Casualties [Poet]

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It had been a rough year for the Aurors. With everything going on in the Wizarding world, they'd been left scrambling, trying to keep up, or get ahead of the enemy. All to often though they showed up late. Several Hogwarts students had been killed, and Claire couldn't help but feel responsible. If they'd acted faster.... Maybe they could have stopped it. The kidnapping, where some students were still missing. The attack at King's Cross....

That particular one hit Claire the hardest. She hadn't been on duty that day, and she and Casey had been at the station to pick up her siblings with her parents. They'd gotten there before her parents, to discuss how they wanted to break the news of their engagement to the rest of the Slater clan. Unfortunately only minutes later the station was attacked. Claire woke up a few days later in St. Mungos. And Casey was dead.

Claire had been on temporary leave since then. Her family thought it'd been for recovery. Partially true. But the Auror department knew better. Casey had been an Auror as well. They'd known about the relationship, and knew how heavy of a blow it'd been for her. She was finally back to work though, and ready to get going. She needed a distraction, a good distraction. To keep her from thinking about Casey. So, you'd imagine her surprise when she found out she was going to be stationed at Hogwarts this year, with several of the trainee's. She herself had finished training, so she'd expected.... well hoped she'd be in the field somewhere. It had to be a mistake, right?

So, on her first day back, she searched for the one man that might know the answer. A fellow Auror, and the one usually in charge of training. Knocking softly on his office door she pushed it open a crack. "Do you have a minute..?" She asked as she spotted Poet inside the office. Thankfully, alone.

@poet

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Poe knew Claire Slater. He knew most of the Aurors, actually, including the ones he hadn’t trained. He was in a unique position, the connection between the trainees and the Aurors they hoped to become. So yes, he knew Claire Slater. More importantly, he knew that she had been injured, and that her partner – in more ways than one – had died. He knew Claire Slater, even if he couldn’t pretend to know her pain. Poe also happened to know that she had been stationed at Hogwarts for the majority of the upcoming year, so when she opened the door to his office and asked to talk, he already had a pretty good idea of what the discussion was going to be about.

“Hi, Claire.” He said gesturing for her to come into the office. He crossed his legs casually, looking up at her with a small smile on his face. He didn’t know what she wanted as far as her position, but he could assume that being at Hogwarts wasn’t it. Since so many of the trainees were stationed there, a lot of the Aurors saw it as a lower-level assignment, soft, if you would. Poe didn’t see it that way, but he wasn’t going to come right out of the gate with all of his reasons. He would listen to Claire first. “I always have time to talk, Claire.” He said. “Hogwarts, right?” Might as well get that out of the way.

Claire Evangeline Slater

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It wasn't like there was anything wrong with Hogwarts. She'd been a student there, after all. Owed her entire education and her current career to the school. But it'd just.... pose problems. Lots of problems. Problems that she didn't feel she could emotionally handle. And she knew that she wouldn't be able to face said emotions and maintain the image that she'd work so desperately to create.

Slowly, Claire stepped into the office when he gestured for her to come in. Shutting the door behind her to ensure no one might over hear, she crossed to the chair opposite his desk and sat down. For what felt like the longest few seconds of her life, next to when she'd found out Casey was dead, she stayed silent and took a slow, deep breath. Finally she looked at her former mentor, though she wasn't smiling. A rare sight. "Yes, sir.... She finally answered, her hands clasped tightly together. "I... Are they sure that's where they want me? My brother and sister are still students. And Casey-" She stopped, almost choking on the name from emotion but managed to swallow it. "Casey's brother is a teacher. His nephew is there. Isn't that.... Isn't it a conflict of interest?"

@poet

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It was strange to see Claire without a smile on her face. In fact, this whole thing was strange – it was somber and a little sad, even though the topic of discussion wasn’t particularly heavy. It hadn’t been Poe’s choice to station Claire in Hogwarts – he didn’t have that kind of power – but he had most certainly agreed with the decision. Even if his rationale wasn’t the same as the rationale of whomever had stationed her there, Poe figured he could share his thought process. “It is a conflict of interest.” Poe answered when Claire finished. He wasn’t going to pretend that it wasn’t, because that was stupid. “But, in a way, that’s why they want you at Hogwarts.” He paused, and then decided that he might as well go for the elephant in the room. “They’re worried about how you’re coping with Casey’s death, and they want you to be surrounded by people who can help you cope with the loss in a healthy way.” Poe ran his hand through his hair. “Am I correct in understanding that your brother is a seventh year? Because that was also taken into consideration. If he gets selected to participate in the Tournament, I’m sure you’d appreciate the proximity.” Laying everything out like that made Poe seriously consider the effectiveness of the idea, but the plan was already made and being executed, so it was a difficult to back out now.

