it goes inside my head | rue

[gehry benjamin ollivander]

i like these thoughts

when they come out to play

July 2, 2027
prudence oria weiss

Benny didn’t work that day, which was odd because he had worked every Friday since the shop had hired him for as long as he could remember. But he didn’t complain, the new girl was taking on a few more hours, and you wouldn’t find Benny or Mina despondent over a bit more free time. But, there was a little bit of routine in his life. Sometimes he’d casually walk into Nell’s shop and see what she was up to. Perhaps experimenting with a new wand core and trying not to lose a finger in the process. Or catch up with Veronica, especially now that Gideon was home from the American school. But, he had not done either. Walking through Horizont would have led him to the family shop and the eye roll he had given his eldest sister at the mention of ‘settling down’ still left him dizzy a week later.

”What are you brewing up?” Rue stood over a cauldron, the liquid inside was a color that Benny couldn’t quite name, but it was a unique mix. This was either some personal project or something for a client. Benny had excelled in Potions while at Hogwarts. Well, as much as one could excel while doing the bare minimum. The Potions Master was frequently frustrated with the youngest Ollivander, who clearly had the knack but not the will. Not that he measured up to Rue and how easy she made it look. And she never minded when Benny dropped by. Especially now that he was avoiding Veronica until she dropped the subject of taking his life more seriously.

His parents had not mentioned anything, but they rarely pressed him for anything. Veronica had quickly taken the mantel of wondering what Benny was doing like any good decades older sibling. Settling down? Perish the thought. Find a nice girl, give Gideon some cousins, and he’d stopped listening by that point. Merlin, that took work, and his life was busy enough in his own eyes. Plus, he was far more interested in whatever Rue was brewing. He was happy to test any strange concoctions. Sometimes he’d see different colors or feel on top of the world—not knowing was part of the fun. But he sighed heavily. He probably should’ve picked up some espresso on the way here.

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[prudence oria weiss]

━ the mirror's telling me to go home ━

RUE HAD BEEN DELIGHTFULLY BUSY in the last coming months. With the Purifiers base essentially gone and the Weiss being tired of creating within her apartment or hopping from unabandoned building to the next - she decided to rent out a little warehouse somewhere scattered in the alleyways of London. The Potioneer considered renting from a muggle, considering they weren't the type to ask questions about what would be going on within the warehouse, but yet she couldn't run the risk. Luckily, Rue knew a guy..who..knew a guy, and managed to find a cheap warehouse that was easy to conceal. Perfect.

Since the end of the chaos that the Purifier's brought, Rue's potioneering only got better - through mentoring and experimenting of course, but their business likewise grew with clients. Sure, Rue's potions weren't exactly...legal in all senses but considering the precautions they took and the amount of distributors they had now, there would be no plausible way anything could be traced back to the Weiss. Unless someone did their digging of course.


Despite Rue believing her warehouse was in a 'disclosed' area, she knew she couldn't hide the details of where she was cooped up most days to her friends, including Mina and Benny. Mina was working most nights, so Rue met up with her whenever the two found the perfect timing...Benny on the other hand..well..

Standing over the large cauldron, Rue sniffed a little, making sure that the potion they ingested to keep them awake for a few more hours was actually working. The Potioneer hadn't learned their lesson all those years ago and instead continued to consume their own product. That and they simply couldn't afford to sleep. It was no surprise that they looked like a zombie ninety percent of the time. With their hand resting under their chin, the Weiss inspected the colour change, using their wand to note it down.

She was mass producing her best selling potions in other cauldrons, but that didn't mean Rue would give up the chance to experiment something new. It was in her nature after all. Sighing quietly as she heard a familiar voice, Rue turned their head to the side slightly, acknowledging Benny.

