the adults are talking | scottie

[Theodore Marcus Flint]

a fine young galahad.

april 2029

THE SLYTHERIN DORMS WERE ALWAYS A BIT quiet in the morning at the weekends. Those that were given permission to go off board were out, those that stayed often lazed into the early afternoon. And the keen beans getting an early start on their homework at the good grace to do so in the library, like the boogie-noses they were. Theo preferred to have an absolutely diabolical cooked breakfast, and then spend the morning draped across his bed until he felt the urge to do something worthwhile. His dormmate Scottie typically slept himself hoarse.

Returning to the dorm, Theo spotted Scottie's closed curtains and rolled his eyes. He had pulled a small wrapped paper package from his robes, and pulled his wand out with his other hand. Sending a very deliberate Tickling Jinx between the closed curtains. There was a moment of silence, and then the jinx erupted and Theo was treated to the shock and surprise of his sleeping friend.

"Nice of you to join the land of the living, mate!" He called across the room, jumping onto his bed and juggling the package in his hand carelessly. Inside, Theo had gathered up a couple of pastries and some fruit he'd seen Scottie scoff at the Slytherin Table before morning classes. He was something of a bin when it came to food, but he at least had a more refined pallet than that of, say, Tilly Poole. Scottie was always saying something about 'bulking up' lately. "Brought you something." He overhanded the package and sent it flying across the room and up, over the top of Sammy's four poster bed. It landed with an 'oof' and a slap, presumably somewhere on Scottie's person. 

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Weekends were Scottie’s favorite days. No classes. No practice. No worries. Most weekends were spent sleeping in until Sammy or Theo came looking for him with a plan. As Scottie remained tucked away in his bed with closed privacy curtains, his eyes were already starting to open when he heard foot steps approaching his bed. By the pace and weight of the steps he knew it was Theo. Before he could open his mouth for a greeting, a small gust of wind surrounded him as his entire body started to tremble in a fit high pitched, girlish of giggles as he twitched around. ”Oh, fuck..you mother foooker-” he giggled like a little girl as he rolled over and tried to fight the giggles unsuccessfully. A small package of pastries and assortment of random fruit knocked him across the face as he sat upwards.

Unsurprisingly a tickle spell and breakie to the face wasn’t the worst wake up call in the Slytherin dormitories. This was tame. At least he was woken with food. He’d easily forgive for the tickle spell with food. ”Thank you. Sustenance.” he yawned as another giggle slipped. Scottie chucked the sorry looking apple through the closed curtains, unsure if it would hit Theo, but always hoped it would.

Scottie flicked the curtains open, popping his head out like an animal coming out of hibernation. Scottie took a ravenous bite of a random pastry, ”That is diiiiiiviiiine.” he sang as his eyes rolled back into his skull in an orgasmic display. For all he knew these treats could be tainted or poisoned with another tickle spell, or worse, but he didn’t really care. That would actually be hilarious.

Stretching with a lazy smile, ”I had a dream that Tilly gave birth to a rat with huge tits…” he groped the air inappropriately with a weird mixture of excitement.

Theodore Marcus Flint

[Theodore Marcus Flint]

a fine young galahad.

april 2029

THEO COULDN'T HELP BUT LAUGH AT THE helpless giggling that erupted from behind Scottie's curtains. Throwing himself onto his unmade bed and kicking off his trainers as he lazed backwards and the laughing petered off to a breathless pant. What a way to wake up, Theo thought with another little laugh, rubbing at his eyes as he heard the package ripping open from across the room.

"You're welcome!" He crowed, staring up at the ornate ceiling and yawning into his hand. He enjoyed the early rise, but it did start to flag around midday. That's why he'd come to fetch Scottie, they'd conjure up a plan and spend the rest of their morning making some kind of mess and passing the day in a productive sort of way. Breaking things, and pestering prefects - not doing homework, or Salazar-forbid, studying.

The curtains flitted open across the room and Theo was graced by a pastry flecked mouth chewing loudly as Scottie rolled into a sitting position. "Try not choke," He teased him, letting one foot drop off the side of his bed and rock lazily. Eventually, the food was gone and Scottie said something so off-hand that Theo pressed his head into the back of the bed and barked a long and uproarious laugh.

"A rat with huge tits..." Theo wiped tears from his eyes and sat up so fast his head rushed. "Were you the dad?" He asked, overjoyed by this little titbit that he couldn't wait to pass on the message to Tilly when he saw her next.

"Speaking of tits..." Theo smirked, leaning forward conspiratorially and quirking his brows. "I did tell you I seen Tilly with her top off, right?" He said salaciously, recalling the Infirmary and her wearing his button down like a dress. His stomach tightened at the thought, but the thing was that Theo certainly had already told Scottie and Sammy. It was just important to him that they remembered. "I mean, she had her bra on, but it still counts." 

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NEVERLAND at ADOXOGRAPHY 2.0!

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After successfully guzzling down the treats in record timing, he was satisfied with the amusement Theo got out of his fucked up dreams. Theo followed by cleverly asking if he was the father and his expression faltered, ”Blimey. I can’t remember.” he admitted with a snort, shrugging on a clean tshirt from the ‘clean clothes’ chair’ pile next to his bed.

Scottie ruffled his bed head and stretched with an audible groan as Theo slowly leaned in closer with a conspiratorial smile, explaining he saw Tilly with her shirt off. Speaking of tits.. His eyes widened with approval, eyebrows dancing at the center of his forehead rhythmically.

