Post by Deleted on Dec 9, 2020 12:14:52 GMT -7
CW: Death, PTSD, Loss, depression? I'm not sure which others are supposed to join it >.>
Ilija looked at Hannah with a slight smile on his face. It had been a lot more difficult to smile since they'd lost Floyd but today hadn't been too bad. He wrapped her in his arms and kissed the top of her head. "Hello gorgeous." He whispered softly. "Did you sleep well?" She smiled at him, the sadness only a hint in her eyes today. She nodded mutely but smiled at him encouragingly. "It's been getting better. I've been considering maybe redecorating? Just in case we decide to try again." Her eyes were glimmering with a sense of hope and Ilija laughed easily. She'd looked forward to being a mother so much that he couldn't blame her. He pushed a lock of hair out of her face and kissed her fondly. "I like that idea. We should first make sure we've recovered though." He stroked her cheek gently and she rolled her eyes slightly but stood on tiptoes to kiss him fondly. "I know. Just promise we'll try again when we're ready? I want to hold out hope it'll go better next time, if you're up for that." He laughed fondly and wrapped his arms around her, lifting her off the ground and spinning around wit her in his arms. They both laughed joyfully. She couldn't stop grinning as he put her back down again. She punched him slightly, all in good fun. "I don't get how you're so cheerful despite everything." She said, shaking her head slightly. "But I like it." He merely shrugged in response. "How can I not be happy when I have you?"
They'd had a quick breakfast before heading out. Just simple eggs an bacon on toast. Hannah loved it and had made them both some chocolate milk (her own personal recipe) before they headed out. Nothing like chocolate to start the day with a smile. She'd always said as she smiled and started her drink. Ilija joined her, feeling blessed as her smile lit up his life. She'd been so much happier these last few days and it brought him comfort. No matter how hard it was now, they were going to get through it, together. There was nothing they couldn't face as long as they were together. He'd quickly finished his chocolate milk and hugged her before they'd headed out.
They had a tomb planned. It was supposedly meticulously trapped and belonged to an ancient and powerful family. The beginning had been easy enough. They were both in a good mood and at the top of their game. They'd gotten through several rooms without even a hitch, which was pretty good for their standard lately. They'd had a few closer calls after they'd lost Floyd where they hadn't paid enough attention. It had led to a pretty nasty mark on Hannahs leg but nothing too bad. It would heal in time, so the healers had said. So far Ilijah had gotten away with a few nasty cuts and a barely dodged curse that had turned his eyebrows ashed for a day. All in all, nothing too horrible. Yet as they entered the next room, Ilija felt Hannah pause. He walked over, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder. "What's wrong Hannah?" He asked gently, following the line of her gaze.
There, on a pedestal in the middle of the room stood a small tomb, definitively not for any of the adults. Ilija felt shivers run up his spine. He knew exactly what Hannah was thinking about. It was just like little Floyd's coffin before they'd burried him. He squeezed her shoulder. "We can turn back." He said gently, rubbing her shoulder before gently turning him towards her. Her eyes were sad as she tore them from the tiny little tomb. "Do you think they were like us? Did they miss their child too?" Ilija knew it was better to let Hannah deal with it than try to force her to forget about it for now. It would just take up too much space in her head. He smiled gently and pointed at some of the markers around the little tomb. "A lot. Look at all those runes of protection. I think trying to rob that little one's tomb would be more dangerous than robbing the parents." She seemed satisfied with his answer, nodding grimly as she took a step back, checking out all the runes for herself. Luckily for them they hadn't been charged to take an artifact from that specific tomb, as he was pretty sure that Hannah wouldn't have managed. He pulled her close and hugged her for a moment. "Are you okay to go on? Or would you like to go back? We can take as long as you need." She took a deep breath and he could feel she was trying to hold back tears. He was of half a mind to just coax her out but their relationship was based on trust so if she said she could do it, he had to trust her. That way they kept honest with each other.
