Somebody Who Cares (Joe)

[Deleted]

Kinsey didn’t know what to do anymore. The nightmare that she’d experienced the first week back from school wasn’t a one-time thing. She’d had it several times by now and was starting to worry that she was losing her mind. She could hardly look at Riley anymore, or even Toby (despite the fact that she’d already told him about her dreams, his betrayal in them was one of the hardest things for her to deal with.)

She’d missed several of her classes and her professors were starting to get annoyed with her. Kinsey didn’t know what to tell them. “I had a nightmare” sounded like a cop-out, and in all reality it didn’t describe the experience fully. It gave no indication of how much it hurt to see Riley and Priscilla constantly hanging all over one another, or to hear Toby saying how much of a disappointment she was as a friend. It couldn’t explain her confusion when Dom was actually nice to her, treating her like they were together, like he cared about her, or her horror when she finally realized it was a dream, only to be stuck there hours longer. She couldn’t wake up, even when she knew it was a dream.

Not only were the dreams messing with her sleep, but Kinsey was starting to be unable to tell when she was actually awake. It felt like everyone was sneaking glances at her, whispering things about her behind her back. Maybe they were. She knew she wasn’t paying as much attention to how she looked now. She brushed her hair in the morning and tried to choose nice-looking clothes when she wasn’t in her robes, but there were dark circles under her eyes and she was often quite pale.

Kinsey woke up from another one of her nightmares about 20 minutes earlier. She’d looked around herself, realizing that classes were about to get out for the day and she’d just missed arithmancy. Again. Crap, she was in so much trouble. She got up and dressed as quickly as possible, heading through the corridors with her head down, not meeting anyone’s eyes. No one noticed her anyway. The bell rang, signaling the end of class when she was just a hallway away. She quickened her step, wanting to catch the professor before dinner, but paused when she heard Dom’s voice. Part of her wanted to go for him and ask him to help, since he cared … but did he? Was this a dream or was it reality? She didn’t know, so after a minute hesitation, Kinsey ducked into another classroom, closing the door behind her and leaning against the wall. Slowly, she allowed herself to sink down until she was sitting on the floor, her back still on the wall as she breathed deeply. What was happening to her.

@joseph

[Deleted]

Arithmancy sucked. To top it off.. Class sucked more than ever since Kinsey had been skipping out. A part of him was finding it hard not taking offense to her ditching him. Joe didn't really care if people didn't like him, but he liked Kinsey. Joe wasn't used to being ditched, ever. He had a feeling like maybe he had done something wrong before leaving for winter break. Maybe kissing her under the mistletoe was too forward, but she didn't make it seem like it was at the time. But since returning to Hogwarts after break, things hadn't been the same...

The snake exited the Arithmancy classroom once the final bell of the day dismissed the class. As he sauntered his way down the hallway, he saw Kinsey. From the corner of his eye, she rushed past, and disappeared. Weird. Joe quicked his steps and followed in the direction she went, before he was met with the only door in that corridor. Shrugging, he approached the door and placed his ear against it. The room was quiet.

Joe hovered about an inch away from the door before opening his mouth to fake an over dramatic high pitched voice against the door, "House keeping.." Joe knocked on the door solidly three times before entering. He wasn't waiting for someone to invite him inside. For as long as he could remember, he hadn't ever seen anyone enter or leave this classroom ever, so it was most likely one of the many unused rooms of the castle.

Joe wasn't expecting to see Kinsey sitting on the floor, her back against the wall, breathing deeply. She looked terrible. "I can't help but get the feeling that you're avoiding me." he told her defensively. Joe took a couple of steps toward Kinsey, "What are you doing on the ground?" he asked her with a furrowed brow, a hint of concern behind his voice.

Kinsey Page Bainbridge

[Deleted]

Kinsey jumped when someone knocked on the door. Who would be here? No one used this classroom, as was evidenced by the layer of dust on all the desks and chairs inside. Did someone see her walk in? Did Dom follow her? Kinsey couldn't decide if she wanted someone to follow her or not. She ignored the high-pitched voice, trying to not move and hoping the person wouldn't follow her. She just needed a minute to catch her breath and gather herself, then she'd go find her professor. 

