build higher walls around me [elias]

[Deleted]

dear elias,

Oh, so he's one of those serious, moral-compassy guys? I realize that sound probably sounds bad when I write it down, but I promise it's not meant to be an insult. Well, not that much of an insult. As for the tasks being dangerous...yeah, but you expected that when you signed up, right? I'm not saying that I hope you get hurt, but...you did sign up for it. That's why you have to be of age to put your name in the Goblet. My dad tried to put his name in when he was underage. He failed.

Trust me, I've got an entire anti-sadness arsenal. It's not good when the employees of a joke shop aren't happy!

sincerely,
fred

@jill6

[Deleted]

Dear Fred,

Well, I suppose you could say that...but I wouldn't assume it to be an insult. There isn't anything wrong with following your moral-compass. Almost everyone I know does so. And yes, I knew that before I put my name in the Goblet. But it's a different feeling when you know you're chosen and you're the one doing these tasks.

Sincerely,

Elias Greyback

@fred

[Deleted]

dear elias,

I don't know about you, but I can ignore my moral compass all the time. That's why I can play pranks on people without feeling guilty! The first task is getting pretty close - how are you feeling? Have you heard anything about it? I mean, I don't think you're allowed to say anything, but I figured I'd ask again. Sorry. Letters are hard. I owled my cousin, and I'm trying to tell her I'm gay, but I don't really know how, and the last time didn't really go all that well...

sincerely,
fred

@jill6

[Deleted]

Dear Fred,

I'm feeling okay. A bit nervous of course, and I've studied multiple things and gotten advice from my mentor but I'm also excited. I have absolutely no idea what the task is going to be, I'm sorry. It's going to be a shock for everyone! Let's hope I've got enough knowledge under my belt to figure it out, though.

No reason to apologize, Fred. It's completely understandable. What do you mean by the last time? I'm not sure how you'd really tell someone that, but you could just be straightforward about it? The only cousin of yours I've met is Lily, so I couldn't say how they may react. But if it's a bad reaction, don't let it bother you. You're a great person either way.

Sincerely,

Elias Greyback

@fred

[Deleted]

dear elias,

I…the last time I came out to someone, it was a group of my friends. And one of them made an offensive joke, and I got angry, and I left, and…and I haven’t spoken to any of them since. And I know that when you come out you’re always supposed to expect the best but prepare for the worst, and I thought I was prepared, but I thought they loved me. I thought they wanted me. And I know it’s not their job to chase after me, but I thought…I thought you were supposed to do that. Chase after the people that you love, no matter how angry they’re going to be at you because of it. I thought that they wanted to me. I just want to be wanted, Eli. I don’t know how to exist when I’m not wanted. I’m sorry. This is the last thing you need right now. Just ignore me. Ignore the tear stains.

sincerely,
fred

@jill6

[Deleted]

Dear Fred,

I'm sorry Fred. I truly am. Those who love you should chase after you, you're not wrong about that. They should want you to be around and they should want you to feel loved. You are totally right, that is what you're supposed to do. And I wish they would've done that for you, because you don't deserve this sadness. You deserve happiness, and friendship, and love...I have my own secrets...

Don't apologize. I want to help you, in any way I can. Please don't pull away, this is obviously hurting you. Write back soon.

Sincerely,

Elias Greyback

@fred

[Deleted]

dear elias,

I don't know what to do. Because I can't go crawling back to them. I won't, because I didn't do anything wrong and I'm not going to grovel because of who I am. Maybe this is for the better. Maybe some people are just meant to be alone. I don't know how you can help, because I can't make you want me any more than I can make myself stop wanting you. I'm so frustrated and I don't know how to say any of it, and I just...I need to clear my head but I don't even know what makes it clear anymore. I want James. You should sleep. Good luck tomorrow.

sincerely,
fred

@jill6

[Deleted]

Dear Fred,

I don't think anyone is meant to be alone. Maybe for a short period of time but not forever. Life wouldn't be happy if you were alone forever...

You... You want me? Why?

Also, you don't have to make me want you Fred. I already do.

Not sure who James is, but if you need him, go get him. I'm sure he'll help. Sleep well.

Sincerely,

Elias Greyback

@fred

[Deleted]

dear elias,

Well, then it would follow that some people aren't meant to be happy. I've always kind of thought that, that I was condemned to a life of sadness and death because I was named after a dead guy, and a dead guy who died young, to boot.

That's not important. And also something I shouldn't be saying in a letter. If I see you after the Tournament, maybe? I don't know if you'll get this letter before you have to go, but if you do...look for me. I'll be there.

James is my cousin. It's fine. I'm being stupid. See you when I see you.

sincerely,
fred

@jill6

[Deleted]

Dear Fred,

Don't think that way, otherwise it might happen. Think good thoughts, and you might be surprised at how your life turns out.

Sorry it's so short, I'm getting ready to leave. I'll look for you, I promise. I hope we can talk after, I'd like to see you, even if it is just from afar. You're not stupid, he's family. Family is important.

Sincerely,

Elias Greyback

@fred