Full Of Broken Thoughts || Simon & Jessie

[Deleted]

Jessie sluggishly let herself in to the Svendsen Residence, somehow managing to function despite getting practically zero sleep the night before. Her brown eyes were still rimmed with red, hair mussed from lack of a brushing. What a pitiful sight she had been. She had spent several hours, wracked with tears and resentment after the party.  Her stomach lurched at the thought, seeing Simon and Claudia together at the party kissing and dancing together was still fresh in her mind. Seeing them leave together. A knot appeared in her throat, and she choked it back with whatever dignity she could muster up.  The lioness still couldn't believe she had been so stupid. To think that Simon had cared about her, in any capacity. She should have known better. It had just been a fun way to get through the summer for the half-vampire, and so it should have been for her. Now she was left with sick feeling in her gut. She simultaneously felt hollow and filled to the brim with pointless emotions. It had been a long while since she had felt so low. 

Even being in his house was hard for her, as she traveled up the staircase. At least she was alone in the mansion. It had been a relief when Sofia said no one would be around as she gathered her things. Jessie didn't have it in her to say goodbye to Mrs. Svendsen. She would send her an owl later, telling her that something had come up. She may be at odds with her son, but she would never rat him out to his mom. It was Jessie's fault anyway. She had been stupid. The bleary-eyed girl traveled to her room at the end of the hall, not noticing the open door as she passed it. Despite the solace that came with knowing that she was alone, Jessie still hurriedly gathered her things and placing them on the bed, lest someone come home while she was packing. 

simon sixten svendsen

[simon sixten svendsen]

Simon woke up already knowing he messed up. Most of his morning was spent in bed, nursing a wicked hangover. Claudia left before he woke up, leaving him with a morning of self-reflection and a tinge of guilt. Simon knew that he ditched Jessie at the Weekly party after showing up with her, but when he was with Claudia and intoxicated, he wasn't thinking about anyone else. The snake had that effect on him, and the raging teen hormones certainly didn't help. He knew that Jessie was a sweet girl and didn't deserve that sort of treatment, not when she had treated him so well. The lioness helped him academically over the past year, as well as the past week when he came home sloppily and injured himself. She was there for him and treated him with the utmost kindness and he wasn't reciprocating the actions. It was fucked up.

Simon had no idea what he was doing with his life. Sirens were going off in his head warning him when he was doing something wrong, but it wasn't enough to stop him from doing it. The half-vampire had a penchant for being reckless and it was continuing to give him grief.

Light footsteps trailed down to the end of the hallway and he heard Jessie's door open. Simon had been waiting for her to come home since he hadn't seen her in the morning. He was dreading seeing her, knowing what he did was wrong and that she would be upset. She had every right to be angry with him. Simon decided to bite the bullet, pushing himself off of his bed and sauntering over to Jessie's room. The door was cracked open so he quietly knocked on her door with the knuckle of one of his fingers, "Jessie.." he called out to the door in a soft tone, feigning nonchalance. 

@jessiemeadows

[Deleted]

Jessie's back was towards the door when a light knock came. If she hadn't been so solemn today, she might have jumped in surprise. The lioness whirled around hoping to see Sofia in her doorway. She had told Sofia what happened during their earlier correspondence, even going as far as to tell her why Simon ditching her had upset her so much. When her eyes landed on Simon, her heart dropped to her feet, and she resembled a deer in the headlights. Her first instinct was to wrap her arms around him for some comfort. That idea was quickly tossed out. She froze for a moment, before turning her back towards him. That sickening feeling in her gut twisted around. She didn't even have time to feel angry towards her best friend for telling her the house would be empty. "I'm just getting my things," she said, voice cold and without emotion. She didn't know how she had managed to seem neutral despite the swirl of emotions she was experiencing. Her hands shook slightly as she folded her things on the bed. Whether it was from rage or nerves, she didn't know.

She took a few quick steps across the room to retrieve her trunk from the closet, setting it open on the carpet in front of her bed. She was vividly aware of Simon still standing in her doorway, and a stronger wave of anger hit her. She just wanted to pack in peace. She wasn't ready to see him, let alone talk to him. The brunette quickly gathered her things off the dresser, eager to escape the mansion and flee to Lusie's castle. Normally she'd be giddy to be staying there. But these weren't the circumstances she would have wanted to leave in.

simon sixten svendsen

[simon sixten svendsen]

As Jessie turned to face him, Simon's stomach dropped. Her puffy eyes and the sadness in her voice were telltale signs of his actions have affected her deeply. And he felt horrible. This wasn't the first time he made a girl cry for stringing her along, but he didn't want to make Jessie Meadows cry, ever. Simon fancied her, he just had odd ways of showing it. All he wanted to do was wrap her in his arms and apologize, but he knew not to touch her when she was upset.

