Leave My Peace In Pieces (Dustin)

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Kinsey was glad to be on vacation. It distracted her from missing Riley, who'd been gone the last few weeks on his own trip. Sure, they still wrote one another, but that wasn't the same as seeing him. It was probably good for them to not be able to see one another daily, but that didn't mean she didn't miss him. 

However, being on family vacation was a good way to get her mind on different things, as a general rule. This one hadn't been the best, since she started it out arguing with Cara their first night, but at least they were on a beach. If things got too bad, she could just go on a walk and enjoy the sound of the ocean and the nice breeze. At the moment, she was doing just that, going on a walk on her own. She was holding her sandals in her hand and smiling at the feeling of the sand between her toes. Even with Diana and Cara here, it was still relaxing. After a minute she paused, closing her eyes and just enjoying the calm, peaceful atmosphere around her.

@dustin

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Vacation was supposed to have been fun, a time for Dustin to get to talk to his sisters after they had been away at school for a long time. It was supposed to be a time for them to all unwind and recollect before going back to the real world. Dustin was still trying to process the fact that Cara and Diana were working now – even though they weren’t that much younger than him, he had never really thought about what it would be like when they got real jobs. (Vi had a real job too, now, but Dustin hadn’t bothered asking anyone what it might be, lest he get strange looks for inquiring after someone that he wasn’t supposed to know existed.) It was also the first time that Dustin would be able to have a face-to-face conversation with Kinsey, which was the reason that, while vacation was supposed to be fun, he wasn’t going to have much fun at all. She had sent him a letter when she had started dating some boy – Riley Fudge. While Kinsey dating alone made Dustin slightly uncomfortable – she was still his baby sister, after all – the fact that she had chosen to date a pureblood was, frankly, unacceptable. He hadn’t wanted to berate Kinsey via an owl, but now… it needed to be done. Dustin had found Kinsey on the beach, and sidled up beside her, trying not to betray his nerves with his walk. “Hey.” He said quietly.

@kinsey

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Kinsey could sense someone's intentions coming up behind her, but didn't turn around. They weren't ... positive, but they also weren't negative and she didn't really know what to think about that. If they were negative, she would have instantly thought that one of her older sisters was approaching and she would have walked away, but it wasn't them. She kept her eyes closed, still smiling as the person approached closer. She realized it was Dustin just before he spoke. Her smile widened and she opened her eyes to look at her older brother. He seemed a little more subdued than normal and she wondered for a moment if maybe he was getting sick, catching what Cara had on the way up here. "Hey," she answered. "Are you okay? You seem ... off." 

@dustin

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Kinsey didn’t seem bothered by his presence, which relieved Dustin. He had worried that she was going to sense that he was negative, because what he was going to say probably wouldn’t make her happy. But he was doing it with good intentions, and that was what Kinsey could detect, right? Dustin just hoped that his intentions would be enough to make his sister that he wasn’t trying to hurt her… just protect her. Kinsey asked if he was okay, and Dustin shook his head, figuring she’d be able to tell if he lied to her. “Kins… I need to talk to you about your boyfriend.” Dustin said quietly. From what he had gleaned, Cara at least had already given her an earful about the boy, but Dustin wasn’t going to attack Riley, not specifically. Just the people like him. At the end of the day, all purebloods were the same – selfish and power-obsessed. He didn’t want his sister to get caught up in their mess.

@kinsey

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He didn't smile at her, which made Kinsey feel a little more nervous. What was going on? Why was Dustin being so serious? The two of them normally had lots of fun whenever they did something together. She felt her muscles start to tense, though she didn't know why. Why was she so nervous to talk with him? He shook his head to her question and her eyebrows furrowed as she waited for him to actually say something. When he did speak, it was saying he wanted to talk about Riley. His intentions were still positive, which was great, but she didn't understand why he was being so serious. Wasn't he happy for her, that she finally found someone she could trust enough to be in a relationship, even with her gift? "Okay," she spoke slowly, not really knowing what to say. "What about him?" her tone wasn't defensive, like it would have been if Diana or Cara tried to talk with her about Riley. She didn't care about what they had to say anymore, as a general rule. She was just curious to see why Dustin was behaving this way.

@dustin

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Dustin felt… dizzy. He knew that he was doing the right thing, but at the same time, protecting Kinsey reminded him of how he had failed to protect himself, and all of the awful aftermath of what had happened with Vi. He knew that some people would tell him that he was being stupid, by assuming that Riley and Kinsey’s relationship would end up anything like his and Vi’s, but if there was one thing that Dustin had learned about pureblood children, it was that they didn’t have a choice. They were just pawns – pawns who were dressed up to look pretty, but pawns nonetheless. If Riley wasn’t betrothed already, there was nothing that kept his parents from arranging his marriage, just the way Vi’s had been arranged. Even if he didn’t want it (had Vi wanted it? a voice in his head whispered), Riley could be pushed onto some girl, and that would be the end of it. His sister’s heart would be broken and there would be no one to blame, not really – especially since, no matter how he felt, Riley would probably give Kinsey some sob story about how he really loved her, and he would find a way out of it, and a hundred other pretty lies. That couldn’t happen. Not to his sister, not to his Kinsey. “You need to break up with him.” End it before it can be ended for you. Maybe they could still be friends – Dustin didn’t know. But he knew it needed to end before things got too far.