"Unsure yet. I'm experimenting with something so..wish me luck it turns out well." She began, turning to face him a little more. "What brings you here anyway?..Sister bothering you again?" Rue knew of the Ollivanders and their long legacy long before she even moved to Europe after her father's passing. Yet what she never anticipated back then was that she would actually befriend one.

| gehry benjamin ollivander|

so sorry for the long wait omg

[gehry benjamin ollivander]

i like these thoughts

when they come out to play

July 2, 2027
prudence oria weiss

Benny gave a dramatic eye-roll. ”That obvious?” While he was his usual self, he felt he was missing something in his step today. A rare occurrence, really, but he’d passed a mirror, and the way his brow creased as he grew lost in his thoughts reminded him of Frankie’s usual expression. But he’d shake it off. Benny was not his older brother, which his parents and Veronica liked to repeat. But Benny didn’t see anything wrong with his older brother since he was a small boy he’d never had. Some espresso or anything would have brought him back to life, but he didn’t have plans either. So, here he was, bothering a friend as they worked.

”Can’t a friend drop in and say hello?” From a distance, he peered over the other cauldrons to the unique one they stood next to. Honestly, he wasn’t sure why his feet had taken him here, but it had. Mina was busy, Lily was working, and for the first time in the history of forever, Vasilia was not working on a Friday. She was probably off with that grumpy one. But he wasn’t bitter, she was his friend at the end of the day, and that mattered. Benny had probably bumped into the guy once on his way into the bar, there was this intense look in his eye, and he quickly moved out of the way. It certainly hadn’t been a nice look. But even his sister was friends with him, so obviously, he was missing something.

Benny had met Rue through Mina back in their school days, and they’d become friends, although they were closer to Mina. It didn’t bother him. Benny always figured people would be close to whoever they were close to, and that was that. Even when they’d traveled and gone on their adventures, Benny merely greeted them when they came back. ”Mostly my mum.” Benny added to his earlier response. Since Frankie returned home, the pressure had risen, and he simply didn’t want to hear it. His parents and family had never particularly pushed him to do anything before, so why now?

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[prudence oria weiss]

━ the mirror's telling me to go home ━

LOOKING UP AT HER FRIEND, Rue found herself shrugging, knowing that her guess was honestly the best bet. Benny usually did things however he wished and of course whenever, but when it came to hanging out with other people - it was usually to rant about family, or to just...get away from them. Not that Rue minded of course, most times they were too high or too tired to even question it. "Got all that pent up stress wiped across your face." They joked, using magic to keep stirring at the liquids across the cauldrons.

Rolling her eyes, Rue firstly responded with a "Hello." before eyeing Benny, signalling to stand far...far away from the cauldrons. "If you don't want to feel some sort of high just off of fumes alone..I recommend you stand on this side." While it didn't seem like it, Rue did truthfully enjoy Benny's company. Although Rue had spent more of her time by Mina's side and of course getting up to no good, those moments sometimes included Benny. Their friendship was weird at times though, as it would be between awkward teenagers but regardless they loved Benny. But they would never admit it of course.

"Wanna talk about it?" They asked, rolling up her left sleeve to have a look at the time. It had been at least three hours since they last ingested their 're-up' potion and felt now was probably the best time for another. Fishing into their pockets for the potion, Rue squeezed at the potion's pipet, letting a couple of drops fall on their tongue before putting the potion away. Blinking a few times once the effects started to kick in, their pupils dilated and the groggy feeling that was creeping up on Rue slowly disappeared. Even as an addict, Rue felt some kind of high most times.

| gehry benjamin ollivander|

so sorry for the long wait!

[gehry benjamin ollivander]

i like these thoughts

when they come out to play

July 2, 2027
prudence oria weiss

Benny loved his family, but some days even left him feeling a little bit stuck. And Benny wasn’t the kind to sit in a rut too long. Those were for people with lofty goals and pressure on their shoulders. In which Benny had none, well, none that he couldn’t ignore. Merlin, is this what Nell and Veronica felt all the time? This was terrible. It was far easier to continue as he had than suffer like this. Rue motioned for him to keep his distance. Benny dramatically put his hands up, palms facing out as he stepped back slowly until he found a chair a decent distance away.

High off the fumes? Benny’s eyebrows raised. That was tempting. ”Well that depends. Would I enjoy myself more if I waited?” He did not need to be in a bad mood to artificially lift his spirits. What were they working on? Now he had to know, but his mind searched through different ingredients that would produce that color. Rue didn’t always tell Benny what they were working on, and he never pried. He wasn’t the type. Either people would tell him, or they wouldn’t, and life was simpler that way.

