circadian rhythm | fae

[james sirius potter]

i've got nowhere left to dream,

so i'll just stay awake

November 3, 2028
fae iona cloudbreaker

James ran a finger over a scar near his hairline. Earned when he ran into a castle burning to the ground with cursed fire. That spell had nearly gotten him, but old stone saved the day. Earlier in the day, he’d been just as lucky. Still, James was frustrated that he’d been in that situation. But instead of focusing entirely on the work before him, part of his mind and heart had been elsewhere. Pacing in the very small flat he rented in London. James went over it again in his mind. Fae was on the mainland. However, James had been removed from her security detail. At first, he’d thought it was a simple mistake, and then he grew paranoid that perhaps his superiors had learned what was happening on Hy-Brasil.

Naturally, the Head of the Magical Law Enforcement Squad pulled James just after being briefed on Fae’s chosen itinerary for her stay. All his willpower and energy had focused on keeping his mouth shut rather than protesting. And it sat in his gut and burned until now only a ball of anxiety remained. Knockturn Alley? Why in Merlin’s name would she visit there? It was quite literally harmful to visit. The dark magic lingered in the air like dust in an old room. Not to mention the other destinations she planned after and during the rest of her stay, and that was on Monday when (humorously) Finnigan and Finn joined her detail.

James’ superiors told him the team was stretched thin that week. The President of MACUSA was also on a state visit. Not to mention their usual work of handling hazardous criminals. So, James pulled double shifts the entire week, with hardly a moment to sleep, let alone find time to see Fae. At least that day, they finished early; James and his colleagues were released for the weekend due to their overtime. Luckily, all the cuts, bumps, and bruises quickly healed with a few charms, but it bothered him that he needed that kind of support.

His boss joked that perhaps James had grown rusty spending all that time on Hy-Brasil, suggesting he permanently return to the mainland. The suggestion had gripped his heart tightly. First, he worried about Fae. Her safety, but also all those precious moments they worked to steal. Second, James was concerned that his boss was right. The entire week, he’d been entirely unfocused and distracted with concern over Fae. Merlin forbid something happen to her in Knockturn or wherever else she went and he hadn’t been there. In the few spare moments, James found to speak with her at the Ministry, he had warned Fae—even asked her not to explore such places. There was a reason the number of magical law enforcement squad members in those areas was so high. But she insisted in that way she did.

Finally, he let himself drop to the couch, where an empty glass of whiskey sat on the side table. James had shared the location of this flat with Fae. His flat felt unnecessary, but Number Twelve was hardly suitable for any friends or guests who had not quite literally grown up in its eerie halls. Something told James that Walburga Black would not take kindly to a Druid in her presence. And James had to admit, he quite liked having his own space.

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[fae iona cloudbreaker]

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Despite the numerous warnings Fae had received from the Council, the Ministry, concerned parties, and even James, she was hellbent on visiting numerous areas within the magical mainland that were known for their darker sides. From the very beginning of her frequent trips abroad, she had always wanted to do this, but the manpower simply wasn’t there. Now that she had built a rapport with various government agencies and higher-ups, she was awarded with proper security and knowledgeable people. Frankly, with Merlin’s staff she was far more capable at casting and dueling than most of them, but she allowed the law enforcement department play security and think they controlled every aspect of the trip. It made them feel better that way. What it also did was make them think that they knew everything she was doing.

See, while they knew Fae was a metamorphmagus, most had never actually seen her use it in a manner that allowed her to sneak away whenever she pleased. Most of the time when she was in Diagon or Horizont, they didn’t even send their own people anymore. Her own guards were sufficient enough. Playing coy and ‘airheaded’ around a lot of them had worked to her advantage over these last few years. They were none the wiser.

Early on in her trip, James had managed to catch her, albeit briefly, and given her his address. He had been taken off of her detail for some reason, and while frustrating, she understood that the Ministry had to make do with who they had. The official reasoning she was given upon the change was that they needed to make sure others within the organization knew how to handle her protection detail, in the off chance that the regulars weren’t available. Fae had no idea if that meant they had discovered what had been going on between herself and James, but she didn’t pry any further. Her plan was already set in motion as it was, and they couldn’t exactly stop her when she had free time to do what she wanted.