Someone did open the door, however, and Kinsey instantly started to scramble to her feet nervously. She heard the familiar voice and turned to look at him, her eyes wide and surprised. She couldn't remember the last time she saw him, which she felt a little bad about. "Joe," she muttered, her lips twitching into a hesitant smile. Joe wasn't in her dreams. Maybe that meant this was reality. Maybe he could help her. 

Kinsey shook her head instantly at Joe's words. "No, I ... I haven't been making it to quite a few of my classes lately." She couldn't meet his eyes. "I wouldn't avoid you though. Promise." Joe was one of the best things that had happened to her this year. He was nice and cheerful and supportive and she appreciated him more than she could explain. She looked up at him hopefully, "You missed me?" Kinsey needed some kind of reassurance at the moment. Her nightmares made her feel useless and unwanted. Maybe Joe could help with that. If this wasn't a nightmare. If it was, he was probably about to berate her. 

@joseph

[Deleted]

There was something weird going on. Joe could tell by the shocked look on Kinsey’s face when he entered the room. The brunette awkwardly rose to her feet, attempting to explain that she wasn't avoiding him... but he wasn’t entirely convinced. The expression on her face conveyed something else. Joe just didn’t know what. Joe gave her a lookover. She looked exhausted. Joe hadn't ever been intuitive when it came to his peers feelings, it was something he was working on as he was maturing, but he could tell something was up.

His head cocked to the side, trying to hide the disappointment from his face at her attitude about missing class. He really needed her help in class but he didn't want to admit that to her because it made him sound stupid. ”I haven’t seen you in class all week. What’s that about?” he asked her, leaning against the desk and crossing his arms across his chest, giving her an expectant look. ”Whenever I try to get you to skip class, you act like it’s a crime.” he told her, his brows lacing together. Joe observed Kinsey briefly after she asked if he missed her. Truthfully, he did miss her, more than he wanted to admit. Joe nodded his head at her,  "Of course I missed you. Doesn't seem like you missed me." 

@kinsey

[Deleted]

Kinsey didn't want to answer his question about why she hadn't been in class all week, but she also didn't want to lie to Joe. He was one of the people who'd really reached out to her this week and she appreciated him. She didn't want him to think she was crazy, like she was starting to think she was. She shrugged noncommittally, not really sure how to go about explaining herself. She frowned, "I'm not skipping class. I just ... haven't been feeling well." It wasn't a lie. Not quite, at least. She wanted to tell him that she thought she was going crazy, but she didn't know how he'd react to that. Kinsey couldn't meet his eyes, "I'm sorry I've missed our study sessions," she apologized. 

She felt an odd sort of desperation when Joe said that he didn't think she'd missed him. "I have! I ... already told you how much I appreciate you." She stepped closer to him, taking hold of his arm to try and convince him. As she did so, she felt a wave of concern wash over her. His concern. "Joe," she breathed as she moved even closer, wrapping her arms around his waist, seeking comfort that she hadn't expected. 

@joseph

[Deleted]

"It's fine, Kinsey." he told her when she apologized again, saying she wasn't feeling well. Unlike most people, he didn't want to make Kinsey feel bad about anything. She actually did seem like she had something deeper going on. Hopefully it didn't have to do with Riley, although love woes were much better than deeper trauma. Joe tried to hide the concern from his face, but it was hard. Sometimes when he wasn't being a pest, his face was too soft. His green eyes looked her over. "I just didn't think it was really like you to be missing class so much.." he told her honestly with a shrug of the shoulders. 