Claire Evangeline Slater

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Claire didn't expect Poet to agree with her so quickly. Her eyes widened just a touch with surprise. Well, at least he wan't sugar coating it. But if they knew it was a conflict, why had they made the decision? He didn't pause to long before finally going on to explain himself.

She should have known. Her gaze dropped to the floor as he spoke. It made sense. She knew that. It was logical. In their position, she would have made the exact same choice. But having that decision made for her? Well, people were always illogical when they were the ones on the receiving end. Taking a deep breath, she finally looked back up at her mentor. But, there was something she had to admit at this point. ".... I haven't told them... about Casey." She responded, her voice barely above a whisper. None of them knew. Not her parents, or her siblings. Casey's family, of course, knew. And of course her family knew Casey had died. But none had known they'd been dating seriously enough for Casey to propose. Heck, it was likely Grey didn't even know Claire had been dating someone to begin with. Speaking of Grey. "Yes, Grey. I... think he'll enter. But we aren't close, so I don't know for sure..." Her parents, for sure, would appreciate all three children at one place. They'd be proud that their eldest daughter was there to help protect the other two. That was her job though, right? She was the eldest.

@poet

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Oh. Well, the fact that her family didn’t know about Claire’s relationship with Casey did make things a lot more difficult when it came to being an emotional support system. Poe nodded slowly in understanding, processing that information. Poor Claire. He knew she didn’t need his pity, but that didn’t stop him for hurting for her. Poe had had to lean forward to hear Claire’s near whisper, but he leaned back when she was done, steepling his fingers as he did so. He didn’t want this to be any harder for Claire than it had to be. He could pull some strings, if it was really necessary, and he wanted Claire to know that. “If you don’t think that being at Hogwarts would be best for you, then we consider changing the placement.” Poe said with a small, reassuring smile. “It would probably be required that you stay at Hogwarts for at least a month to make sure you weren’t backing out of the placement on principle, but a replacement could be found.” Poe wasn’t technically stationed at Hogwarts, but he was going to be visiting quite a bit to make sure all of his trainees were getting on. If Claire needed a replacement, he wouldn’t mind volunteering for the spot.

“Well, if he does, I think he’d appreciate having you around.” Poe said when the conversation came back around to Claire’s brother. “The odds aren’t in his favor, with the amount of Hogwarts kids who are interested in an opportunity like the Tournament, but still.” He shrugged. There wasn’t much left to say about the situation with Claire’s younger brother until the names were actually picked from the Goblet. There was no use worrying until there was something to worry about.

Claire Evangeline Slater

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Calire knew she should have told her family. Her parents at the very least. They deserved to know. And yet, every time the idea had crossed her mind, she froze up, terrified of what they might think. That she'd... disappoint them somehow. It wasn't a logical fear, she knew that. But the fear was still there. "We were..... We were going to tell them. The day he...." She didn't continue. Rather, she couldn't. It didn't matter though, Poet would know what day she meant. The day he died. "I... How do you tell someone something like that..?" She asked honestly, almost desperate for some answer that would finally satisfy her. How did you tell your family that the ma you wanted to marry had died only hours before you were going to announce your engagement? How was she supposed to still be the strong one when it felt like half of her had been ripped away and she couldn't even tell them how much it hurt? But she also knew that it was just as unhealthy keeping something like this from them. Like he'd said, she needed to be able to cope the loss in a healthy way. Her current 'bury all emotions until she felt like breaking' definitely wasn't healthy.

And now he was making her feel like a quiter. Like she was giving up. It wasn't intentional. Well, she was making herself feel that way honestly. And she didn't quit. At anything. She'd never been permitted to, growing up. She was expected to be able to handle everything thrown at her. The perfect child. The one that did well in school. The one that had good friends. The one that was liked. The one that was talented. She'd spent her whole life working on this facade of perfection, that the mere thought of failure scared her. So, her gaze dropped to the ground, her thoughts torn. "I.... I'll try. I don't want to displace anyone else." She didn't want the other Aurors to think she was a coward, or broken.

