Some people are ghosts before they are dead ¦ Solo

[Alora Veda Astor]

25th May 2029

During the term time, Alora didn’t tend to spend a lot of time in London. Fleeting trips up and down, here and there. Or the odd night up with @shawn if she felt they needed the getaway, or there was something on in the City she wanted to go to. Shawn was just happy to go along with her fancies as they came on her. She still smirked at his reaction to the obnoxiously large and fancy family home she now shared with Amy, but he had gotten over it quickly and settled into the comforts of it. If she wasn’t here, Amy usually wasn’t either. Like Alora, she only really used it as a stopover if she was in the city; but she was much too busy for anything like that at the minute. Her baby sister had little time for anything these days. Scrambling. That’s what she was doing these days. Alora sighed at the thought of it. The incessant nagging she had directed at Amy to try and get her to reconsider, to postpone her studies till the next year. She wanted Amy to recover from the attack properly, to not feel trapped and stressed out by it all. She could see the immense mounting pressure her younger sister was under as they got to the end of the academic year. Alora had tried every avenue to convince her to just take the time; even going as far as suggesting she take the rest of the year off and they go to spend time in the old cottage in the south of France. But Amy was like a dog with a bone. Her hate for all things academic and wish to just be done with school outweighed the need to rest and recover.

Dogged, Alora had called her. Puns aside, it was one of the many traits she admired in her sister that she would never possess in such a way herself. Alora was driven and got things done, but she would never go against the grain to do what she wanted. If she was in Amy’s shoes she would have laid down in January and succumbed to her feelings. But Amy was better than that, and for that Alora adored her.

It was why she was pretty much immune to saying no to Amy unless it was something serious. They had fought after Amy’s breakdown of her relationship with their brother Andrew. Alora still blamed herself for that. Irrelevant of what Amy called her over protective older brother, in Alora’s eyes, she was the wedge that was driven between Amy & Andrew. After that, Alora felt only closer and more protective over her little sister.

It was for that that she had made the trip up to the family home this afternoon. It was a Friday in late May and there was nothing much in the way of classes for Alora to be doing today, most were just study sessions. Shawn had covered her class all so she could come up and gather the notebooks Amy had left in her room in the Astor townhouse. They had been filed away in boxes in the back of her walk in wardrobe. Old notes from modules at her first year at LIFE that she didn’t think she needed, but now was panicking about needing to go over for upcoming exams.
Shawn didn’t mind of course, Amy would simply owe them both a favour. A favour that would likely never be cashed in on because Shawn was just as wrapped around Amy’s little finger as Alora was. Even if she did still think he was gross because her teacher dared date her sister, and often called him so to his face. She liked to pretend she wasn’t just as fond as him and he was his sister in law. Alora hoped she could cash in on the favour later on this evening and snag Amy to spend a friday night chilling with them in her Hogsmeade flat and a chinese takeaway.

Making her way along the hall to Amy’s room she frowned at the semi-hushed voices drifting from the open door at the end. That was odd, Amy normally locked her door. Even Alora didn’t bother going in there unless she needed to. She wasn’t even sure who would be in there. Her brow furrowed deeper as she paused to listen for a moment; a man and a woman’s voice intermingling. More and more peculiar. Alora had a trusted woman who came to look after the place when she wasn’t here but she never bothered with the bedrooms unless Alora specifically asked her to.

Steadying herself she reached for her wand, just in case it was homicidal burglars or something of the sort. Turning the corner she took a breath, ready to confront who was trying to steal Amy’s alchemy notes. But as she took in the two figures in front of her, it died in her throat.

Years ago, when she was much younger and after her Grandfather had died, she had adopted his Den as her own hideout in the house. It drove her Grandmother crazy. There was never much incriminating stuff in the desk drawers or filing cabinets; but one picture haphazardly cut from a newspaper and shoved in the back of the top drawer of the desk had also stuck with her. It was a glitzy well dressed couple at some sort of event. The caption had been even cut away; but she didn’t need that to tell her who the picture was. The woman looking back at her looked just like her. The man was less known to her, but her eyes looked back at her. She had secreted it away from her Grandmother; terrified it would be destroyed. To this day she had never spoken a word about what lived in a copy of Alice in Wonderland on the bookshelf in her bedroom; so prized and carefully hidden away. She had never even told Amy about it. But somehow she had just known that they were her parents. The people the whole house were never allowed to speak of. Never even to acknowledge their existence again. The fact Alora lived was the only evidence that they ever existed, but now they had been cut from the world never to be remembered again. Except Alora did remember, when she allowed her mind to wander. She never even dared take the clipping to Hogwarts with her. She just left it safe amongst the pages of Alice, in her bedroom.

