i never want to live to see it break (liam)

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River wasn't sure why he found himself at the gate of the Shrieking Shack right now. Maybe it was because Vi had told him that there was a meeting for the Purifiers there a while back, while Elaine was still in school. Maybe it was because he had always wanted to go inside, out of curiosity, but never allowed himself to because it was teeeechnically not allowed? He actually wasn't sure about that.

But mostly he was standing here because it was a place Simralin had always talked about. She was fascinated by it, always saying that they should go in together. Sadly, they never got he chance when he lost her during the Yule Ball...

He heard a noise behind him and quickly turned around, wand drawn. But, upon seeing who it was, he slowly lowered the wand, "Liam? What are you doing here?"

@liam

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It was a Hogsmeade weekend for the students at Hogwarts, which was the exact reason why Liam was walking down the streets. He hadn't seen his brother for months and the two of them weren't particularly good at sending owls, though Liam tried every now and again. Mostly, he wanted to talk to his brother and make sure that River didn't think Liam was angry with him. He wasn't, he just didn't know how to react to the fact that River was already married. So young. And just to please their deceased parents. To Liam it was stupid, but obviously River didn't feel that way. 

He saw his brother enter the village, making his way straight to the Shrieking Shack. Liam followed at a distance, definitely surprised that this was where River wanted to go. What was going on with him? He lagged behind a bit, but when his brother just stood there staring at the building, Liam decided to approach. His eyebrows lifted when River spun around with his wand drawn, but he didn't comment on that fact. Instead, he gave a hesitant smile, "Looking for you, of course. I saw you in the village, but you were too far away to hear me." Not that he called out. Liam didn't like drawing attention to himself, which was why he simply followed his brother. "What are you doing here?" he echoed River's question, looking around them curiously. 

@river

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Liam answered, saying he had been looking for River and followed him from the village. "Oh, sorry. Sorry. I was distracted. Not paying attention," he admitted. Liam asked what he was doing there and River glanced back at the house then turned back to his brother. "Oh, you know - just trying to decide if I want to get haunted today," he answered, then chuckled.

He stepped up to his brother and wrapped his arms around him, giving him a quick and tight hug. "It's good to see you," he said, pulling away. "How are you? How's Tamara?"

@liam

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River admitted that he was distracted and not paying attention and Liam watched his brother carefully, looking for something in the way he stood there or talked. Something to maybe explain why River seemed so ... not like River. He smiled a little. "You're fine, River," he answered softly, glancing at the house when River did then chuckling. "Oh, so you're into being haunted now-a-days?" he teased softly. Liam wasn't the most outspoken or talkative person in general, but when it came to River ... well, they were brothers. It wasn't as hard with his brother normally. 

Liam was a little surprised when Liam gave him a hug, quickly hugging him back. Theirs wasn't the most affectionate family, but Liam cared for his younger brother and wanted to be there for him, even though apparently he'd done a terrible job of that during the last year. At least, a bad enough job that River felt the need to keep his marriage a secret. Liam tried not to think about that though. "You too. I'm good. I like work and Tamara's doing really well. Her internship at the Daily Prophet is going well." He paused for a second before asking his brother. "How about you? How's school going? And- And Vi?" Liam still felt uncomfortable that his brother was married to that girl, but he was trying to be supportive. 

@river

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Liam said that it was fine, and River accepted that. His brother wasn't really one to get all sore and sad about River not paying attention to him. Liam had much better things to do, and much better things on his mind. He had always been a genius, and River always felt like that made him even better to talk to as well, because he rarely said the wrong thing. Or maybe that was just because River looked up to him so much and couldn't think of anything Liam said as wrong.

Liam asked if he was being haunted, and River attempted a smile, but none came. "A little bit," he admitted. Haunted by the past and the things he had lost - most especially the things he had changed about himself in order to marry Vi like his parents had wanted him to. Those were definitely the ghosts in his head.

Liam said he was good in answer, and that Tamara was also doing well. Then, after a pause, Liam asked about River. "I'm glad you're enjoying yourself. I'm sure no matter where you work you're an irreplaceable team member," he complimented. "I'm fine, really. A little... nostalgic. Regretful," he admitted, turning his attention back to the shack.

@liam

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River was so serious. It wasn't altogether out of character for the pair of them to be quite serious when they talked, but Liam wished his brother would smile a little. He frowned when River said he was being haunted a little bit. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked hesitantly. Liam didn't feel like he was the best at being there for his brother, but he was willing to try. He wanted to help River, if there was any way her could. 

He gave a small smile, nodding when River said he was glad that Liam and Tamara were doing well, then complimenting Liam himself. "Thanks River," he answered. "Nostalgic and regretful?" Liam didn't want to push River to talk to him if he didn't want to, but if he was feeling nostalgic and regretful, maybe he would want to talk. 

@river

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Liam asked if River wanted to talk about it and River shrugged, unsure for the moment. His brother thanked him for the compliment about how he was irreplaceable then asked further about what was going on in Rivers head. River shrugged, again. "You're welcome. You deserve anything you want, Liam," he complimented, growing more serious still. He turned to look at his brother, his shoulders squaring off as he shoved his hands into his pockets. "Have you ever... wanted to start over? Make things completely different? Well, maybe not completely. I wouldn't give you up," he added.