She smiled just a touch when he said her brother would appreciate her presence if he did somehow get chosen. The chances of that happens were one in who knew how many. Probably almost every seventh year would be entering except for a rare handful. Everyone would be gunning for that spot as Champion. "You're right."

@poet

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Poe winced. He hadn’t realized that the situation with Casey and Claire had been so messy. He had known the bare details – that they hadn’t been as open with their relationship in their home lives as they had been at work – but Casey’s death had left a lot of unanswered questions swirling around. Frankly, Poe didn’t like a lot of the answers. They worried him, not just because of what they appeared to be doing, emotionally, to Claire, but also because they highlighted just how ignorant he had been of the whole situation when Casey was alive. He felt like he was slipping, somehow. It was true that Poe was getting older, he wasn’t going to deny that, but he had never had any solid evidence that he was less capable of doing his job. Until now. What else had he been missing? Small details were the most important part of the work, and now…Poe just didn’t know.

He also didn’t know how to answer Claire’s question. “I wish I could tell you that I had answers to everything, but I don’t.” He said sadly. Claire had already been through so much pain, and all Poe wanted to do was help her, but he just didn’t know. He had seen plenty of people die, had been friends with many of them, but never had he had the person that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with die. That was a whole new scale of heartache. At least he knew how to respond to her statement about displacement. “It would just displace me, Claire. You know me. Flexible as a bendy straw.” He grinned at her. He just wanted to ease the tension a little, and the comparison to a silly Muggle straw was enough for him to feel a little less awkward.

“I’m always right.” Poe said with a wink when Claire agreed to his statement about her younger brother and the Tournament. “You have a sister at Hogwarts, too, right?” Poe asked, hoping to move the conversation away from Casey and onto things that, if not happier, were at least easier to talk about. Siblings, Poe found, were a favorite subject for most people. Poe didn’t have any, so he didn’t know, but what he found was that people saw siblings as children they didn’t have to take care of. People could brag and boast about their siblings for days and not seem the least bit conceited. It was kind of like how Poe was always bragging about his trainees – no one could get mad at him for bragging about them because he had no part in them becoming the amazing people that they were. All he did was watch them shine.

Claire Evangeline Slater

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It wasn't that Claire didn't trust her family, or that she hadn't wanted them to know about the relationship. She did trust them. Heck, her parents had known she was dating Casey. Her parents had invited the two of them over for dinner a few times. They just hadn't known it was serious enough for Casey to propose. And for good reason. Her parents had been slightly... disapproving when it came to her dating. Not that they didn't want her dating. They just didn't want her getting distracted from her Career. They hadn't wanted her getting tied down, and unable to pursue 'her dreams'. The only problem? Being an auror hadn't been her dream, at first. She'd just done it because her parents wanted her to. Casey had helped her find her passion. It had been his dream, and she'd taken it on as her own. So breaking the news of the engagement was going to be a sensitive topic.... If they'd gotten to telling her parents. Part of her dreaded that if she told them now,her parents would feel sorry for her, and then say "It's all for the best though. You don't need those sort of distractions in your life right now.".

Claire let out a sigh when he admitted he didn't have the answer for everything. She shouldn't put all of this on her old mentor. At least he wasn't trying to help when he had no answer. That was strangely comforting. She didn't want a half hearted, misunderstanding answer or attempt to comfort. "No one has the answer to everything." She softly retorted. His next comment actually got a small, but genuine smile from her. "I think your recruits deserve at least a short break from under your watchful eye, sir." She knew that plenty of trainee's would be stationed at Hogwarts, getting real world experience to what they'd been learning in the program.

That smile grew a tiny it when he said he was always right. His humor was a good distraction. "Always?" Her tone suggested that at least one instance had come to mind where that wasn't true. She kept it to herself though. "Oh, yes. Addilyn. She's a sixth year now." Speaking of Addilyn. She hadn't written her sister in at least two months....