“Yeeeah?” he asked in disbelief. The pair shared boyish smiles and nods. Scottie slapped Theo on the back proudly, ”You dirty dawwwg. Spill the fuckin tea.” he demanded, always a lover of gossip and personal affairs. ”Did you finally snog her?”

Truthfully, Scottie wasn’t as experienced as he tried to come off to be. He snogged girls numerous times but after being homeschooled for a year he missed out an entire year of experience. Now he was making up for lost time and found flirting difficult unless if alcohol was involved. In that case he had too much courage and no fear of rejection which could be quite embarrassing in the following day.

Theodore Marcus Flint

[Theodore Marcus Flint]

a fine young galahad.

april 2029

THE REVELATION THAT SCOTTIE COULDN'T QUITE remember the titted rat's paternity sent Theo into another fit of laughter. Flailing around in his bed for a good handful of minutes, before he almost gave himself whiplash sitting up. Theo pulled Scottie's attention across the room, and was more than a little smug retelling his famed interaction with Tilly Poole in the Infirmary.

Scottie's expression was rapt, and Theo got a thrill out of his appreciative disbelief. A heavy back slap that almost sent Theo sailing off the bad, coughing at the force of it. He rubbed at his shoulder without complaint - because he wasn't a wuss, or anything, and tried to act cool and collected as he shrugged loosely.

"I mean, I'm a gentleman..." He looked up at where Scottie hovered near his bed, an exceptionally 'un-gentlemanly' look on his face as his face broke out into a stretched grin. His eyes glinting with a leering mischief as he recalled his interaction with Tilly in searing, if rose-tinted, clarity. "But, no." He confessed, in a secondhand disappointment as he slumped back against his bed and swung his leg where it hung off the bed's edge.

"She didn't have any teeth at the time." Theo elaborated, as if to defend his inability to close on a pretty platter. He probably could've snogged her, he thought with a bitter kind of disappointment. "It kind of wigged me out a bit." He scrunched his nose up, remembering how he her nose was still mashed and her gums inflamed from the injury. "She told me to try again, though." He perked up, lifting his head to shoot Scottie a hopeful, salacious kind of smirk. 

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Scottie gagged with a full body shudder at Theo’s explanation that Tilly had no teeth at the time. ”Eugh!!" he raised his eyebrows and frowned. The mental image wasn’t pleasant. Losing his teeth was one of his worst nightmares - he’d look hideous. Somehow Tilly could probably pull it off. That must have been the day of the incident on the pitch where he heard she practically ate a bludger. Hell, he wished he was there to see it.

Disappointment washed over him when Theo told him the truth. Her bra was on, which still counted in some shape or form...but there was a silver lining to it all. A boyish smirk kissed his teeth as he nodded his head, "-But she told you to 'try again'?" he repeated, eyes brightened with hope for his friend as he hung onto that detail. His finger raised pointedly before grabbing his shoulder again, ”Now that, Theo, that’s consent.” he waggled his eyebrows with that similar salacious smile, "You basically have permission to snog her...when her teeth grow back.” he advised in a grand discovery, sure to add the teeth part with an even tone. Teeth were important when it came to a good snog. The thought of a gummy granny kiss made his skin crawl.

His head tilted to the side, ”How did'ya get in the same room with her shirt off?” he asked with a boyish curiosity, unsure if he wanted to know… But also, of course he wanted to know every detail because he was nosey like that. Scottie definitely wasn't the best person to take advice from but he had (mostly) good intentions when it came to Theo and his friends.

Theodore Marcus Flint

[Theodore Marcus Flint]

a fine young galahad.

april 2029

DEEPLY SATISFIED BY SCOTTIE'S VERY VISIBLE full-bodied shiver, Theo nodded gravely. It had been a bit of a sight, but he'd sort of enjoyed it. Tilly's utter enjoyment of the entire ordeal made for an entertaining afternoon. Plus, she technically still had his school shirt. He absently imagined her wearing it again and sighed with a bone-deep desire. It had probably been the best day of his entire year, but he didn't say that, as it likely sounded a bit pathetic.

"She told me to try again." He echoed, lifting his head to nod very seriously. They shared a very boyish grin, barely acknowledging all the other roadblocks that would likely form to stop him from doing just that. For instance, what if she lost all of her teeth again? "I know, mate." He shrugged lazily, a little too satisfied with himself considering he hadn't even gotten more than his lips against her bloody cheek. But, they were nothing if not hopeful. "It's practically on."

Rolling his neck to stare at the ceiling, Theo shrugged a shoulder and explained, "that first Gilly told me when she'd ate shit on the field, said it was a massacre." He rolled his head back to flash an excited grin at his friend from across the room. "I went to see for myself, thought maybe she'd like died or something." By this point, Tilly's great escapade was common knowledge, but few had actually managed to sneak in and see it for themselves.

"Remember my big performance in the Great Hall at supper?" Theo went on, recalling his desperately dramatic wailing he'd done over Tilly's bloody robes and Quidditch gear. He'd screamed like he'd held her limp body, the crusty blood flaking all over his person. He'd really sold it at the time, having been carted out by two senior staff members after everybody had gotten a good look in. "Well, we cooked that up together in the Infirmary." He said conspiratorially. "We swapped shirts so I could really sell it." That had been when he'd seen her bra. A truly glorious day. 

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