But now, taking in the faces of the two people standing in front of her, she couldn’t but not recognise them. The woman feverishly moved around the room; throwing things messily into an open suitcase on the bed. Red hair and once plump cheeks just like Alora’s. The man stood to the side as if exasperated by the woman's movements, as if he didn’t agree with what she was doing but was feeble to any attempt to stop them. Alora’s eyes sat there taking him in for a moment. He had aged too. He wasn’t as sharp featured or handsome as he had once been. But Alora had studied the picture enough to recognise the eyes. To recognise the ones she shared with Andrew, assumedly the ones they had both inherited from this man, but Amy had not. His face was rounder now too, middle age spread had hit him. But there was still a ruggedness in his darker features. Ones he shared with Andrew.

Standing there in the door jamb for a moment she was enraptured by the site of her parents in front of her; after all these years. Had they come back for her finally? No, they had come for Amy. She was processing what was going on in front of her; their mother was assumedly packing Amy’s things for her while their father watched on. After drawing herself up to her full height, the best she could to try and be intimidating she opened her mouth and heard herself speak.

”Who are you and what are you doing in my house” Of course she knew damn well who they were and what they seemed to be doing. But she needed to see how they would react to her presence before she could decide how to proceed.

[Alora Veda Astor]

Taking another deep breath to steel herself, she waited for their reaction. The man, Thomas, realized first what was happening. His eyes widened as he turned and took her in. Somehow he just knew how it was; his eldest daughter. The first born he had never actually known. Alora could see him swallowing whatever lump was rising in his throat. He didn’t do anything at first, he was too stunned for any sort of real reaction. Frozen statically to the spot he stood as he took her in. So physically like her mother in some ways, but not in others. Thomas wasn’t sure what he had expected coming here and getting into the house that now belonged to Alora; it hadn’t crossed his mind that they might actually come across her. Adalina had done her research, or so she said. Their daughter worked at Hogwarts. A professor, Adalina had said, she wouldn’t be home on a friday afternoon, she’d be too busy with classes. Thomas had been proud of that. He was a Muggle with very little insight to the magical schooling system, but he knew enough to know to be proud of Alora. As he stood and studied her; he was sure he had never made the wrong decision to not stop fighting Adalina on their decision. They had been young and stupid when Alora had come to be. They had nothing to offer her, no form of a stable life. Adalina had organised it all with her horrid mother, she would raise Alora and there would be no pressure or stress on anyone that way. But it had never stopped Thomas wondering what if. He had never wanted it that way, but he was too young and went along with things. Too eager to please. There had been fights in the years since, Adalina always won of course. But he had never stopped wondering what if.

Now he was faced with their grown daughter, he knew all of that had been the wrong thing. The way Alora looked at him with such contempt was enough to finish him off.

Her mother was slower to react, like she hadn’t heard Alora at all. Eventually she slowed down, snapping at Thomas under her breath; calling him useless and admonishing him for not helping. After a time, her gaze drifted to him, and then to where he looked at Alora. The colour in her face blanched momentarily, and her face faltered with the shock. Not for long of course before it slipped into a mask of indifference; she had been thought just as Alora had to hide her emotions and did it just as well it would seem. Eyes the same colour and shape met Alora’s and they both froze for a moment. Their gazes locked and something unspoken passed between them. Something unbolted in Alora’s chest; years of dealing with abandonment issues, feeling unwanted all bubbled to close to the surface now. The mother who left her; the one person in the world you’re meant to be able to count on now stood in front of her. Dangerously close to making her break down right here in front of them. But no, she mustn’t.

Thinking of Amy, she pulled from some other pool of strength and bolted her heart shut again. Shaking her head, she eventually pulled her gaze away and took a breath beginning to speak again ”I said-”

”Yes yes we heard you” Adalina cut her off, thankfully before the shake in her voice became evident. So she had actually spoken out loud, it wasn’t some figment of her imagination. Just neither of them had deigned to answer her. Unsurprising in one way; 31 years of ignoring her, why would things suddenly change now. She hadn’t finished processing that fact before her mother spoke again ”What does it look like? We’re packing Amy’s things, she’s coming home with us” As the words set in, Alora glanced towards her father, who didn’t seem to have much to contribute to that statement as he became particularly interested in his shoes, now actively avoiding Alora’s gaze. Alora was slow to react to her mother’s words, her brain sluggish in processing them. No, surely they couldn’t. They can’t take Amy away. She was 20 years old. She made her own decisions. And yet, Adalina had this aura about her. It was eerily similar to old Amelia Astor; Alora had no doubt she was very much a woman who was used to having her way. People didn’t say no to her. Her father seemed to understand that by now. He had now met Alora’s gaze, and defeat rested in his gaze. While he wasn’t actively helping her mother tear Amy away, he knew there was no point in fighting it either.