It was quiet for a moment. Joe could tell that Kinsey didn't like it when he denied that she missed him, but it also kind of prove the point that she did. There was a bit of reassurance there, something he didn't realize he was seeking until that moment. Then, Kinsey stepped toward him, latching onto his arm with her hand and wrapping her arms around his waist. The gesture had caught him a little off guard and the confused expression on his face showed it, but he returned the gesture, slowly raising his arms to envelope Kinsey in a hug. It seemed like what she needed in that moment, so he'd oblige to offer his friend comfort.

"Kinsey..?" he said after her, but more in a quizzical tone. 

@kinsey

[Deleted]

Joe told her that it was fine she was skipping their study sessions. She could tell he meant it, but that didn't make her feel any better. Kinsey knew that Joe was struggling when it came to Arithmancy. She knew that he appreciated her help and felt bad that she hadn't showed to help him recently. She shook her head a little, "It's not like me," she admitted softly, not meeting his eyes. "I hate missing class." Didn't mean she could do anything about it. Not when she was trapped in those ridiculous dreams. 

She could sense the hesitation in Joe when he wrapped his arms around her slowly. Obviously he was confused. He had no idea what was going on. In all honesty, she didn't either. She knew she liked Joe. He was a good friend, who obviously cared about her. He didn't just study with her, he made her sweets and sought her out plenty of times. It didn't hurt that she knew he liked her more than a friend too. He was there for her when she needed someone, like now. That knowledge was more comforting than she could have imagined, especially after the nightmares she'd been having. 

After a moment he spoke her name, a question in his tone. Kinsey pulled back a tiny bit, just enough to be able to look up at his face. Her eyes met with his. Kinsey wasn't sure what he'd see in her eyes, but she could see the concern and worry for her in his own, his desire to help however he could. Without meaning to, her eyes dropped and she found herself staring at his lips. "Joe," she muttered, a question in her own tone now as she felt the urge to kiss him rise up within her. She wanted to feel loved and important and wanted, the exact opposite of how her dreams made her feel. She glanced up to his eyes for a moment, hesitating. What would he do if she just leaned in and kissed him? He knew about Riley, but ... Riley hated her now, didn't he? Or was that her dreams? Kinsey didn't know, but she suddenly made her decision. If Joe didn't like it, she'd apologize later. She leaned in, pressing her lips against his gently, sighing as she did so. 

@joseph

[Deleted]

Kinsey was now staring at his lips. This was getting weird. He wasn't used to Kinsey acting like this, but he was also curious to what was going on in her head at this moment. She was one of the only people he truly liked and got along with at Hogwarts. Joe wanted to help her by being there for her because he knew that she was having a really hard year. Kinsey had helped him more than she'd ever know, starting with his studies, as well as friendship, and many other ways. There weren't many people he cared about, but she was certainly one of the few on the list. 

When Kinsey stepped toward him again, ultimately leaning upwards, and planting her lips on his... Joe flinched. Not because he didn't want the kiss - it was unexpected - but unexpected kisses were admittedly the best. Joe's hand fell down to Kinsey's waist and he found himself kissing her back slowly, one hand travelled to the back of her head to run fingers through a handful of tresses as he kissed her back passionately.

After a couple of seconds, he pulled away to stare at her with piercing green eyes, "What was that for?" Joe breathed, consumed with confusion, but not disappointed by the gesture in the slightest.

@kinsey

[Deleted]

Kinsey didn't know what she was doing. Or how she expected Joe to respond to any of it. It was just, the desire to feel wanted by someone was so strong and she remembered how it felt when Joe kissed her last December. Her kissing him now was impulsive, but at the same very emotionally driven. 

So when he flinched, Kinsey's stomach dropped. She started to feel ashamed and embarrassed and was about to break from him, turn and run away when he was suddenly returning her kiss. He held her, playing with her hair as he kissed her and Kinsey matched his passion, some sort of wild relief flooding through her. Joe wouldn't kiss her like this if he didn't care for her at all, would he? Kinsey didn't think so. She kissed him back, her hands moving to his shoulders so she could embrace him and pull herself closer.