@liam

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River was so quiet today. Not that he hadn't been quiet the last few times Liam had seen him, but it made Liam a little sad. He liked to remember his brother as a cheerful, albeit quiet, Ravenclaw. This version of his brother, somber and serious, made him feel sad inside, maybe like he didn't do enough to help him somehow. He should have been there for Liam more. Liam smiled at River's compliment, nodding slowly. "You do too, River," he said softly. Part of him felt like River needed to hear that, even if he wouldn't accept it and Liam wasn't sure if he would. He nodded as his brother continued, his mind flashing back to when he started dating Tamara in secret, while Ethan was unconscious in a hospital wing. "Yeah, I have a few times." He smiled back at his brother, "But I'd never give you up either. There are lots of other things I'd like to change though, if I could." If only he could. 

@river

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Liam said he deserved the best too and River didn't think he could answer that without the lump in his throat feeling raspy and harsh and that he wouldn't be able to talk around it. He just nodded, his brow furrowing a little for a second. Liam said that he felt that he wanted to change things a few times too, which already made River feel better. Liam added that he wouldn't give River up and Rivers eyes welled up a little.

He raised a hand to his mouth, covering it for a second, blinking, and then disguising the motion with a short cough and a rough sniff of his nose. He shrugged, shoving his hands deep into his pockets. He let out a quick exhale, then breathed in again, eyes still straight ahead on the shack. "I wish I was more reckless, too," he suggested, "seems like it'd make life less redundant."

@liam

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River didn't say anything when Liam told him that he deserved the best and Liam could tell that he maybe felt a little uncomfortable. So did Liam. He wasn't used to talking about things as serious as this, even with his brother. Heck, he didn't normally get serious like this with Tia or Andy or Tamara either. It was much easier to just not talk about important things. Still, he could tell that River was going through a hard patch and Liam wanted to do whatever he could to encourage his little brother. So he told the truth. 

He lifted an eyebrow when River mentioned wishing he was more reckless. "More reckless how?" Liam asked, taken by surprise. He always thought of his brother kind of like him, though maybe a little more social. Reserved, inclined to think things through and make the right choices. Then again, he did marry that pureblood girl even when he didn't have to, but that was probably due to a sense of duty. Liam shrugged, "It would probably make life more exciting, but I'm not sure if it would be in a positive way." Reckless people were hard to predict, which always made Liam a little uncomfortable, honestly. 

@river

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Liam asked what he meant by being more reckless, saying it would make life more exciting but not in a positive way. River shrugged, "I don't know... I guess I mean not following everything that's expected of me. Running through trees without watching my footing, explore new places, kiss a girl in the middle of the road," he explained. He paused, shaking his head and turning to look back at Liam, "I'm just talking nonsense, really. I'm sure you have better things to do than listen to it," he smiled softly. "What were you doing in Hogsmeade, anyway? Did you know it was Hogwarts weekend at school?" if Liam had come all the way just to see him well, that would mean a lot, even if River didn't have anything interesting to say.

@liam
(these two probably are used to just sitting next to each other reading and not actually talking XD)

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River started to answer his questions and Liam answered intently. He wanted to understand his brother. What he was saying so far made sense and Liam found himself nodding along. "You're not talking nonsense. I think ... everyone feels that at one time or another. I definitely do. I guess you could say I was really rebellious when I fought with Mum and Dad. Got myself in lots of trouble for that one." And he had. He'd lost his connection to the family. It was sad, but he also felt more his own man for it. He liked being able to do what he thought was best. He shook his head, "I came here to find you, if you came. So I'll listen happily to whatever you want to say." Liam's throat closed a little at his words. He didn't normally talk this much with anyone, especially about things that were so important. But he wanted his little brother to know that Liam cared. A lot. 

@river

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Liam said that he understood, and that he even felt it himself when he fought with mum and dad and was kicked out and pushed away. He said he had come there to find River, and that he'd listen to whatever his brother had to say. River bit down on his lip for a moment, trying to hold back the emotion that threatened to surface.

"I'll never be as brave as you," he found himself whispering, his eyes shooting down to look at his own shoes, "even now, they're gone and I still can't..." he paused. In a way he did love Vi, at least enough to marry her and help her please her parents. He loved his dad too, someone after everything.

He straightened up, "have you done anything else reckless and crazy? I can't picture it."

@liam

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Liam's eyebrows furrowed when his brother said that he wasn't brave and then he shook his head. "It takes bravery to stand by your decisions, especially ones you don't like." Liam paused, worried that he might have offended his younger brother. "Not that I'm saying you don't like the things mum and dad wanted you to do, I just-" Liam cut himself off, feeling like a jerk.

"I don't know about crazy, but I've done reckless and stupid," Liam answered. "Did I ever tell you how Tamara and I started dating?" It was one of his deepest secrets, something he still felt ashamed of, even though he loved her more than he could express. 

@river

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Liam said that it took bravery to stand by your decisions and River nodded, agreeing with that. He said he didn't think River didn't like the things their parents wanted, but then he cut himself off. "I do like some of it," he admitted, softly. "I like Vi." And he really, really did. Sure she was mean, bossy and basically depressed but he saw something in her that nobody else did. he saw that they could be friends, that was what he had wanted. Married friends, sure, but still friends. "And I like being a good duelist," he added, standing a little straighter.

Liam said he wasn't sure about crazy, but yes he'd done something reckless and stupid. He asked if he'd ever told his brother how he started dating his girlfriend and River shook his head, "I don't think so, actually. I wasn't exactly that approachable your last year at school," he admitted. He had a hard time that year. "How did you?" he actually felt excited about knowing.

@liam