One Step Closer (Toby)

[Deleted]

February 17, 2025

Kinsey didn't want to see anyone. She didn't want to talk to anyone, to have to pretend she was okay and she definitely DEFINITELY did not want to see even a sign of Riley Fudge. She loved him, wanted to be with him, but after the Valentine's Day Party, she'd finally realized that would never happen. It didn't matter that he loved her back, that he didn't want to marry Priscilla. He would. He'd do everything his family asked him to and hang his own feelings on the matter. He'd made that abundantly clear when he walked away from her that night and Kinsey was now trying to pull herself back together. 

She endured her nightmares on a daily basis now, though somehow they were mercifully ending before her classes begun. At least she wasn't going to fail out of school. She went to class, sitting on the back row, not speaking or making eye contact with anyone. When she wasn't in class, she was in her dormitory, the curtains pulled around her bed as she cried and did her schoolwork. She didn't even leave for meals, though the house elves seemed to be watching out for her after finding her the other night and brought food to her where she was. 

Now it was Saturday, and all Kinsey wanted was to get away. She wanted to escape from school and from life and everything. In a week Riley would be going to his engagement party. For so long, that was the moment she'd dreaded, the moment where she'd lose him, but the moment was already past. She already lost him and now she wanted to mourn somewhere where no one else would know. 

So she went to the treehouse. The only other person that knew about this place was Toby, but she didn't even think about that. In these moments, all she cared about was getting away from everyone in the castle. She walked into the treehouse, smiling as she moved to the beanbag chair that was "hers". She closed her eyes and took deep breaths, trying to focus on the breathing and not think of anything else. She couldn't bear to think right now.

tobias charles watkins

[tobias charles watkins]

February 17, 2025

It was crazy how quickly life could go from good to bad. Last month, things had gotten pretty bad after winter break with Anastasia, where he publicly humiliated himself, and continued to embarrass himself in class. But the situation was also very enlightening in many ways to him.. After this experience with Anastasia, Toby had realized how much time he was wasting on a girl that continuously treated him like trash. He had more free time and he wasn't worrying about someone else's grades anymore - she could flunk out for all he cared.

The best part was he got closer to Lusie Windsor, who he fancied and cared about very much. Three days ago, he locked it down. Toby asked her to go steady with him, which was both exciting and terrifying at the same time. But if he were to date anyone for the first time, he was happy to figure it out with her. The only sad part was Toby hadn't been able to share this information with his best friend yet. He had a feeling like he was just innocently missing her in the great hall at meals, and in the common room, but on day three he knew something was up... Toby had to find his best friend, what if she was in trouble?

After he couldn't find her in the library, or in the common room, he asked one of the Ravenclaw girls to see if she was in her dorm. She informed him that she wasn't. One last place came to his mind. A place she'd go if she didn't want to be bothered by the rest of the world. It was their place. Realistically it was just a giant tree with a hole in it, where they MacGyvered a door and stole furnishings from the Ravenclaw common room, but it was a great place.

Toby carefully stepped into the Forbidden Forest without being noticed and beelined for their tree. He found it easily and knocked on the tree bark door before pushing it open to duck and look inside. He was relieved when he found her here. Toby crouched down, "Kins...are you alright?" he asked her carefully, his eyes full of concern.

@kinsey

[Deleted]

Kinsey didn't even think about how she hadn't seen her best friend in days. She saw him enough in her nightmares to think of trying to approach him now. Besides that, what if she ran into Riley while she was looking for Toby? No, the best choice for her was to stick to herself and not reach out to anyone. Which was why she went to their treehouse.

The last thing she expected was for someone to find her here, though really if she'd been in her right mind she would have expected it. Toby was her best friend! Of course he'd look for her if she dropped off the face of the earth. She jumped when he knocked on the door before coming inside, her eyes widening as he joined her. "Toby," she whispered, forcing a smile. "I'm ..." Kinsey wanted to say she was fine, but she couldn't force the word out. She couldn't lie to him. So instead Kinsey shook her head and hugged her knees to her chest, not knowing how to explain herself. One of these days Toby really was going to get tired of her and how she was always crying about something or another. She had to prepare herself for that possibility. 

tobias charles watkins

[tobias charles watkins]

February 17, 2025

Toby could tell by Kinsey's demeanor that things weren't good. It sounded like her voice got caught in her throat. He crouched down and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, holding her tight for a moment. Toby wanted to show her that he was there for her. "Are you having nightmares still?" he asked her, assuming it was that. She was struggling with them for a few weeks, keeping her from her classes and most social interactions. Toby's eyes softened as he tried to look her over, he hated seeing his best friend so broken. He wished there was something he could do to make her feel better. "What's wrong? You can talk to me, Kinsey." he urged her, placing a hand on her back.