He felt her take one last shaky breath before pulling back and shaking herself slightly. He nodded briefly and smiled. "I'm good to go again." He smiled and kissed her fondly. "Okay. I figured we could take the left door. It seems to lead in deeper. I haven't had time yet to check for traps." He mused and Hannah grinned weakly, walking to the door to look for runes on the doorframe. It took them only ten minutes to disable all the traps and moments later the door opened with the usual grinding noise of stone over stone. It wasn't the most pleasant noise and Hannah pulled a face. "Hate that noise." She muttered as she shone light through the door before stepping through. The room was luxurious and well decorated. Hannah nodded with a watered down smile on her face. "Looks like you were right." She said, carefully looking around before moving further in. They were almost at the site they expected the artefact now. Hannah motioned silently towards one of the statues that held a big weapon and Ilija nodded before heading off to investigate.
He'd found a few runes that looked simple but troublesome if they got activated. They seemed pretty old and worn, clearly here since before the artefact itself got placed. Behind him he heard Hannah mutter a few spells a she investigated the dais towards the pedestal that held the artefact they were supposed to recover. He leaned in a little closer to look at one of the runes. It seemed fire involved. Nothing too interesting. He leaned back, balancing his weight again as he prepared to mutter a counter curse.
Click.
It was never a good sign when noises started that they had not explicitly expected and Ilija almost gave himself a whiplash as he turned around to look at Hannah. For just one moment, the slightly sliver of a second he saw her, looking straight at him with an expression he'd remember forever. Shock, surprise, regret and somewhere below all of that, the one thing he always saw in her eyes. Love. That one second seemed to last forever as the flames crept around her, almost as if to softly embrace her before they consumed the image that had been her. Ilija stepped towards her, forgetting everything before a deafening explosion shook the entire room. He felt himself blasted backwards in the impact of the explosion. An agonising pain shot through his right leg and he felt something trickle down his neck into the back of his shirt and he came to from the original impact. He felt dazed and fear had gripped his heart.
"Hannah?!" He called out, fearing that she wouldn't answer, knowing that she couldn't. Even if the flames had not consumed her he knew that the explosion wouldn't have left much, if anything at all of her. He didn't want to believe it, or even accept it was an option. He felt the aching in his throat as he called her name, again and again, each time more desperate, more hurt. "Hannah!" His voice felt raw and he was dizzy. He knew he didn't have much time. He scrambled for his wand, feeling a thin layer of blood over the surface of the floor. There was a thin layer of blood on the walls near where she had been, but it wasn't her. No, Hannah would be outside. He clung to the idea as he clung to his life, desperately dragging himself out of the room, to be away from the impact of the explosion. With all due effort he managed to conjure a patronus, his last one.
Hannah was coming home tonight and they were redecoration the baby room.
-----
He woke up in the hospital, not knowing how much time had passed. He noted cards, but they were few in number. His leg still hurt, but his head had stopped aching. He felt desolate and empty and he missed the bar of chocolate on his bedstand. So it was true then, Hannah was either gone or badly injured. He knew as he felt his heart contract as he heaved in broken tears. People rushed to his bed, checking to see if he was fine. They soon enough figured it was loss, not a physical kind of pain that was raging through his body. It felt like hours until his body ached so much he couldn't cry any longer. The pain in his leg was unbearable, yet he'd seen there was no leg. There was a void inside of him now. He could almost feel it's pitch black gaping mouth staring at him from every shadow. He felt drained and empty as the healers came in, writing things down. The scratching of their quill on paper a welcome distraction from the thoughts in his head. He fell asleep once again, exhausted.
He would have given anything to back that one second upon hours of life. That one second that had changed his life forever. That one moment would last a lifetime. It was like a death sentence, but one that would unfold painfully slow. He didn't know how to go on without her. Everything seemed bleak and colourless now.
It was days before he ate again, barely drinking more than what was absolutely needed. It was weeks before he started responding normally when asked questions. Months before he found the will to try and pick up the scattered parts of his life. He kept on going through the motions without much will or desire to do them. People suggested he could retire, but that was something he always instantly shut down. "No." He would say, shortly and not opening it up for argument. "I didn't work this hard to be thrown out like damaged goods. As long as I can do my job, I will. What's the point of learning to walk if you're going to put me behind a desk. If you retire me I'll chop the prosthetic off." His fierce look and knowing how much effort it had taken him to regain mobility had been enough to stop them from retiring him. It was clear that his sense of self preservation wasn't strong enough to outlast their arguments. Not that the kobolts cared, they were just happy to have him keep up the work. Bring home more treasure.
