did i tell you that i loved you today | one shot

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grey clouds rolled in overhead and the day was almost eerily quiet as teddy lupin walked, his hands shoved deep into the pockets of his jacket and his feet barely making any noise as they hit the grass beneath him. he felt the soft touch of rain drops start to hit his cheek as the heavens above him started to shower the world below them in water. it was cool but not enough to be considered cold although teddy could feel something of a chill in his bones. though he wasn't sure it was from the rain falling around him. it had been a hell of a time and he was doing his best to keep himself together but every day was a struggle and it was getting harder and harder to justify getting out of bed in the mornings or to not fall into bed at night with a bottle in his hand. he was tired of loosing people. tired of having to say goodbye to the people he'd loved. he'd said goodbye to victoire while saying goodbye to harry. the death of his godfather had been too much of a driving wedge between them at the time, both focused on things they'd thought more important than each other, both refusing to believe what everyone had been trying to tell them was the truth. he knew he'd never loose vic fully, she was still one of the people he was closest too in the world but there was no more confiding in her, no more laying there with her arms around him, making him feel like there was nothing in the world that could hurt him.

he ducked his head a little lower as the rain started to fall heavier against his shoulders, seemingly mimicking the path his thoughts were taking. there was part of him that hoped beyond logic that hermione's death was just like harry's had been. her going into hiding to protect her family. he knew it wasn't true, he'd been there when she'd been killed, seen what had happened with his own eyes and powerless to stop it but that didn't stop some small part of his brain hoping that she'd shock them all one day and turn up just like harry had. that was the easier thought to get lost in, the reality was still too raw, too painful to think about still. it had caused rifts, breakages in the tiny threads of life in so many ways, starting with ourborous, there was dissension in the ranks, at least in teddy's eyes.

he trusted ginny and parvati with his life, he'd known both of them almost as long as he'd been alive but he couldn't bring himself to trust casimir. there was something about him that didn't sit well, the way he was trying to dissuade them from focusing on the purifiers and turn their attention to what vic was doing? right after one of their own had been killed? that didn't make sense to him. it would never make sense to him. he walked in silence for a few moments before reaching where he'd been walking too. the one place he'd gone as a kid to find clarity. where he'd gone to feel connected to something and to talk to the person he'd always wished desperately he could talk to. he sank down next to the stone, sitting in the grass while the water continued to fall slowly around him.

"hi mum. it's been a while ..."