@kinsey  

[Deleted]

Kinsey sighed, unable to resist when Toby wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. She could feel his concern, his desire to be there for her and she couldn't bring herself to push him away. She leaned against him, wrapping her arms around his waist to hug him back. He asked about her nightmares and Kinsey released a half-laugh, half-sob. "Yes, but they're a little different now. They've been coming every night since the dance, but they end just in time for me to make it to class on time," she answered. That wasn't her big problem right now though. 

He pulled away a little, looking at her with obvious concern in his eyes as he asked what was wrong and tried to convince her to say. Kinsey bit her lip and looked to the ground. "I was an idiot," she whispered, her voice barely audible. "I didn't mean to do it, the words just popped out and I can't take them back." Lips trembling, she looked up to meet Toby's eyes. "I ... I asked Riley not to marry Priscilla and to choose me instead." She'd meant to tell Toby what happened, to explain that Riley said she didn't understand before walking away, but Kinsey couldn't. She just couldn't make herself say the words. 

tobias charles watkins

[tobias charles watkins]

February 17, 2025

Kinsey revealed that she was still having nightmares but making it to class now. That must have been so exhausting. Toby frowned, "I'm sorry..." he told her, wishing that he could relate to her. This issue was unique, he wished they could ask for help, but he knew that Kinsey refused in fear of looking crazy.

Toby couldn't believe the words that had come out of his best friends mouth. She had asked Riley to cancel the wedding completely? He couldn't believe she had the guts to do that. Poor Kinsey. He wished that he could help her. Toby's expression fell, he couldn't hide it. "You...didn't..." he swallowed, knowing that she did. Otherwise she wouldn't have looked so upset. He squeezed her again to show her that he cared, he only wanted to offer her comfort.  "What happened? What did he say, Kinsey?" Toby asked her, dreading the answer but needing to know. He knew that Riley and Priscilla were an arranged marriage, it was a weird, traditional, Pureblood thing. 


@kinsey

[Deleted]

Toby apologized to her and Kinsey shook her head. She didn't want Toby to feel bad for her, but she knew he would. He was her best friend. Toby cared about what happened to her and he was one of the only people she'd talked to about her struggles with these nightmares. She nodded, yawning widely and covering her mouth, "I'll be okay Toby. I just gotta pass my NEWTs at the end of the year." That would be the hard thing, if these nightmares never ended. 

She glanced up to Toby's face at her confession and Kinsey saw the shock evident there. She could she the disappointment on her behalf and she nodded her head, trying to keep from crying. "I didn't mean to. It just slipped out," she muttered, trying to explain the inexplicable. Toby held her close, hugging her tight as he asked what happened. Her body shook with silent sobs and Kinsey choked out the answer. "He walked away," she forced the words out. "Said I didn't understand and left." She could still see him walking away from her, not bothering to look back. She buried her face in Toby's chest as the tears finally started coming again and Kinsey lost all control. 

tobias charles watkins

[tobias charles watkins]

February 17, 2025

"And you will pass." he promised her, truly believing the sentiment himself. As much as he would love to have his best friend with him another year, ultimately graduating with her, he'd do whatever it took for Kinsey to pass this year. Hell, he'd find a way to way her up himself if that was the root of the problem - he'd shake her awake on the daily if that's what it took. Toby hated seeing someone he cared so much about struggling, someone who hadn't done anything wrong to anyone, but was constantly getting the short end of the stick in life.

Toby breathed, the breath getting stuck in his throat when Kinsey continued to explain. He was surprised that she had asked Riley such a thing, it was awfully bold. And a bit stupid but love made you do weird shit he was quickly learning, his heart when out to Kinsey. Toby could feel her sadness as he took Kinsey into his arms, allowing her tear stained face to soak into his sweatshirt without a second thought. "I'm so sorry, Kinsey." he told her, squeezing her in his arms. Toby tried to think of anything reassuring to say and he was coming up short right now. Honestly, he wished that she'd stop chasing after Riley when he was so conflicted. Toby was silent for a moment, the sound of crickets and the forest coming to life in the background.