@poet

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Poe smiled at Claire when she said that no one had the answer to everything. It was nice to know that she didn’t blame him for not knowing how to fix this, or how to help her, but he still did feel some measure of guilt. “I miss the days when I was young and I thought that my parents did.” He lamented sadly. Those were the days – when he was two years old and his mother first took him up in her plane and she was the magician, not her father, because she could make the earth fall away beneath them like it was nothing at all. It was always kind of sad to see kids realize that their parents weren’t infallible. People like Claire normally saw it first, because her parents had always pushed her so hard, but Poe had had his fair share of heartache because of his parents. They were the reason he had become an Auror, after all – he had a family legacy to carry on. He knew what it was like to be shoved into a job you didn’t necessarily want, and he prayed to whatever god would listen that Claire was happy doing what she was doing, and wasn’t just staying on the force because it was what her parents wanted. She was old enough now to make her own decisions, and while Poe couldn’t say that he’d be happy to see her go, he wanted her to be happy. He wanted all his trainees to be happy, but right now it was Claire that seemed to need his prayers and wishes the most.

“Hey, why the sudden sir?” He asked Claire teasingly. It was always strange for him to be called sir – he normally insisted that even his trainees used his name with him. It was some philosophy he had read about building personal relationships with students. He liked that philosophy, so it had kind of stuck. Normally he used people calling him sir as a gauge to find when they were unhappy or uncomfortable with his presence, so the fact that Claire had used it was worrying. “Besides, no one needs a break from me. How are they going to survive without seeing this face?” Maybe it was a bit egotistical, but Poe was putting on a show. He was trying to get Claire out of the gutter, if only for a little while, and if putting on a mask did that, then so be it.

When the conversation rounded back to the siblings, Poe was relieved. They had all but left Casey behind, and while he knew it was healthy to remember Casey and to grieve for him, he also knew that it was healthy to forget sometimes, and be distracted by other, stupid things so that when you went back to grieving you felt a little lighter, instead of feeling like you had heavy boots on your feet. “Almost always right?” He tried. “Right more often than the average person?” He tried again. It was silly, but he liked silly. Silly was better than sad. “What’s she like, your sister? Good chance of her joining up and becoming an Auror after school finishes?” Poe could’ve sworn that Claire had mentioned her brother wanting to be an Auror once, but maybe he was just imagining that. Personally, he disliked when siblings followed the same career path – a lot of times, the younger one didn’t actually want to do what they were getting into, and just want to impress their older sibling, or their parents. Still, Poe would hold his tongue; it wasn’t his situation to judge.

Claire Evangeline Slater

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“I miss the days when I was young and I thought that my parents did.”

IT was meant as a joke, but Claire didn't smile. If only because in her life? That wasn't a joke. Her parents hadn't known everything. but they'd expected her to. She'd been the one that was supposed to know everything. She was supposed to have the perfect grades. The perfect social life. Succeed at every spell she cast on the first attempt. And heaven forbid if she didn't know. She knew the look her parents would give her if she failed at anything. She didn't manage to speak, just nodded.

When he chastised her for calling him sir though, her eyes widened. He'd obviously surprised her in that moment. She opened her mouth to respond, only to close it immediately. A moment later, and she tried again. "It's... It's professional. You're my superior." she tried to justify herself, even though she knew he didn't really care much about that. Sir was distancing language, something she'd been using far to much lately. As he continued though, she smiled.

That smile grew a bit. "Well, you do train the trainees. They learn by trial and error.... Do you train them because you are almost always right, or because you know the hard way how to get back up?" She managed to crack a much more free spirited joke, teasing in the same breath. It'd... been a while since she'd joked like that. "Addi? No, she's too... sweet." It wasn't meant as an insult. Claire scratched the tip of her nose, a little embarrassed. "She might be in Slytherin, but she's.... she's one of the happiest people I know. I.... I don't want her to stop smiling. Ever." An Auror? Eventually, Something would happen that would make Addi stop smiling. It was part of the job. The heart ache.... Claire d idn't want to see that happen to Addilyn.

@poet

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Poe didn’t like being called sir. No on called him sir – it was almost as bad as when people called him by his given name. He understood why Claire was doing it, of course; he was getting too close, and she needed space from that. It didn’t help that he understood, though, because the reason wasn’t exactly a good one. Claire couldn’t spend the rest of her life pushing people that cared about her away just because she was afraid that there would be another Casey, that someone else would get too close and then break her heart again. “Call me Poe.” He said firmly when she was done talking. “Superior or no, that’s my name, so people might as well use it.” There was no question about it in his voice, no ‘if you’d like’. In fact, his words sounded suspiciously like an order, which, if she was going to play the inferiority card, would have to be obeyed.