Then he was pulling away from her, asking what that was for and Kinsey felt the shame return. She looked down to the ground, a bright blush covering her face. "I'm sorry! I didn't meant to, I mean, I- I don't know. I just wanted to feel ..." wanted, cared for, special. She wanted to know that she wasn't repulsive and useless and nothing, as she was starting to believe. She'd thought that maybe when he kissed her back, it was proof she wasn't worthless. Now ... well now she was back to square one. "I'm sorry. I-I won't bother you again," she muttered, starting to remove her arms from around his neck. She was an idiot and should probably try to leave now, before she did something stupid. Like try to kiss him again, which she very much wanted to. 

@joseph

[Deleted]

Joe watched as the expression on Kinsey's face changed after he asked her the question. Maybe he should have worded that differently. His face faltered slightly, a brow arching into a confused look as she started stumbling over words and apologizing for kissing him. He took a step back as her hands dropped from his shoulders, attempting to reassess the situation that was going down hill. The words coming out of her lips were ridiculous. "Kinsey." he said, his stomach dropping at the embarrassment on her face. Which confused him because the way she was kissing him a second ago didn't make it seem like a mistake.

He wasn't going to let this go down hill. Joe would grab the reigns and turn the situation around if she needed a distraction. Joe took a couple of quick steps to close the distance between them, grabbing her by the shoulders to look her in the eyes. "Just- Stop!" he plead, the concerned look couldn't be hidden from his face, piecing green eyes softening, "Whatever is going on, Kinsey.. It's going to be okay, you don't have to tell me--" Joe assured her, his hands raising to cup her face, "I want to kiss you." he told her honestly, lips crashing into hers heatedly, and pulling her toward his body. 

@kinsey

[Deleted]

Kinsey couldn't bear to meet Joe's eyes. She didn't know what he thought. He was probably super confused by everything that happened in the last couple of minutes. He stepped away from her, further confirmation to her exhausted mind that he didn't want to be with her. He couldn't. He said her name and Kinsey paused, not running from the room yet. She was scared to see what he was going to say. Maybe she was in one of the nightmares. Maybe Joe suddenly became yet another form of torment to her weary mind. If so, she wouldn't be able to stand it. She stepped backwards, still facing him but terrified that this actually was one of her nightmares. 

Joe stepped forward, walking back up to her and grabbing her shoulders. Kinsey's breath caught as she looked up into his eyes, as she felt his concern rush through her again. She could see the worry in his eyes too and she felt herself start to relax, even as he told her to stop. He started to tell her that everything would be okay, that she didn't have to tell him what was going on. Then he cupped her face and Kinsey sighed, a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips when he said that he wanted to kiss her. Then next thing she knew, he was. He kissed her passionately, pulling her close and Kinsey returned the kiss as she relaxed the rest of the way in his arms. She wanted this. She wanted to be close to Joe, to feel his arms around her and know that things would be okay, just like he said they would. She would tell him everything, of course. He deserved that much, but for right now, Kinsey focused on him. She wrapped her arms around his neck again, playing with his hair as she let herself go and just was. She stopped thinking about everything, just followed her instincts and kissed him back. 

@joseph

[Deleted]

Everything was happening so fast. Joe had a dreaded feeling like Kinsey might try to run away from him again.. Much to his relief, her lips reacted to his and she allowed her body to melt into his almost instantly. They shared a heated moment, his hands caressing her, tongues tangling. This kiss was different from their kiss under the mistletoe before winter break. There was a sense of urgency this time around. As much as Joe enjoyed it, he could tell that Kinsey had something going on. Emotions made these kind of things messy. Something he didn't usually care about, usually, but he liked Kinsey.

Joe attempted to slow the kiss down, allowing their lips to clash a few times before he pulled away slowly, more to catch his breath this time. His stomach fluttered, the smile from spreading across his face. "Wow." he breathed, for one the first times in his life, he was speechless but in a good way. His hands were still glued to the small of her waist, he'd take the body contact while he could get it.