The lanky teen swallowed, still holding Kinsey in his arms, she was shaking with sadness. "It's going to be okay. You need to try to use that as some sort of closure. This isn't fair for you, Kins." he told her, trying to keep his tone comforting and non scolding, he wasn't trying to tell her that she done wrong. Toby wanted to be there for her more than anything but he also wanted to offer honest input on the situation because he wanted nothing but the best for his best friend. Kinsey deserved the world and it wasn't fair that hers seemed to be falling apart all around her.



@kinsey

[Deleted]

Toby promised that Kinsey would pass and she gave him a doubtful smile. Sure, she could study the material outside of class, but there was something about hearing a professor explain that was invaluable. She was missing out on that. She knew her professors were annoyed, and she'd likely have to start explaining what was happening to them, but she still got all her work on in time and did pretty well at her exams. Not as well as she'd done before, but they couldn't complain or say that she was being a bad student. So she wasn't in trouble yet. "I hope so, Toby. I'm really trying," she told him, but it wasn't a surprise she was sure. Toby knew how seriously she took school. 

Kinsey snuggled closer to her best friend, unable to control her emotions anymore. She'd finally realized that she couldn't have Riley anymore. It didn't matter what he felt for her or what she felt for him. He made up his mind to obey his parents, to give her up and that was something she was going to have to learn to live with. She nodded against Toby when he apologized to her and held her tighter. Of course, it wasn't Toby's fault and he knew that. He knew she wasn't blaming him too. Kinsey just hugged him back, shaking with sobs and trying to gain control of herself again. 

He told her it would be okay, that she needed to use this as closure and that it wasn't fair for her. Kinsey nodded against him again, finally gaining enough control to be able to talk a little. "I know. R-Riley is gone. I can't expect him to come back to me anymore," her voice was shaky and halting, but she forced the words out. "I just need to find a way to move on." Which was, admittedly, the hardest part of all. She loved him so much, but he wasn't going to be hers. Kinsey needed to move on for her own sanity. She needed to figure out a way to do it.

tobias charles watkins

[tobias charles watkins]

February 17, 2025

The amount of sadness that Kinsey was carrying was crippling, Toby could feel her shaking in his arms and it filled him sadness. He wished that he could help her. All he could do was offer support, a shoulder to cry on when she needed it most. Toby held her in his arms, it wasn't romantic, he was hugging her mostly to get her to stop crying and panicking. She choked out that Riley is gone and she needs to move on from him.  Toby was quiet for a moment as he nodded because he agreed with her. Kinsey needed to date anyone but Riley Fudge at this point.

"So, this is going to sound completely cliche and stupid right now, especially because I don't have the firsthand experience with the advice but just hear me out," Merlin, he was already face palming at the amount of words he was using, but he continued with his typical dorky but endearing drone. Toby squeezed her, he wasn't sure if she was still crying. "Time will heal, Kins. You need to try not to think about Riley and let it be. His family fricken sucks for being elitist assholes. And he fricken sucks for not being able to stand up to his family for something he believes in, screw him, you don't need him. You deserve so much better than this, Kinsey." he told her, getting slightly worked up by the end because he really did care about Kinsey. He was sick and tired of all the stress Riley had put her through this year. Love wasn't supposed to be like that, she was being tortured having to watch him with Priscilla. 


@kinsey

[Deleted]

Toby was such a good friend. Kinsey couldn't appreciate him more as he hugged her and let her cry on him. She didn't know if most people could do this type of a thing with their best friend, but she definitely considered Toby as the best of the best. She could feel him nodding when she said she needed to move on, but that wasn't a surprise. She knew that he wanted her to move on from Riley a while ago. He'd been encouraging her to try longer than anyone else had. 

She sniffled when he started talking, not pulling away from him but just listening. She bit her lip as he told her that time would heal her and that she needed to try to not think about Riley. Kinsey nodded her head against him now. She didn't want to actually say anything. Really, she wasn't sure if she could, she was so emotional right now. She smiled as he talked bad about Riley's family and about Riley. While she wasn't sure she could ever hate Riley, she knew what Toby was saying and she appreciated that he was defending her like that. "Thanks Toby," she muttered, pulling herself a little closer to him so she could give him a real hug. "And thanks for finding me. You're the best."

--- the end ---

tobias charles watkins