Though to him, the greatest treasure of all could never be recovered.
Ilija looked at Hannah with a slight smile on his face. It had been a lot more difficult to smile since they'd lost Floyd but today hadn't been too bad. He wrapped her in his arms and kissed the top of her head. "Hello gorgeous." He whispered softly. "Did you sleep well?" She smiled at him, the sadness only a hint in her eyes today. She nodded mutely but smiled at him encouragingly. "It's been getting better. I've been considering maybe redecorating? Just in case we decide to try again." Her eyes were glimmering with a sense of hope and Ilija laughed easily. She'd looked forward to being a mother so much that he couldn't blame her. He pushed a lock of hair out of her face and kissed her fondly. "I like that idea. We should first make sure we've recovered though." He stroked her cheek gently and she rolled her eyes slightly but stood on tiptoes to kiss him fondly. "I know. Just promise we'll try again when we're ready? I want to hold out hope it'll go better next time, if you're up for that." He laughed fondly and wrapped his arms around her, lifting her off the ground and spinning around wit her in his arms. They both laughed joyfully. She couldn't stop grinning as he put her back down again. She punched him slightly, all in good fun. "I don't get how you're so cheerful despite everything." She said, shaking her head slightly. "But I like it." He merely shrugged in response. "How can I not be happy when I have you?"
They'd had a quick breakfast before heading out. Just simple eggs an bacon on toast. Hannah loved it and had made them both some chocolate milk (her own personal recipe) before they headed out. Nothing like chocolate to start the day with a smile. She'd always said as she smiled and started her drink. Ilija joined her, feeling blessed as her smile lit up his life. She'd been so much happier these last few days and it brought him comfort. No matter how hard it was now, they were going to get through it, together. There was nothing they couldn't face as long as they were together. He'd quickly finished his chocolate milk and hugged her before they'd headed out.
They had a tomb planned. It was supposedly meticulously trapped and belonged to an ancient and powerful family. The beginning had been easy enough. They were both in a good mood and at the top of their game. They'd gotten through several rooms without even a hitch, which was pretty good for their standard lately. They'd had a few closer calls after they'd lost Floyd where they hadn't paid enough attention. It had led to a pretty nasty mark on Hannahs leg but nothing too bad. It would heal in time, so the healers had said. So far Ilijah had gotten away with a few nasty cuts and a barely dodged curse that had turned his eyebrows ashed for a day. All in all, nothing too horrible. Yet as they entered the next room, Ilija felt Hannah pause. He walked over, putting a comforting hand on her shoulder. "What's wrong Hannah?" He asked gently, following the line of her gaze.
There, on a pedestal in the middle of the room stood a small tomb, definitively not for any of the adults. Ilija felt shivers run up his spine. He knew exactly what Hannah was thinking about. It was just like little Floyd's coffin before they'd burried him. He squeezed her shoulder. "We can turn back." He said gently, rubbing her shoulder before gently turning him towards her. Her eyes were sad as she tore them from the tiny little tomb. "Do you think they were like us? Did they miss their child too?" Ilija knew it was better to let Hannah deal with it than try to force her to forget about it for now. It would just take up too much space in her head. He smiled gently and pointed at some of the markers around the little tomb. "A lot. Look at all those runes of protection. I think trying to rob that little one's tomb would be more dangerous than robbing the parents." She seemed satisfied with his answer, nodding grimly as she took a step back, checking out all the runes for herself. Luckily for them they hadn't been charged to take an artifact from that specific tomb, as he was pretty sure that Hannah wouldn't have managed. He pulled her close and hugged her for a moment. "Are you okay to go on? Or would you like to go back? We can take as long as you need." She took a deep breath and he could feel she was trying to hold back tears. He was of half a mind to just coax her out but their relationship was based on trust so if she said she could do it, he had to trust her. That way they kept honest with each other.
