure onto the plate she had prepped, Nessa turned the stovetop burner back on to get it to a low heat. That was what she remembered from the instructions she had read online. The frying pan would still be hot, so the egg wouldn’t take too long to get to where she needed it. Now all they had to do was wait before cracking the egg over it again.

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[xiulan zhou]

January 27, 2029

Xiulan had no doubt that the paste that she had given Nessa would work to heal her burn. The more important thing was that it had done so quickly, with Nessa telling her that it was almost better by that point already.

"Good," Xiulan replied, though it was Nessa who took the initiative to return to the stove. With the burn nearly taken care of, it was clear that she hadn't been deterred for long. In general, too, she was resilient like that; maybe she didn't always give herself credit for it, but she was.

As Nessa turned the stove back on, Xiulan watched to make sure she had it right. "I should teach you some more cooking spells once you have the basics," she added. It was helpful to know how to prepare food both magically and non-magically, and it would get easier. The more she cooked for herself, the more it would feel natural. "Would you like me to guide you with the next egg?"

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[nessa abigael byrne]

▲

Learning to be self-sufficient was stressful. The orphanage had done a little bit in the way of getting her ready for life after Hogwarts, but there had never been a parental figure that stepped in and showed her how everything was supposed to be done. It was like being thrown to the wolves almost instantly. With the way she had struggled to find a job right after graduation, she would have been in deep trouble without Xiulan’s help. In that brief period, where she finished her last exam at Beauxbatons and before she came to live here, she had fallen into a pit of really hating her mother for abandoning her. From her own understanding, the Ministry would have eventually found her and given her mother the help she needed to raise a young witch. Similarly to the way they had located her after she’d been initially given up. All it would have taken was a few more years, and everything would have become normal. Maybe still a little bit of a struggle, but she could have had a semi-normal childhood and had guidance. Not receiving any until she was twenty was insane.

The things she thought about whilst waiting for the frying pan to heat up again were wild. ”I would like that,” she said, looking up to Xiulan. Learning how to cook was on the top of her list of things to do. She couldn’t have been more appreciative than she already was. It was like she’d been saved from the cycle that had taken Nate and sucked him right in. Having someone that actually cared and watched her back was so much better than the toxicity of her former friendship. Nessa desperately hoped Nate would realize that too someday, and they could rekindle things.

”Ummm,” she thought allowed about whether or not she wanted Xiulan to show her this time. ”I think I want to try it again.” Something, something about practice making perfect. If she had to cast a spell a hundred times to get it right, she’d crack a hundred eggs as well. That was a deep thought to be having while trying to fry an egg. ”Even if I don’t get it right, as long as its edible I’m fine with it.”

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[xiulan zhou]

January 27, 2029

After thinking it over, Nessa turned down her offer of help with cooking the egg and said that she wanted to try it again for herself. As long as the egg was edible, she explained, it didn't matter to her if it turned out as she hoped it would. Nessa's reasoning wasn't a problem for Xiulan, either. She wasn't being wasteful, and it was a learning process. She had the freedom to make mistakes without having to worry as much about how they would affect her and the rest of her life.

Knowing that Nessa had the situation under control, Xiulan kept her distance. "I'll stand back here out of your way," she noted, "and you can tell me if you need my help." It was the sort of guidance that she hadn't had much of herself, so being able to provide that to Nessa was nice, even if it was a small thing.

nessa abigael byrne

[nessa abigael byrne]

▲

What scared Nessa the most about all of this was the sudden surge of confidence she had started to gain once she was finally granted her independence. Initially, she had assumed that it would be terrifying and impossible for her to find her way. While it still was, she had definitely been saved from a downward spiral by Xiulan. There was no need for her to help at all in any of this, and yet she did. Coming around to the compassion and selflessness was hard to do at first, especially right before she went off to Beauxbatons for her final year. Now it felt normal, and exceedingly so every time they had an interaction like this. As much as she hated to admit it, this never would have happened if she had continued relying on Nate for everything. Neither of them had it easy, and he deserved something similar to this, if only to get him on track to understanding that he was worth it. Nessa, unfortunately, didn’t know how to put that into words for him to grasp it in the same way she had. She was positive it would just break down into a shouting match again if she tried.

Xiulan gave her room, and Nessa observed the pan. It was definitely hot enough and didn’t require any extra vegetable oil in. While she may have burned her hand, she hadn’t completely torched everything to the point where the pan would have to be scrubbed down before another use. Those days were thankfully behind her. Cracking one egg, she gently let it slide into the pan, and then cranked down the temperature dial once she heard the whites start to sizzle. Supposedly the lower heat would work just as well to ‘fry’ the egg. And then all she had to do was wait until it looked ready. Whatever that meant. Google wasn’t always clear on things like that.

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[xiulan zhou]

January 27, 2029

Although the saying might have gone that a watched pot never boiled, that didn't exactly carry over to cooking an egg. No, that was more to do with practice making perfect, and even then, that wasn't a guarantee. To keep from putting pressure on Nessa (and ideally make sure that she stayed focused on the task she'd set out for herself), Xiulan stayed back as she had promised her she would, looking on without a word.

From what she could tell, Nessa was starting out well. She cracked the egg into the pan and then adjusted the temperature, and Xiulan could see that the egg was beginning to cook without a problem. There was no need for any burn paste yet, either, so that was good.

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[nessa abigael byrne]

▲

The low crackle of the egg whites was encouraging to Nessa. She hadn’t really achieved this on the last attempt. Practice did make perfect, after all. If there was one thing that had be instilled in her at Hogwarts, it was that. Repetition from wand movements and spell casting had their part in all of this. Cooking was merely a different kind of magic. The type that would either fill your stomach or leave you with burns and wondering why you didn’t order delivery from the place down the street. Now that she had a little bit of money, Nessa had done that once or twice…because why take the time to walk and pick it up when they would bring it to her? That was also part of the reason she had decided to start learning. Her money wasn’t forever, even the small bit of it she did have.

Stepping back from the stovetop, because she really didn’t need to spend all of her time staring at the egg as it slowly cooked, Nessa crossed her arms in front of her. ”Supposedly I have to let it go like this for a while. Until the whites are settled…” That was where she had messed up last time. She attacked the egg too quickly and flipped it when it wasn’t ready. By that point, it was basically only good to be scrambled. And then the burn happened. Staring into the yolk, Nessa blinked a few times to get rid of the sleepiness that was starting to take over. Attempting eggs over and over again was more exhausting than she had ever anticipated.

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