Crossing his arms, he slouched in his chair and leaned his head back to stare at the ceiling. Letting out a heavy sigh, he paused. Did he want to talk about it? There wasn’t much to talk about, and yet it bothered him that much. ”There’s not much to talk about.” Benny paused again. ”Mum’s been on my case—probably Nell as well—to ‘continue the family lineage.’” It wasn’t anything new, but she’d been pushing hard as of late. ”I don’t see why. She has a grandson already.” In no way, shape, or form was Benny ready for such a step. Merlin, he didn’t even want a relationship. Or at least, there wasn’t anyone that caught his eye that way. Well, that wasn’t already committed, anyway.

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[prudence oria weiss]

━ the mirror's telling me to go home ━

ROLLING THEIR EYES, RUE SWATTED at Benny's arm to indicate he should move, and maybe move now. "Getting high while...angry or upset isn't the best bet you know. Trust me, I've tried." Ingesting or re-upping their dosage while in a mood didn't affect Rue in any way, but truthfully they had been getting high off of their own product for the longest time. "If you want to...enjoy yourself, you can have something else." Rue smiled, giving the cauldrons one more stir.

As Benny began to talk though, Rue slightly turned, half of their attention on the cauldron and the other half paying attention to Benny. "Continue the family lineage? Please tell me she doesn't actually speak like that." Thankfully for the Weiss, they had only met the other Ollivanders in passing, or through promotional posts in the newspapers. Never in..actual reality. Or the extended family anyway. Their wands were always fine, and the upgrades or changes to them always came from a Wandmaker back home in the States. It made the journey back worth it every time.

"Maybe she wants more..Mumsy might like a big family you know?..Is your sister or other brother having kids anytime soon?.." Truthfully anyway, Rue couldn't imagine Benny with kids. Not yet anyway. He was still a kid himself.

| gehry benjamin ollivander|

so sorry for the long wait!

[gehry benjamin ollivander]

i like these thoughts

when they come out to play

July 2, 2027
prudence oria weiss

Benny gave Rue a look. Stress was not something people associated with the youngest Ollivander. In fact, he was sure Nell stressed enough for the both of them. Me? Stressed?” Benny asked dramatically, even scoffing at the end. But, he supposed it was a little bit true. The sudden pressure and pestering from his mother and even Veronica a little bit. He just wanted to live his life and coast through the rest of it. Was that so hard to understand. In the end, Benny knew it was his name more than anything. A blessing and a curse, as they say.

Cautiously, he took a few steps back with his hands up to heed Rue’s warning. Typically when they warned it was for good reason. And he wasn’t one to argue with their potions skills. But he took their advice and changed where he was standing. Rue had always been closer to Mina, Benny didn’t mind. People could befriend whomever they saw fit as far as he was concerned. Just as long as they didn’t forget about him entirely. He shrugged lightly, not even flinching as Rue pulled out their potion. ”I see the stress my sisters have on their shoulders. I don’t want that.”

If the birth order had been different, who knew what Benny would be up to at this age. Maybe in Veronica’s shoes while she worked at the bookstore. Or perhaps in Nell’s shoes getting gray hair before twenty-five. But he wasn’t. In these rare moments his typically sunny disposition faltered, the energy wasn’t there to be himself. He disliked when he got like this, it felt unnatural. 

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[prudence oria weiss]

━ the mirror's telling me to go home ━

AT BENNY'S SCOFF, RUE KNEW that re-upping in that moment was the best choice. Of course, there were consequences to such things, especially because of addiction. Though, being an addict was painful in itself but being an addict..addicted to your own product..was beyond worse. Feeling their body adjust to the re-upping, the groggy feeling finally disappearing altogether, Rue let out a quiet sigh before rolling her eyes. "If you're not stressed then what is it? You don't usually complain about your Mum or sister and they seem to be overbearing..." The Weiss trailed off momentarily. "98% of the time. Unless something else is on your mind?"

Rue had a quick stir of the cauldron then, using her wand to keep the motion going while paying attention to Benny. Truthfully, the cauldron near the two of them held an experiment Rue spontaneously decided to make. There were the fair additions of her best sellers, her recreation of the Pepperup potion, the Alihotsy Draught, as well as a few others that shouldn't..mix well. "No one can just..choose when to not be stressed." Figuratively speaking, everyone's experiences were different for the rest. "It just kind of creeps up on you, heightened if you're within a stressful situation. Like when my dad died for instances." Rue began, turning to face Benny now.