Slipping out of her usual suite within the Leaky Cauldron, Fae’s guard had long left and headed to his own room. That was the nice part about having at least one that was druid. Not that he would have recognized her currently. She had completely altered her face to that of a muggle girl she had seen earlier in the day during a brief trip outside of the Ministry. Following the instructions James had given her, she secretly made her way towards the flat. It was all so exciting! Once she was a reasonable distance from the Leaky Cauldron, and when no one else was around, she altered her face back to the way it was supposed to be. There was no need to keep up the charade until she reached James’s place.

A brisk walk later and she was positive that she was in the right place. Without having a telephone to message him by, she had to go off of the scrap of paper in her hand. Muggle buildings were unbelievably confusing though, and she had to ask the front desk attendant if they could point out the stairs since the floating electric door thing still scared her slightly. Eventually, she found the correct door, and knocked on it.

james sirius potter ● 556 ● Song by Artist

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[james sirius potter]

i've got nowhere left to dream,

so i'll just stay awake

November 3, 2028
fae iona cloudbreaker

James heard the knock, suddenly feeling alert. He jumped to his feet and looked through the peephole in the door. Immediately his heart did a flip at the sight—Fae. She wasn’t in disguise, but James doubted anyone would have recognized her in this building. With muggles for neighbors mixed amongst a few other wizards, it was easy to cast various charms and live comfortably without bothering them. Still, there were limits to that—hence why his flat was not very big. Opening the door, James offered a tired smile and stepped back to let Fae inside.

She hadn’t seen this flat yet, only because her last visit to the mainland had been so long ago and before they had become…involved. Closing and locking the door, James then gently pulled Fae to him kissing her. He’d been wanting to all week but their schedules prevented them from reasonably seeing one another. ”I’ve missed you.” For those few moments, James forgot the troubles that lingered on his mind. It was just them, just like on Hy-Brasil. ”I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you this week.” James apologized. He still wasn’t one hundred percent sure why he was taken off her guard duty. Suspicion lingered in his mind. And then he remembered his manners. ”Erm—do you want wine or tea?” James asked, stepping back and heading into his small kitchen.

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[fae iona cloudbreaker]

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The exhilaration of sneaking away from the Leaky Cauldron in disguise had driven her right up until she was at James’s door. There was no hesitation in her knock, but she did start to suddenly panic as the seconds ticked by. While she was certain she was at the right place, there was no way for her to confirm that. Wouldn’t it have been easier for him to meet her somewhere close to Diagon Alley on the muggle side? Fae liked to think of herself as incredibly independent…but she still had moments where the mainland completely confused her.

With her heart practically beating in her throat, her fingers and toes started to nervously tingle – a feeling that hadn’t occurred in a long time. She used to get it frequently whenever she had to address the mainland politicians, though was now more confident in herself so that rarely happened these days. If this ended up not being where James lived, then she knew she was going to have to talk her way out of it. Which could be interesting. Especially with muggles.

Her worries were instantly dashed aside when the door opened and James stood on the other side, smiling at her. Fae hadn’t realized that she’d been holding in a breath the entire time, exhaling it as her nervousness disappeared. Stepping inside, James pulled her into a kiss. ”I missed you too.” The same giddiness that she’d had when leaving her room had come right back. ”That is okay. You would have been bored. That Knockturn Alley was not as impressive as everyone made it out to be. Have you ever been?” She figured he had. James was the daring type. He’d managed to swoon her after all.

”Tea, please,” Fae requested as she took in the flat. It was so large! Her home, in comparison, could have fit in half of the first room they entered, and she could already tell there were more. ”You have so much space here!” she said in wonder while picking up one of the throw pillows on the couch and poking it to test its softness.

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[james sirius potter]

i've got nowhere left to dream,

so i'll just stay awake

November 3, 2028
fae iona cloudbreaker

”A few times…” James wasn’t sure how to feel about her statement. While Knockturn Alley wasn’t exactly a battlefield, something about lingering too long in its presence made one feel on edge. The hairs on the back of James’ neck always stood up, and he felt like many eyes were on him. ”Did you visit anywhere in particular?” Perhaps a catered route had been used, avoiding the darker corners of the Alley. It was probably luck she didn’t happen to stroll into a black market area, considering how hard those were to pinpoint on a good day.