@kinsey

[Deleted]

There was a sort of relief going through Kinsey as Joe held her. Before today, she'd never imagined him holding her like this, kissing her so deeply. Even more, she never expected herself to respond like this, but she was. Without knowing what he was doing (probably), Joe was fixing a part of Kinsey. The part of her that believed the nightmares, that thought she was worthless. The thing was, if she was worthless, someone like Joe wouldn't give her a second glance, much less kiss her like this. Besides that, it didn't hurt that she actually did like him, more than she expected to. Yes, she was still in love with Riley, but he was engaged. Engaged and possibly hating her? She couldn't tell what was real or what wasn't with him, but in either reality they couldn't be together. At least she knew Joe cared about her, and she liked him too. Otherwise, she would never respond to his kiss like this. 

Kinsey didn't know how long the pair of them kissed feverishly before Joe softly pulled away. She opened her eyes to see him smiling down at her and Kinsey offered a shy smile back, blushing when he whispered the word "wow." She chuckled softly, before muttering back, "Yeah." She let her hand move to his forehead, playing with his hair there for a moment before she lowered it to his shoulder. She didn't want to move away. 

Now was the time to tell Joe what was going on, but a part of Kinsey was nervous to. She'd only talked to Toby about this, and that was when she was sure what was reality and what wasn't. "I'll tell you what's going on now, if you promise not to run away right after," she said, trying to make a joke to hide her fear. Yeah, after she told him the truth, he'd probably regret that kiss, but at least he couldn't take it back. 

@joseph

[Deleted]

Before following Kinsey into the abandoned classroom, Joe was having a pretty normal day, besides the whole Kinsey missing from Arithmancy thing... sadly that was becoming a common occurrence. He wouldn’t have ever thought he’d be having another make out session with the shy Ravenclaw.

Joe smirked, eyes narrowing at the brunette in half seriousness as she begged him not to run off after she told him what was going on. A single eye brow quirked in her direction, ”I think we need to be more worried about you running away at this point.” he told her, refraining from laughing, his hand still remaining on her. Kinsey’s body language and closeness determined that it was still okay. He removed the smirk, offering a small smile. ”What’s up? I promise not to judge you...but y’know I can’t always control what my face does.” Joe told her, more to lighten the situation, and also because it was undeniably true.

@kinsey

[Deleted]

Joe was smirking at her, still holding her close when Kinsey asked him not to run away. She couldn't tell if he was just trying to prove himself or something, but his intentions were sincere, even as he spoke. She breathed a chuckle when he teased about her not running away and then she looked up at him. "I initiated that. I'm not going to run," she insisted, though her cheeks did blush a little. Part of her could hardly believe she just made out with Joe, but at the same time it felt nice. 

He asked what was up and Kinsey took a deep breath. She was nervous to tell him, but at the same time he deserved it. So what if it freaked him out and he avoided her for the rest of the year? She'd find some way to deal with that when it happened. "I ... think I'm losing my mind," she answered slowly and softly, lowering her gaze from his eyes. "The week we got back from break I started having these dreams, but they're unlike any I've had before. They're vivid and they seem real and," she swallowed nervously, "and everyone hates me." That wasn't strictly true, but everyone in the dreams was mean to her except Dom, and he was mean to her outside of the dreams so it didn't matter. Kinsey shuddered, "People I've trusted for years suddenly don't want to be around me and they say ... the meanest things." Kinsey bit her lip for a second. "I can't wake up either, not even once I realize I'm dreaming. When I do wake up, I've missed most of my classes that day." 

After a moment, Kinsey looked back up to meet Joe's eyes, but needing to see his reaction. "I don't know how to not feel worthless and unwanted anymore, but you're not in my dreams so when you came in here today ... I thought ..." Kinsey shrugged, feeling more than embarrassed. She'd used Joe to make herself feel better and she didn't know how he'd feel about it. Granted, she did like him. More than she thought she would before, and even more now. "I'm sorry," she muttered, part of her wishing she could just kiss him again and forget about all of this crap. 

@joseph