He felt her take one last shaky breath before pulling back and shaking herself slightly. He nodded briefly and smiled. "I'm good to go again." He smiled and kissed her fondly. "Okay. I figured we could take the left door. It seems to lead in deeper. I haven't had time yet to check for traps." He mused and Hannah grinned weakly, walking to the door to look for runes on the doorframe. It took them only ten minutes to disable all the traps and moments later the door opened with the usual grinding noise of stone over stone. It wasn't the most pleasant noise and Hannah pulled a face. "Hate that noise." She muttered as she shone light through the door before stepping through. The room was luxurious and well decorated. Hannah nodded with a watered down smile on her face. "Looks like you were right." She said, carefully looking around before moving further in. They were almost at the site they expected the artefact now. Hannah motioned silently towards one of the statues that held a big weapon and Ilija nodded before heading off to investigate.
He'd found a few runes that looked simple but troublesome if they got activated. They seemed pretty old and worn, clearly here since before the artefact itself got placed. Behind him he heard Hannah mutter a few spells a she investigated the dais towards the pedestal that held the artefact they were supposed to recover. He leaned in a little closer to look at one of the runes. It seemed fire involved. Nothing too interesting. He leaned back, balancing his weight again as he prepared to mutter a counter curse.
Click.
It was never a good sign when noises started that they had not explicitly expected and Ilija almost gave himself a whiplash as he turned around to look at Hannah. For just one moment, the slightly sliver of a second he saw her, looking straight at him with an expression he'd remember forever. Shock, surprise, regret and somewhere below all of that, the one thing he always saw in her eyes. Love. That one second seemed to last forever as the flames crept around her, almost as if to softly embrace her before they consumed the image that had been her. Ilija stepped towards her, forgetting everything before a deafening explosion shook the entire room. He felt himself blasted backwards in the impact of the explosion. An agonising pain shot through his right leg and he felt something trickle down his neck into the back of his shirt and he came to from the original impact. He felt dazed and fear had gripped his heart.
"Hannah?!" He called out, fearing that she wouldn't answer, knowing that she couldn't. Even if the flames had not consumed her he knew that the explosion wouldn't have left much, if anything at all of her. He didn't want to believe it, or even accept it was an option. He felt the aching in his throat as he called her name, again and again, each time more desperate, more hurt. "Hannah!" His voice felt raw and he was dizzy. He knew he didn't have much time. He scrambled for his wand, feeling a thin layer of blood over the surface of the floor. There was a thin layer of blood on the walls near where she had been, but it wasn't her. No, Hannah would be outside. He clung to the idea as he clung to his life, desperately dragging himself out of the room, to be away from the impact of the explosion. With all due effort he managed to conjure a patronus, his last one.
Hannah was coming home tonight and they were redecoration the baby room.
-----
He woke up in the hospital, not knowing how much time had passed. He noted cards, but they were few in number. His leg still hurt, but his head had stopped aching. He felt desolate and empty and he missed the bar of chocolate on his bedstand. So it was true then, Hannah was either gone or badly injured. He knew as he felt his heart contract as he heaved in broken tears. People rushed to his bed, checking to see if he was fine. They soon enough figured it was loss, not a physical kind of pain that was raging through his body. It felt like hours until his body ached so much he couldn't cry any longer. The pain in his leg was unbearable, yet he'd seen there was no leg. There was a void inside of him now. He could almost feel it's pitch black gaping mouth staring at him from every shadow. He felt drained and empty as the healers came in, writing things down. The scratching of their quill on paper a welcome distraction from the thoughts in his head. He fell asleep once again, exhausted.
He would have given anything to back that one second upon hours of life. That one second that had changed his life forever. That one moment would last a lifetime. It was like a death sentence, but one that would unfold painfully slow. He didn't know how to go on without her. Everything seemed bleak and colourless now.
It was days before he ate again, barely drinking more than what was absolutely needed. It was weeks before he started responding normally when asked questions. Months before he found the will to try and pick up the scattered parts of his life. He kept on going through the motions without much will or desire to do them. People suggested he could retire, but that was something he always instantly shut down. "No." He would say, shortly and not opening it up for argument. "I didn't work this hard to be thrown out like damaged goods. As long as I can do my job, I will. What's the point of learning to walk if you're going to put me behind a desk. If you retire me I'll chop the prosthetic off." His fierce look and knowing how much effort it had taken him to regain mobility had been enough to stop them from retiring him. It was clear that his sense of self preservation wasn't strong enough to outlast their arguments. Not that the kobolts cared, they were just happy to have him keep up the work. Bring home more treasure.
Though to him, the greatest treasure of all could never be recovered.
