is it over | amy

[AMY ESMA ASTOR-SHAW]

The animosity between the pair fizzled out almost as quickly as it was sparked. That would take some getting used to, thought Amy with a sigh. She shook her head as Toby repeated that he thought she was breaking up with him. Though there was still that weird feeling in the pit of her belly, it was overwhelmed by her own human emotions and desires. For the moment, at least. She just had to take every day as it came, which worked well for Amy. She’d never been much of a planner. As always, she would just let her mood take her as it did - and face the consequences as such.

Toby cradled the back of her head, and Amy couldn’t stop herself from twitching out of the way. He brushed a lock of hair away from her face, and Amy grimaced. ”Sorry,” said Amy, though again, she wasn’t sure what for. ”It’s just a lot at the moment,” she amended. Amy grinned reluctantly at Toby’s spot-on observation. ”You’re right about that. I’ll just trust you or literally anyone else in the world to brew it apart from me. I’d totally mix the ingredients wrong - I still have to picture a clock when considering clockwise versus counter clockwise,”

Curiosity finally won out, and Amy asked if everyone smelled strong. ”I was wondering if I’d seem different,” she said after a moment. ”I don’t even know how to describe it… it’s like a sense on top of a sense. More than just double.” Amy was certain she was doing a poor job of explaining the experience, but she reasoned that she didn’t really have to explain. Toby was a werewolf already. He knew all this stuff. ”God, I’m acting like this is all new info for you. Sorry,” said Amy, folding her hands before her in an effort to still herself. She smirked at Toby as he commented on her scent. ”Really good, huh?” she echoed, arching a brow. She felt her heart skip, and an excited tingling sensation dripped down her spine to her very fingertips. Well, Amy didn’t need to be a wolf to know what that feeling meant. ”Well, I did get a new perfume - baccarat rouge. Maybe it’s just that,” said Amy lightly, knowing full well that was not what Toby had meant.

tobias charles watkins

[tobias charles watkins]

Amy flinched as he raised his hand to touch her again, more out of habit - or an ache to touch her again. He should have known. ”No, it’s okay. I’m sorry.” he assured her softly as he retracted his hands to himself, offering her an understanding nod. As much as it pained him, he understood why. The senses of being touched, intense smell, and everything else was probably sending her into overdrive.

Toby allowed a bit of space between them to breath, sitting back in his chair and listening as Amy agreed she probably wouldn’t want to brew the potion herself. He smiled when she shared she still had to stare at a clock to picture counter clockwise, ”Hey, those clocks can be tricky.” he teased playfully with a chuckle, completely understanding what she meant. There were times he had to do that too. ”My first time brewing calming draught I put too much peppermint and it made me cry uncontrollably for hours..so that was fun.” Toby shared sarcastically with a laugh, always happy to share his mishaps, especially revolved around brewing. He could easily laugh at it now but at the time it was quite stressful and embarrassing. He was a pro now and was confident his brew wouldn't make Amy cry, other than the taste and contents.

There was a moment between them where their gaze met and he felt his insides go to mush. His face went warm and he ruffled his hair messily, more to busy himself. He didn't want to think too much about those thoughts right now. ”It’s definitely not the perfume.” Toby was quiet for a moment, a bunch of thoughts swirling through his head. Not quite sure how to navigate their new relationship together, but he was really trying. There was a part of him that was yearning to pull Amy into his arms, tell her everything would be okay, but he also knew this wasn’t a good time. That was something he'd have to earn.

Biting his lip, he considered his question before asking it. Swallowing, his expression softened as his eyes attempted to read her face. Instead of hesitating any longer, he slowly asked, ”Did you tell your parents?”

AMY ESMA ASTOR-SHAW

[AMY ESMA ASTOR-SHAW]

Amy grimaced. "Ugh, I don't need to cry more, I need to cry less! I wonder if my eyeballs are going to swell up and fall out of my head from it all," she admitted without thought. "Note to self - avoid peppermint," she added after a moment. As they continued to speak, Amy felt some of the tension draining out of her. It was as easy as breathing, she reminded herself. Being with Toby. He'd been one of the first people she'd met in Scotland, and she'd stuck to him for a reason. He had this crazy way of making her feel like all the noise in her head was quiet, even if just for a few heartbeats. It was easy then for her to start to sink back into their old banter, sitting comfortably in her seat. She couldn't really forget that he'd bitten her, or that it had really been her fault for being too bull headed, but perhaps...

Maybe they could move past it. Hope blossomed in Amy's belly around the same time as desire stirred. Her cheeks flushed as Toby said that it wasn't her new perfume that was what was different. She pressed her lips together, but remained silent as she weighed the implications of navigating this new relationship. Their chemistry was obvious, and fundamentally they hadn't changed. She considered how transmuting lead into gold would in turn give the metal different properties - but lead had always once been lead. Even if it was gold now, time moved in a linear fashion and in the past, there was the undeniable fact that this particular piece of lead was now gold. Amy had transformed into something different - but she still had been someone in her past. She clung to that, even if it felt so far away.

Amy swallowed thickly, dropping her gaze. "Andrew did. They're not happy, but not not-happy enough to come out here and yell at me in person," said Amy, shrugging. "I haven't seen Andrew since. He and Alora fell out over it," she added with a frown. "I mean... it's not like it's some uncontrollable thing these days. If you take your potions correctly," she said wryly.

tobias charles watkins

[tobias charles watkins]

Relief continued to wash over Tobys body simply by being in Amy's presence. After these torturous two months he was relieved that Amy was okay. His imagination had made up a whirlwind of upsetting scenarios of what happened to her, such as: moving back to America, joining a cult, or kidnapped by bad people. He hated himself for how creative his brain could be sometimes. 