He walked the short distance to the tiny kitchen, smiling to himself at her reaction. Fae’s endless curiosity and ability to find joy anywhere always sparked something within James. It was probably one of the reasons he’d fallen for her. Never in his life had he met someone with such a perspective. James’ world was filled with stories of his father’s youth and fighting Voldemort and James’ experiences at Hogwarts with Elaine and witnessing death firsthand. Those around him experienced similar experiences, and anything else was rare to find. ”It’s alright. Smaller than most flats but affordable.”

He brought the kettle to a boil with his wand, preparing tea cups and other odds and ends. It wouldn’t be like the tea Fae served in her cottage, but it would make do. In those few moments alone, James couldn’t help but feel unsettled. She thought such a space was not a big deal. But with an armed guard, it was no wonder. Entering such a place alone was where trouble could begin. Floating a tray to the living room, James gently placed it on the coffee table. ”Did you run into any trouble getting over here?”

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[fae iona cloudbreaker]

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”How do you call it? Just window shopping?” she said in response. Knockturn Alley, while certainly dark and creepy and nothing to scoff at if one was on their own, was sadder than anything else. She could sense the misery and despair that emanated off of the stores she passed and the inhabitants of the alleyway. They were different beings than those that lived and worked in Diagon and Horizont. The Ministry official that had tagged along with her had warned her of this, of course, and that for some it could come as a shock. On top of the obvious vibrations of dark magic that persisted throughout the street. ”But no. I wanted to look at books there, but was told that most were cursed and I would not be allowed to bring them back to Hy-Brasil with me. As much as I would love to take a look at them, I cannot go against our laws,” she frowned slightly. A High Druid caught partaking in dark magic would most likely cause a crisis of faith amongst her people. She wasn’t here to usher in the end times of druid-kind. Though one would have to ask at that time if that was the whole point of her being made High Druid in the first place. Definitely food for thought.

”But still larger than my home,” Fae made a point of differentiating between the two. Her shack was well maintained and sprawling when it came to the outdoor portion, but it was beyond modest. There were rooms for rent in the Leaky Cauldron that were bigger than her home as well. Beds that took up more space than her place had total. She had been told that there was such a bed called a ‘California King’. Whoever this king of California that made beds was, she wanted to meet him and arrange a way to ship one to Hy-Brasil. Turning her one room into a giant bed sounded divine.

James busied himself with preparing their tea and asked if she had any issues getting to his place. ”None at all. I made myself look like a muggle I saw earlier today. See?” Fae altered the shape of her face effortlessly to show James what she had done, before immediately changing it back to how it was supposed to be with a shake of her head. She didn’t use that part of her ability often, and apparently it could be unnerving to those that weren’t used to it. Playing around with hair color and length was much ‘normal’, as she had come to find out.

She found herself seated on the couch; pillow still hugged tightly across her chest. Now that she was here, she felt the weight of the last few hours waiting drift away. The excitement was still there, but in a more positive way than it had been before she’d arrived. She couldn’t stop herself from looking at the apartment, taking it all in as she did so.

james sirius potter ● 500

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[james sirius potter]

i've got nowhere left to dream,

so i'll just stay awake

November 3, 2028
fae iona cloudbreaker

While in the kitchen, James felt his jaw clench a few times. Her dismissal of Knockturn Alley mildly annoyed him. How could Fae underestimate such a place? Even in his world, it was only a small collection of shops, but its appearance and reputation kept many far away. Something lingered in the air, and James couldn’t describe it as anything but heavily unsettling. How did Fae not feel that? ”Well, whoever told you that was correct.” James added. He prepared what he needed and carefully floated it to the living room, where the teapot poured its contents into a cup for his guest. ”Why did you want to look at the books?” James wondered. Part of him asked out of genuine curiosity, and the other half wondered what she was searching for in cursed books. It sounded risky.

Fae was correct in saying that his living space was larger than her modest cottage. The leader of a nation of people living in such a humble abode was endearing. Merlin knew their Minister or the President of MACUSA would hardly ever get caught living in such a space. James recalled when he, his siblings, and cousins all attempted to fit themselves in a single room at the burrow, much to his grandfather’s amusement and grandmother’s ire. That room felt larger than her home, but maybe the books and other things made it appear smaller.

James didn’t often get to see Fae change her appearance in such a way. Normally, the changes were restricted to her hair color or eyes. It was strange, seeing her with someone else’s features. ”Merlin, it's any wonder your details can keep track of you.” He joked, sitting down next to her. James let himself relax, not preparing any tea for himself. His arms draped loosely on the back of the couch, and the past week had felt like a month with the long hours and swirling thoughts. Fae’s presence helped, even if his mind continued to race. ”I’m glad you’re here. I worry about you visiting places like that.”