Simon remained in the entrance of the doorway, not daring to step into her personal space. Jessie told him that she was grabbing her things as she pulled out her trunk, the words struck him as a surprise because he didn't think that she would leave. His face softened, unable to hide the disappointment. "Wait, Jessie," he forced out, "Where are you going?" he asked her quickly, stepping into the bedroom and no doubt getting in her way.


@jessiemeadows

[Deleted]

His voice, thick with an accent sent her off the rails, as he stepped into her room. Jessie whirled around to face him, face red. But for the first time in what seemed like ages, it was colored from anger. Not bashfulness, not from their making out. "I'm going to Lusie's, okay? And I don't need to clear it by you. You certainly left the party without any whims, so why shouldn't I do the same?" she bit out, eyes throwing daggers at the handsome boy in her room. Well, what used to be her room. Massive waves of anger continued rolling over her, as she stewed over what to say next. Jessie crossed her arms, trying to cool herself. She didn't know why she was trying so hard to restrain herself. He deserved her temper, at its' fullest.

Jessie tried to go back to packing, hands still shaking. He didn't deserve an explanation. She didn't get one. Not that she really gave him the time too... But what excuse could he possibly have? The Lioness was sure it would be a lame, futile excuse. Another bubbling of disappointment surmounted her self-control, and she turned to face him. "Can you leave me alone? Please," she asked, voice wavering just the slightest. There was so much she wanted to say to him. To give him a piece of her mind. Jessie wasn't sure she could make it through without dissolving into tears. She didn't want him to see her like that. What she would give to just go back to a couple of days ago.

simon sixten svendsen

[simon sixten svendsen]

Simon was at a loss for words. It wasn't often that it happened but with Jessie it was becoming a lot more frequent. He knew whatever he said was going to be wrong, so he wasn't sure if he should say anything at all. Jessie informed him that he would be staying at Lusie's, biting his cheek at what she said next. The half-vampire deserved any grief she decided to dish his way.

She told him to leave her alone, her words causing his face to flush red. Simon couldn't remember the last time he had upset Jessie. It didn't feel glorious like it used to in class or the library. Now true emotions were fuelling the equation and making everything more complicated. Simon stepped toward the lioness, icy blue eyes seeking her gaze, "Jessie, I, uh, I wasn't thinking..." he told her lamely, though it was the best he had at that moment. A lump was forming in his throat and he couldn't think of anything else to say to her. Sorry would have been a good start but he was a frazzled idiot and believe it or not Simon Svendsen had never been good at apologizing for anything, even when it was his fault.

@jessiemeadows

[Deleted]

Her eyes blazed as he meekly attempted to apologize. Right. It was as lame as she figured it would be. Jessie stared harshly at the half vampire, flooding with anger. Her pulse burned with a feverish vexation, pummeling through her like a freight train. Self restraint be damned, she thought, as she unloaded on Simon. "Damn right you weren't thinking! Clearly neither was I, this entire time," her words coming out in a fast, unbridled way. Her nostrils flared as she continued on, a fire being spread within her. "For fuck's sake, Simon. I have feelings for you! And I was convinced you felt the same way. I know believing that was partially my fault, but you didn't make it easy to not like you. Every single move I made, you reciprocated," she yelled, hot tears threatening to cascade down her cheeks.

The sudden burst of emotions frightened her, but it was the realest thing she had ever felt. It was far worse than any argument they had had back at school. It was painful this time. The brunette wasn't going to hold back now. "Maybe it was stupid to think you cared for me, or to not talk about whatever was happening between us. But you strung me along, took me to a party and you...you left with her," she choked out, the last sentence threatening to break her. She pulled in a deep breath to steady herself, and blinked away the wetness in her eyes. "I was just a fun little plaything for you until something better came along. Or came back, rather." Merlin, she probably looked beyond pathetic. "Here I was, ready to sleep with you," she laughed bitterly, wiping at her cheeks. She was beyond glad that it ended up not happening. The lioness couldn't imagine how much worse that would have been this situation.

simon sixten svendsen

[simon sixten svendsen]

The lion was beginning to feel defensive. Jessie's words hurt but he knew he deserved it. He attempted to maintain a stoic expression, quiet as Jessie told him how she felt. Simon knew that she liked him because she made it clear as day on multiple occasions, but to hear her confirm it out loud made his heart drop. He didn't want to hurt Jessie. The lioness meant more to him than he wanted to admit and it scared him, so he wouldn't.