@kinsey

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Dustin was behaving strangely and Kinsey was starting to get worried. What was the matter with him? Then he answered her question and her mouth fell open. What? Break up with Riley? Why in the world would she ever want to do that? Why would Dustin ask her to? Did he know something about Riley that she didn't? Kinsey stood there staring at her brother, not knowing what to say. Riley was the best thing that happened to her least year, even though she hadn't really started getting to know him until April. "Why?" she asked, her voice cracking as she spoke. Why would Dustin ask her to do this? She trusted him, more than anyone else, but she couldn't understand why he wouldn't want her to be happy, why he didn't want her to date Riley.

@dustin

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Dustin wish that he could lay out the entire situation, and why Kinsey had to break up with her boyfriend, but he had resolved never to let his family know about Vi. He wanted them to keep believing that the purebloods who hated half-bloods and Muggleborns weren’t really real, and even though Vi wasn’t a monster, not like some of them… she was a bit of a bigot. He couldn’t tell Kinsey why he wanted her to do it, and Dustin knew that weakened his argument significantly… but he hoped that Kinsey had realized by now that he would never do anything to hurt her. Dustin had been protecting his little sister from practically the day she was born, and he couldn’t stop now, just because he couldn’t explain his entire thought process. “Just trust me.” He answered simply. That would have to be enough.

@kinsey

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He was asking her to trust him. Kinsey did trust Dustin. If anyone else told her to break up with Riley, she would have started arguing with them immediately. Just the fact that she asked why showed how much she trusted her big brother, but she couldn't do it. Just the thought of breaking up with Riley hurt. He was the one person at school who tried to understand her, who cared and wanted to be around her, even with the quirks that stemmed from her ability. She bit her lip hard and shook her head slowly. "Dus, I can't just ... I care about him. I do trust you, but I can't break up with him without a reason." Kinsey paused a moment, trying to think of a way to express herself. She didn't think telling Dustin that she was pretty sure she was in love with Riley was a good idea, so what could she say. "He makes me happy, and he truly cares about me," she said slowly, only in part explaining why she was dating Riley. She looked at Dustin imploringly, trying to make him understand.

@dustin

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Dustin sighed. “You can, but you won’t.” He said softly. There wasn’t anything keeping Kinsey from breaking up with Riley except for herself, but however much she claimed to trust him, it wasn’t enough. But if his sister wasn’t going to bend, neither was he – Dustin wasn’t going to give away one of his biggest secrets just because Kinsey was too stubborn to realize that he knew what was happening better than she did. “There is a reason, Kinsey, but I can’t tell you.” He said, staring at his feet in the sand for a long time. Why couldn’t his distrust be enough of a reason for her? Kinsey had only been dating this boy for a few months, but she had known Dustin literally her entire life. It seemed stupid to him that she was willing to pick one of them over the other… and Dustin wasn’t the one that she picked. “I cared about you first. And that’s why I’m asking you to do this.” Dustin replied, still surprised by just how defeated he sounded. “I can’t make you do anything, Kinsey, but until you break up with Riley… I can’t talk to you. Or be around you.” He wasn’t going to let himself be the one that she ran to when things got hard, because there was no way he could pity her the way she would need him to be. He wasn’t clairvoyant, but he had seen this story play out before, and he had seen the way it ended. Dustin couldn’t do that again.

@kinsey

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Dustin looked so sad. Kinsey knew he was trying to help, she could sense that he was being entirely honest with her but this was Riley. The only person she told about her gift, one of the only people who didn't pull away from her because of it. Dustin was the other. Those two were the people she trusted more than anyone else in the entire world and Dustin was asking her to drop Riley, to just forget about him for no reason. "Dus," she said softly, feeling bad when he said that she wouldn't. She didn't know what else to say. He said that there was a reason, but that he couldn't tell her and Kinsey's mind started racing. "Is he a bad person?" she asked, her heart already knowing the answer to that question. "Did he do something you don't approve of?" Riley was so nice to her and to everyone, she couldn't wrap her mind around what her brother was asking her to do. She just wanted to know why. If Riley did something that made Dustin want to keep him away from her, shouldn't Kinsey know about it? Shouldn't she be aware? Then he delivered his ultimatum and Kinsey stared, not understanding. "What?" her voice was hardly above a whisper. "Dustin, why? Don't you want me to be happy?" she was pleading now, her tone begging him to reconsider. "Please don't do this. Please." She didn't want to lose her brother, but she didn't want to lose Riley either. She couldn't break up with him without a reason, she just couldn't.