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The elders and the Council (which were currently one in the same) had grown distrustful of her actions over the last few months since the changing of members. Fae’s rebellious streak of ‘acting out’ had grown since then. Going into Knockturn Alley was not very High Druid of her at all, and yet she still went. While they could huff and puff all they wanted about her on Hy-Brasil, she was not beholden into following their ancient social faux pas. She never had, really. That was why her job had been a tour guide. Too afraid to leave, but not scared of those that came to visit. And now she wasn’t worried about either. And if they knew about what she was doing right now? If they could have it their own way, they would try to return to the old ways of not allowing any outsiders in. Such a thing would never pass now that so many druids had made families with mainlanders. She would also not allow that to happen.

So she pushed the boundaries of the druidic laws. Which was fun, because she was the high authority on them, in a way. Knockturn Alley itself was not inherently dark. It was just another street that had shops on it. Which happened to sell objects that were dark and cursed. ”Curiosity,” she answered James simply. It really wasn’t much more than that, aside from scaring the chizpurfles out of the Council members.

”They try their best. I have to give them that,” Fae said, trying not to laugh at the struggles she put her poor guards through. Their job was harder now with the recent changes. ”And now you sound like them,” she added, sipping carefully on her tea. ”I carry the staff of Merlin himself with me everywhere I go. I fear that very little dark magic could affect me while I wield it.” There had been times where it, and it alone, had kept her standing. The conduit was far superior to anything else she had ever used. Of course, it had been left in her room at the Leaky Cauldron tonight. Instead, her willow wand had made its way back into rotation. ”I appreciate your concern though.”

Setting her tea down, she moved closer to him on the couch, resting her head into the crook of his shoulder. ”It is going to get worse soon,” she said quietly. Things on Hy-Brasil had not been going as she had planned. ”I just ask that you trust that what the Council says and what I feel are not one in the same.” The unfortunate part about her trips to and from the mainland was that it gave them plenty of time to poison the well while she was gone. And they also had access to all of the information she did. She knew that isolation came next, though how they were going to achieve that hadn’t been presented to her yet. More than likely, she wouldn’t know until it was said and done with. ”I am trying to do what I think is best for the future of our people and the island…but there are far less that agree with me than I originally thought.”

james sirius potter ● 538

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[james sirius potter]

i've got nowhere left to dream,

so i'll just stay awake

November 3, 2028
fae iona cloudbreaker

James chewed on the inside of his cheek. He supposed she was right. She did, in fact, carry that staff and, therefore, was perfectly capable of protecting herself. He could see it now—the entire Hit Wizard Squad and the Aurors brushed aside like leaves in a strong breeze with one wave of that staff. It did nothing, however, to squelch the feeling in the pit of James’ stomach. That tight anxiety that had sat there all week as he felt useless because he could not ensure her safety. Meanwhile, his thoughts had driven him to perform less than his usual at work.

His concern? It made his anxiety sound like some small irritant. Rather than spitting out the first response in his mind, James clenched his jaw. While Fae was one of the most powerful witches James would ever meet, she still didn’t seem to understand some things. And he feared what trouble that might bring her. But why ruin a good time, especially after so long? ”You know I like to worry.” He joked. By the time she moved closer, he had forced himself to relax for the moment. As her head nuzzled into his shoulder, he let his arm gently tighten around her shoulders.

Frowning, James listened to her speak. In James ' opinion, politics are always complex and always ruin everything, especially when people hold on tightly to the past despite the progressive nature of the future. Shifting, he moved so he could look Fae in the face. ”You don’t have to worry about me.” James assured her. ”They don’t share your curiosity and understanding. And I know you don’t agree with their extreme sentiments.” Lately, the buzz was on werewolf politics, which James watched closely because his younger sister and one of his closest friends were possibly affected. James was not a werewolf, and his world felt a little off-center; he couldn’t imagine how they felt. ”I know you’ll do what is right.”