”She’s not meant to be here, with you. She was never meant to know about you. We knew Andrew was hiding something from us. He finally told us everything last week and after we had wrapped up a project we’ve been working on we were straight over. Everything, everything has gone wrong. She wasn’t meant to be here. With you. They’re not meant to know about you.” as her mother turned back to stuffing things in the suitcases laid out on Amy’s bed, she was now almost talking to herself, but of course making sure it was loud enough for Alora and Thomas to hear. Every line of dialogue shot Alora down bit by bit.

Once upon a time she would look at that crumpled old image, and hope and wish for her parents to come back for her some day. To come and rescue her from her miserable childhood. For everything to be turned around and finally have a happy upbringing like everyone else had.

Even now at thirty one years old a small part of her still wished for that. Not that she ever told her baby sister about her deepest dreams; but she had always wished that someday they would be a big family again. That Alora would meet their parents and their remaining brother, and somehow she would just fit into their life. It wouldn’t be perfect, of course there was too much history there, but they would be some sort of unit.

Every word pouring from her mothers mouth now laid rest to those hopes and dreams. Every nasty sentence was a repeated stab to her heart. Even now 31 years later, she was still that abandoned unwanted child.

Some things never changed, no matter how much you wished them to.

[Alora Veda Astor]

This is exactly the reason Alora had been so adverse to the idea of the idea of meeting her parents. Amy had pushed and pushed, but never truly understood this fear of rejection. The fear of rejection that was now coming true for Alora. Those feelings swelled in her chest once again and it took all of her remaining strength to not cry right then and there. No, she could never give them the satisfaction; could never give Adalina the satisfaction anyway. Where Thomas stood it seemed like his heart was breaking in the very same way Alora’s was.

Alora’s hazel eyes filled with tears and for a moment it looked like Thomas was going to move and comfort her in some way, but that was the same time Adalina turned to look at her and roll her eyes as if exasperated by her eldest daughter’s reaction, completely ignoring her husband.

”Surely you understand darling. We just want the best for our children, you can’t blame us for that” Her false, painted on smile never faltered, but softened somewhat, as if trying to win Alora over. Her next move was just as perplexing to Alora as her words were. She crossed the room in one swift movement, and pulled Alora into her arms in what she was sure was meant to be a comforting hug. But it felt all wrong. It wasn’t the comforting embrace of a mother meant to reassure her daughter, but rather more akin to some distant stranger that might comfort you at a funeral. It was stiff, with little to no real feeling. It did nothing to assuage Alora’s heartbreak.It reminded Alora far too much of her cold hearted Grandmother. The discomfort only made her worse. It made a new emotion rise in her; anger.

With a new ferocity she stepped back and pulled out of her mother’s hold. Adalina blinked in surprise, seeming now a little irritated she wasn’t in full control of the situation.
”No.” Alora’s tone was low, but heavily laced with that dangerous anger. ”No I don’t really understand. Because if you wanted the best for your children you would have come back for me. Especially after Amelia died. I was seventeen. I was a child. and I was still left to deal with everything on my own. To make my way in the fucked up world on my own. So don’t say you wanted the best for your children. Even then if you felt I was too old, like it was too late. You could have came back for me, and you didn’t” helplessly she looked between her mother and father, hot angry tears starting to fall. Thomas seemed shocked at her admittance. He hadn’t know any of that. Adalina had always guaranteed she was in contact with Amelia, telling him Alora was alright. Thriving without them, apparently better off without the disruption of her real parents and siblings. But none of that was true, just another lie spun to make everyone feel better, except the people that mattered the most.

”You’re not taking her away from me. I won’t let you. She’s the only thing I have other than Shawn. I’m the one that’s been there for her over the last year, making sure she’s ok and getting on okay. I was at her side in the hospital. Not you. You wouldn’t even know what was going on in her life if Andrew hadn’t snitched. But eventually you showed up for her so that makes it ok right?” it was getting hard to keep her emotions under wraps now, she was close to cracking and it was clear in her high pitched tone. ”If she wants to go back with you then fine. But I know her life is here now. She wouldn’t listen to Andrew, and if she has half the guts I think she has, she won’t listen to you lot either” For once her in her life Adalina seemed to lack control, and was simply too stunned to speak. Taking a breath she shook her head as Thomas started to move towards her. Now things were sinking in with him and he glanced between his wife and his first born with a mix of hatred for Adalina and agitated concern for Alora.

Alora simply stepped back towards the door and took a breath, before venomously delivering her parting words. ”Leave Amy’s shit alone and get out of my house. You better be gone by the time I get back this evening” She had no intention of coming back this evening. She couldn’t face them again, it was an empty threat, but one she hoped worked. With that all she could do was take her leave and make sure she found Amy before their parents had gotten to her.

fin.