@dustin

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Dustin shook his head when Kinsey asked if Riley was a bad person. He had never even met the kid, so he didn’t know. But what he did know was that Riley was part of a world that was bigger than him – a world that hated people like Kinsey, and like Dustin, and thought that everything would be just peachy if only they could keep the blood pure. Riley hadn’t done anything, yet, but he was like a bomb – even if he hadn’t exploded yet, when he did, it was going to be ugly, and Kinsey was almost certainly going to be one of the casualties. His sister seemed shocked by what he had said, and Dustin just kept staring at the sand, wishing that he could take the words back. Even if it was possible to turn back time, though, Dustin wouldn’t have done it. He had made peace with the decision he was making. “All I ever wanted was for you to be happy, Kinsey.” He said, his voice dipping even lower, into a whisper. Was she trying to make him feel guilty? Because it wasn’t going to work. She could only see such a small part of the picture, and he saw the whole damn thing. Dustin wasn’t going to feel guilty for seeing more than she did, and for knowing more. If anything, his guilt came from the fact that he couldn’t show her more of what he saw without her getting hurt. “And you can still be happy. Be happy with him, be happy with me – I don’t really care. But you can’t have both.” She was going to choose Riley – that much was apparent by her begging – and that was okay. Dustin was okay. He had to be.

@kinsey

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Dustin didn't answer her questions about Riley, just shook his head and Kinsey was more confused than ever. If he wasn't bad, then why did Dustin want her to stay away from him and not date him. It just didn't make sense. Dustin wasn't changing his mind, wasn't saying that he'd still associate with her if she decided to not break up with Riley and Kinsey realized that he really meant it. He was serious. He said that he wanted her to be happy, but that she had to choose who with because if she chose Riley, he wouldn't talk with her anymore. "Why?" she asked one more time, her voice steadier than she expected. "Why are you making me choose instead of being there for me like you always have before?" Kinsey paused for a moment when a thought occurred to her. "Is this starting now? If I choose Riley, you won't talk with me or come near me for the rest of the vacation? Or can we be ourselves and have fun together for the next few days, no matter my choice?" She felt like she already knew the answer, but was hoping desperately that she didn't have to lose him yet. He had to know what choice she was going to make, the choice he was forcing her into.

@dustin

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Why couldn’t she understand that he just couldn’t say why? It was more complicated than that, and if she wanted the whole damn story – which he wasn’t going to give anyways – then the rest of their vacation would be spent talking, or miserable, or awkward. No matter which way they ended this conversation – with him confessing or not – they were both going to be upset. But this way meant that Kinsey didn’t have to lose her faith in humanity, and in the world. Dustin hoped to God that he was wrong about Riley, but what would happen if he told her why, and she chose him anyways? Then when they broke up it’d be horrible, and Kinsey would resent him for being right. “Even if I told you why, your choice wouldn’t change.” Dustin said flatly. Kinsey was blinded by her infatuation – just the way Dustin had been. And it wasn’t love, no matter how much she wanted to believe it was. It couldn’t be. “It starts now, yes.” Dustin answered. That answer was at least simple, if not easy. “Clean breaks hurt less.” Dragging it out throughout the vacation would hurt both of them, but especially Dustin. He already knew everything that he was losing. He didn’t need to be reminded of it more.

@kinsey

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She couldn't understand why he couldn't give her a reason for anything. Not only was he telling her to just trust him and dump her boyfriend for no reason, but he wouldn't tell her why he was making it a choice between the two of them, or even why he wouldn't just be there for her. She couldn't fathom it, didn't understand why Dustin hated Riley that much. They didn't even know one another, did they? She clenched her jaw, forcing herself to not show Dustin just how emotional she was becoming. Why was he doing this to her? She knew he would say it started now and a part of her wanted to punch him. Why did he have to do this at the beginning of the vacation? Couldn't he have had fun with her, been her brother at least a little bit before making her choose between him and Riley? She hadn't even seen him since he came to the second task at the school. She nodded slowly, only having one more question. "This choice," she paused, deciding to start a different way. "... if Riley and I end up breaking up in the future," she hated even considering that, "will I get you back or am I losing you forever, no matter what happens?" She knew that she was telling him her choice as she asked the question, but she just needed to know. She needed to know what she was getting into and what to expect, just in case something did ever happen between her and Riley. Dustin wasn't one to change his mind once it was decided (like it was now), so she needed to know his plans before losing him entirely.

@dustin