Simon clenched his jaw, icy blue saucers matching her fiery look. He wasn't going to let her win, she was already on the brink of crying so it wouldn't be that hard to break her, especially if he maintained his calmness. Simon was selfish and hurting, he was going to play along with her. He wasn't a man of many words in arguments, probably due to Swedish being his first language, it took a lot more thinking. Getting words jumbled would make him look like an idiot. Well, more of an idiot than he already appeared to be to her.

Once she finished talking Simon couldn't help but laugh, only because of her bitter laughter after saying she was ready to sleep with him. It was also great fuel to her anger in moments like these. "For the record, I never wanted a girlfriend, Jessie," he said in a harsh tone as if she wasn't good enough. Simon maintained the poker face, his voice unwavering. "Consider it a good thing this happened now and not later because either way, I was going to end up breaking your heart." he shrugged to feign nonchalance, "Sorry to disappoint you." he told her with no emotion, creeping backwards for the door but not leaving yet. If Jessie were to say anything more to extend the fight he was all ears, for now.

@jessiemeadows  

[Deleted]

A look of disbelief hit her expression, as the Lioness listened to Simon speak. How easy it was for him to make her feel like dirt on the bottom of his shoe. It hurt. Every single word and syllable grated against her, taking more and more out of her. His words and tone stung her, a level of contempt in his voice unlike any he had ever had. More angry tears welled up in her eyes, face red from a mixture of anger and humiliation. Jessie could feel her resolved fading, her pride now suffering greatly as the hollow, aching feeling in her chest grew in size. How dare he? "And I hadn't planned on spending my time with a child," she replied, aiming to hurt him back. It was a feeble attempt, but it was something. Her anger coaxed her to take a few strides forward, hand twitching to make contact with his left cheeks. A great bout of sadness overwhelmed her, stopping her dead in her tracks. She stood there looking at him, a wounded expression on her face. 

She tried to remain as steady as possible, but his words and attitude had efficiently chipped away at her. She wanted to scream at him, to call him horrible names. But he had sucked the energy right out of her, and her shoulders sagged from exhaustion. Jessie wanted nothing more than to go back to days ago, and forget what he had done last night, as well as what he had said today. She wanted to take her words back to. The urge to fall into him, to embrace and kiss, gnawed at her. Any kind of comfort, she wanted. But her spirit was defeated. "You didn't disappoint anyone, Simon," she said, voice dead and lifeless. "You behaved exactly as everyone thought you would," she informed him.

simon sixten svendsen

[simon sixten svendsen]

Time was going in slow motion. The longer he stood in the guest bedroom, the more his frustration began to intensify inside of him. Simon couldn't believe he and Jessie had gotten to this point. The past few weeks had been phenomenal bonding and stealing kisses from her, he enjoyed every moment he had with her. Everything between them was blossoming into something amazing but he decided to be selfish and fuck everything up like he did everything. The world they created was slowly starting to crumble underneath their feet. Simon didn't have much else to say, but he found himself frozen from her words. They struck him like a knife. He couldn't remember a time Jessie's words meant so much to him and it bothered him. Everything hurt.

Simon froze and blinked at Jessie as the palm of her hand made contact with his face as she slapped him, hard. The skin on his cheek stung with unforgivable redness and he breathed in through his nose to steady himself from the lash. Simon was officially done interacting with the lioness, he didn't want to do or say anything else in fear of messing things up further beyond repair. Simon swallowed, stepping back from Jessie as he clenched his jaw with a straight face. "Okay, well, have a nice time at the castle," he said simply, turning on his heel and walking out of the bedroom. Simon quickly walked to his bedroom and closed the door without another word. 

END SIMON

@jessiemeadows

[Deleted]

Her hand stung from the blow she landed on his cheek. She was horrified by her action, but it didn't make her want to apologize. It felt good, and she didn't know how long it would feel satisfying for, but she was going to milk it. Jessie didn't stop him from leaving, and her eyes watched him exit her room, before hearing his door shut. The last of her energy leaving her, she collapsed on the bed. She was still for several moments, before the floodgates opened and her cheeks became wet with her tears. She cried for several minutes, letting it out now that she was alone, and Simon wasn't there to see her. She let it go on like that for a bit, before wiping her face dry. She needed to leave. Continuing to pack was now more rushed than it had been before, and it only took her a half hour to get everything packed and ready to go. As she pulled her trunk towards the open door, her doe brown eyes glancing around the room one last time. It really had been a dream suite to the lioness.

The short girl trudged down the hallway, stopping briefly by Simon's door. The thought of apologizing bounced around in her head. She probably shouldn't have slapped him. But the images of him and Claudia kissing and dancing came back to her. Screw apologizing, she thought, descending down the staircase and out of the front door.

simon sixten svendsen