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[fae iona cloudbreaker]

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The problem currently plaguing Hy-Brasil was not the sort that could be hand-waved away with an election like in the Ministry. She understood mainland politics far too well (and still not enough, in her opinion) at this point, and it was very clear how their way of speaking had influenced how she approached the Council and elders. That was honestly one of the bigger issues in all this. They felt that they had lost their High Druid to the mainland. In a way, they sort of did. Everything Fae did, she felt was out of necessity. Very few of the current members on the Council had been off the island since the barrier came down, let alone traveled prior to that. The ancestors had clearly chosen her as the envoy for these trying times, and the Council was now refusing to believe it.

”Even if I do what is right, I cannot completely ignore the will of my people either,” she said in response. Fae didn’t know what would happen if she outright rejected the Council. There was nothing in existing texts on the island that indicated whether or not such a thing had ever occurred. They had all been chosen for a reason, and the current conflict was incredibly un-harmonious for being druids. It was all so confusing to her.

Fae let out a long, exasperated sigh as she leaned deeper into James’s arm and the couch. She had come here to escape it all and managed to immediately bring it up on her own. ”I am sorry. I told myself when I left that I would not talk about it.” How did mainlanders manage to leave work and not think about it at all until they went back the next morning? That was probably where she differed immensely. Her title as High Druid was who she was now. Her job, life, everything. All she had ever wanted to do was travel and experience the world, and now she could whenever she felt like it. With the added baggage of being the leader of an entire community. ”It feels impossible right now…but I am sure it will work itself out eventually,” she added rather optimistically as she looked up at James.

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[james sirius potter]

i've got nowhere left to dream,

so i'll just stay awake

November 3, 2028
fae iona cloudbreaker

James was always acutely aware he would never understand the pressure or troubles of her position. Not that he cared for such a load on his shoulders. The best he could do was listen and provide encouraging words. That’s what his father would do, he always thought—and always had. In his younger years, he remembered watching his father and Aunt Hermione discuss various topics at length while his uncles would play with Lily and their cousins, especially in those months when his father returned, and his aunt was still the minister.

For now, he nodded to acknowledge he had heard what she’d said as he absentmindedly let his fingers run lightly up and down her arm. It seemed like a difficult choice. Ignore the council or ignore the future. James didn’t know what he would do in her shoes, and for that, he was grateful. As frustrating as it was to exist as a pawn on a chessboard, it was also much easier. ”It’s alright. I don’t mind.” James smiled softly. It felt good to know Fae trusted him enough to share these details. Not that transparency was ever an issue for her, but their boundaries had long since changed.

”It sounds like you need a night off.” A night to exist as just a person and not the High Druid. James pretended to think of an idea. ”I’ve been told I’m good at distracting people.” A constant comment from his Professors at Hogwarts. His ability to distract his classmates during class had been reminiscent of his Uncles Fred and George when they were young, or so James had been told. Hoping to lift her spirits, James smiled and leaned down to kiss Fae. Merlin, he had missed her.

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[fae iona cloudbreaker]

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Fae felt small in that moment as she pondered what it was that she could feasibly do to sway the minds of the councilmembers. Most likely nothing, if they remained staunch defenders of the days of old. She knew how each and every one of them were, the unfortunate reality of living in a community as small as Hy-Brasil. There was no escaping it, and as she had ideas on the intricacies of the Council, they also had the same of her. She cursed herself frequently now for being as open and forthcoming as she had been in her early years, often times relying on these same elders for assistance. Having quite a bit of it thrown back in her face now that she had seen the broader world and understood everything that much better, they had no qualms with claiming that she was a hypocrite. They did forget that she was their leader though, chosen in the exact manner they had been and with a much greater purpose at play.

Curling up into more of a ball than she had been more, she knew that if she wanted to, she could actually physically shrink. It was possible with her metamorphmahus powers. Not being alone right now was much better than stewing in her room back at the Leaky Cauldron. While she was there, her thoughts were flooded with ‘business’, as the mainlanders often called talking work and politics. She didn’t need any more of that, as she had just told James. Yet here she was, continuing on and complaining…

”I agree…” she said as she kissed him back. The dullness of her hair flittered again for a moment, regaining a tinge of pink. ”I imagine it was quite useful in school? During my two visits to Hogwarts as a child, I had the impression that the students did not take their studies as seriously as I had always envisioned from back home.” She understood now that this was simply how things were conducted on the mainland. In order to properly learn and study, the students were allowed free time to do what they pleased. Similarly, the druid children enriched themselves in the island as a learning mechanism. If only the Council understood that and wanted to share as much of it with one another as she did.

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