His hazel eyes watched Amy carefully, swallowing hard to hold back tears that were threatening to fall. He hated himself for doing this to her. "You don't have to cry anymore. I will help you." he assured her, wishing he could squeeze her hand...wishing to pull her into his arms and comfort her. After Amy retracted from his previous attempts, he knew it was best to allow her to breathe. Touching her seemed to overwhelm her. This was Toby's fault after all. The reality of the situation was starting to sink in heavily. He had unknowingly changed her life forever.

Amy shared that her brother Andrew spilled the news to her family. They didn't seem to take it very seriously since they didn't pay her a visit. That news made him feel very sad. He could feel Amy's resentment towards him deep in his bones. Shaking his head in disappointment, his hands went sweaty.  "That's fucked. I'm sorry Amy. I'm so sorry for everything. I don't know how I'll ever be able to make this up to you..." Toby's voice shook, he felt like he was going to throw up. If he hadn't screwed up his potions, they'd never be in this mess. Their relationship wouldn't be on the fritz and they'd still be happier than ever. But he fucked up.

AMY ESMA ASTOR-SHAW

[AMY ESMA ASTOR-SHAW]

Amy took a deep breath and offered Toby a careful smile. "Yeah... thanks..." she said hesitantly. She still felt... off. Not quite right. But that was to be expected, was it not? Amy was navigating something terrifying and new, and it wasn't quite as nice as falling in love. Actually, it was nowhere near as nice, and Amy wished that it had never happened. Could've, would've, should've. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, tension crawling up her back once more. Toby looked like he wanted to touch her again, but Amy was glad that he resisted. It was too much to sort through at the moment.

Amy observed Toby, how passionate and caring he was. Even still. Even after finding out that she'd gone against his advice and suffered for it. Could it be so that he still loved her? Even after everything she'd done to him the past two months? Hope prickled in her chest, but she swallowed it down. Toby asked if she'd told her parents, but Amy hadn't had the chance. Andrew had gotten to them first. "They're more afraid of Britain than they are of me," Amy added after a moment. It was strange how their daughter, their little baby, went through a painful experience and... nothing. Alora had taken a lot of the abuse for her, for which Amy was silently thankful. It was already hard enough with all the other changes in her life.

Tilting her head in confusion, Amy stared at Toby. "I don't think you have to make up for anything," she said with a frown. Despite her frostiness and her off-kilter attitude, she didn't blame Toby. "I just need time to... you know. Sort it out. I'm sorry for being a brat earlier, clearly I'm not dealing well," she added, wincing. "But I appreciate your..." she paused, thinking for the right word. "Steadfastness. Is that a word? Is that the right word?" she shrugged. "Thank goodness for aware wolf," she added after a moment.

tobias charles watkins

[tobias charles watkins]

Amy apologized for being a brat earlier and he sighed with a chuckle. "It's okay. You don't have to apologize, I understand." Toby promised her, eyes straying to his untouched cup of tea. After weeks of wondering what happened to Amy he was shocked to know the truth. There was an ache deep in his bones as reality weighed on him. He couldn't help but feel responsible for biting the love of his life when he tried to protect her from himself.

Toby was quiet for a moment as a whirlwind of thoughts swirled through his head. A variation of apologies, "why"s,  a few "fuck you's" and more.. His mouth dry and heartbeat in his ears made everything feel very dreamlike. "This is a lot to process right now." he admitted, expression faltering with a weak look in his eyes. For the first time ever in Amy's presence, Toby wanted to leave. He was still deeply in love with Amy, but he couldn't ignore the feeling of resentment settling at the bottom of his gut with the newfound information. He needed to sit alone somewhere for a while and sort his feelings out.

Toby yearned to reach for her hand, to comfort her and be comforted, but he resisted. Swallowing hard, he leaned forward and stood up suddenly, "I-I need to go. I'll text you later about the Calming Draught. Please don't disappear again, Amy. I love you." he stated quickly, attempting to keep an even tone and feign nonchalance, but he felt like his world was crumbling around him. Placing money on the table in front of him for their drinks, he planted a quick kiss on the top of her head and left rather hastily so she wouldn't see anymore tears in his eyes.

AMY ESMA ASTOR-SHAW
[End Toby?]

[AMY ESMA ASTOR-SHAW]

The atmosphere between them was charged, and not in the way that Amy was used to. There was a shift in Toby's scent, a shift that had the hairs on the backs of Amy's arms raising. The silence that stretched between them grew more uncomfortable with each passing moment. She opened her mouth to reply, but shut it again, keeping silent. She cast her gaze downwards, her heart thundering in her chest. Where did they stand? After all this confusion and change, Amy wasn't sure.

Suddenly, Toby stood up and Amy's attention snapped back to him. Confusion was written across her face, though perhaps it was misplaced. Of course it was uncomfortable - the knowledge that his warnings had fallen upon deaf ears and now Amy was in the same creature-induced hell as he was. "Oh, okay," Amy conceded, her cheeks colouring. "I--" she began to echo the sentiment, but it got caught in her throat. And by the time she managed to finish her sentence, Toby was long gone. "Love you too."

[end thread]