“I train them because I would’ve quit the Auror force if I didn’t get to.” Poe replied in another moment of honesty that was perhaps too harsh. He didn’t often tell people that he had considered quitting before he had taken up his current position, but it was the truth, and one that sort of answered Claire’s question. “I just worry for them, Claire. I know that they need to learn the hard way to get back up, but I also know that sometimes they need a hand, and I don’t want to be absent when they need me the most.” It was scary, to let his hatchlings leave the nest, and it was natural to want to hold onto them tighter. He had done it every other year, too – the effects were just slightly more exaggerated since he they were all in the same place, and all in palpable danger. He was glad to hear the Addilyn Slater wouldn’t be joining up like her older siblings. “Do you know what she wants to do when she graduates?” Poe asked. There were few jobs that would never steal anyone’s smile, and he hoped that Addilyn had found one of them, if only for Claire’s sake.

Claire Evangeline Slater

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Claire inhaled a deep breath, and slowly let it out. He was determined that she call him by his name. He wasn't going to let her get away with saying anything else, was he? Her eyes closed for a moment, as if making her decision, and then reopened, focused on him. "Alright, s- Poe." She corrected herself before she got to far into 'sir'. It'd... take getting used to. It'd take work. But she knew she needed to stop pushing everyone away.

His answer to why he trained was... surprising. It was simple and honest, without any sort of hesitation. But then he began to explain, and she smiled just a little. "We're lucky we have someone like you in charge of their training then." She answered with her own honestly, though not quite as blunt. It was a compliment. She knew he was a good teacher. Despite current events, there had been few Auror casualties, except for Casey and the others killed in the explosion...She swallowed, forcing those thoughts away. "I don't...." she answered, feeling a pang of guilt. "I... I still see her as my baby sister. It's hard to believe she's old enough to even be thinking about her future career." She felt like she'd missed so much the past few years, and especially the past few months. Her sister was becoming a stranger to her.

@poet

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Poe watched Claire carefully, observing her as she took a deep breath before replying to him. He didn’t know why it was such a trial for her to call him by his name, but Poe didn’t push it; she would come around when she was ready to. At least he wasn’t having to deal with being called ‘sir’ as if he was some kind of old man. He wasn’t even forty yet! Poe sighed a little, running his hand through his hair as he tried to get his mind off of that particular subject.

“I’m trying.” Poe demurred when Claire said they were lucky to have someone like him training the new Aurors. He knew that he was playing a part in keeping the newest generation of Aurors, but for every person who told him he was doing well, there seemed to be someone else who wanted to rub his student’s death in his face, a reminder that he had failed, once. Claire said that she couldn’t imagine her sister thinking about her career, and Poe couldn’t help but chuckle at that. It was funny, how time worked like that. How one moment, you were surrounded by bright-eyed teenagers, and the next, you were looking into the faces of seasoned veterans. Maybe it wasn’t siblings, but it was the same feeling. “Just don’t think about the fact that, in ten years, she could have kids of her own.” He commented, barely concealing the mischief there. He loved to make people think about the future, if only to keep them from being mired in the past.

Claire Evangeline Slater

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"You're succeeding." Claire slowly, and confidently retorted. These days, a position like his was a target. Anything bad happened, and they blamed him, other aurors, department heads, anyone related to the ministry. Why couldn't they prevent all the evil that was going on in the world? Obviously the leaders were failing in some way. But that wasn't true. If anything, those in these positions now were some of the strongest people around. They were the ones willing to step up, knowing they were putting targets on their backs. They didn't care, because someone had to do it, and they had the courage and determination to be that person.

Claire opened her mouth to respond, to immediately reject the idea of her sister with children, but no words came out. She shut her mouth, and pursed her lips together. Addi. A mother? That was a scary thought. Addi having a boyfriend, graduating school, getting a job... It was all scary. Because it meant Addi wasn't little anymore. She was growing up. And Claire didn't think she liked that. Because Addi would be exposed to the world, and have to face a lot of challenges. She just wanted to protect her younger siblings, shield them from the evils of the world. Couldn't they just stay little forever? FInally though, she managed as shaky smile "I'd rather not think that far down the road. Because then I have to consider her dating."

She ran her fingers through her hair, before glancing at a clock then back at Poe. "I... should be going. Thank you, for listening." She offered a more sincere smile as she stood, and left the small office.

@poet
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