"We all anticipated it..and my Mom did her best, but I tried to stay as level-headed as I could and well..look at me now." An addict with their own dark-potion business, how inspiring. "But you're the most cheerful and careless person I know..so don't let other people's words or actions try to cloud your judgement.." Rue truly felt like a mother lecturing their child but it was true. While everyone grieved, Rue only craved the numb feeling. The numb feeling took away the stress, the thoughts in her mind. It was why they became the person they are now.

| gehry benjamin ollivander|

so sorry for the long wait!

[gehry benjamin ollivander]

i like these thoughts

when they come out to play

July 2, 2027
prudence oria weiss

On paper, Benny had not known Rue as long as other individuals in his life. But moments like this reminded him that time didn’t matter. They could read him like a book. It wasn’t saying much, as Benny wasn’t usually guarded, but people saw him and only saw their assumptions rather than the facts. Rue quickly saw what others likely did not. He just looked at them for a moment before looking again, anxiously biting the inside of his cheek. Finally, he just shrugged. ”I dunno…ever since Frankie came home, it's been a little weird, I suppose.” Really, it wasn’t something that needed an extended analysis.

Rue brought up the topic of her father, and Benny listened thoughtfully. Among themselves, they all weren’t one to dwell on such things. The acceptance of one another made it easy to simply exist and enjoy life. But they did bring up excellent points. Benny knew he’d come to the right place. ”Right…” He sighed softly and nodded his head. ”You’re right.” Benny declared. ”Don’t be so hard on yourself, Rue. You’re amazing.” He grinned widely at his longtime friend. Benny supposed it wasn’t until that moment that he’d been forced to dig to figure out why he felt this way. His older brother’s presence probably reminded his parents and sister of many things. Even the happy and cheerful Benny couldn’t forget all those early memories.

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[prudence oria weiss]

━ the mirror's telling me to go home ━

KNOWING THAT IT WAS SLIGHTLY rare for the two of them to expose such thoughts and feelings with one another and despite the lack of time in their budding friendship, moments like this were worth it. It was nice though, knowing that compared to an ordinary person, Rue was able to crack at a little bit of the guard he held up, even if it looked like his typical everyday behaviour.

"Hmm." They hummed quietly, letting the motion of stirring in the cauldron to continue while they turned to face Benny completely. "I'm no...therapist or doctor but Frankie's the drunk one right?..Never got along with your mom?" Feeling rather comfortable to have spoken about her dad in a random manner, Rue's lips couldn't help but twitch upwards at her friends compliment.

"Don't stroke my ego, it'll get worse and Mina will hate the both of us." They grinned, slightly but playfully jabbing at Benny's side. "But..really..it's normal to feel this way every now and then..You simply can't help it." Rue knew the feeling all too well. The uncomfortableness that came around whenever someone tried to comfort her or her siblings. It was especially evident after her father's death anyway.

| gehry benjamin ollivander|

[gehry benjamin ollivander]

i like these thoughts

when they come out to play

July 2, 2027
prudence oria weiss

Benny nodded. That was the gist of it, even if it wasn’t the entire story. ”Or Dad, or Ronnie…” He added, staring off into space as he continued the list. ”..or me.” He lamented, pausing momentarily. ”He seems to get on with Nell well enough.” But much as Benny easily befriended people, he couldn’t think of anyone who actively disliked Nell. But Benny seemed to socialize enough for the both of them. Picking lightly at the side of his fingernail, Benny shrugged it off. He didn’t want to talk about it anymore. It was enough he’d never say these things in front of anyone—though Mina and Rue were always the exceptions.

Nobody thought twice about someone who appeared so untroubled, and most days, Benny could convince himself he didn’t have anything nagging at him. ”Nothing whiskey can’t fix.” He looked to his side at Rue, lightly smiling. The heavier feelings—sadness, insecurity, rejection, and all the like were not what Benny focused on. And it was easy not to. Rue was right. However, it couldn’t be helped. Maybe shoving it all to the side so much made it hit harder? Or maybe it just meant Benny needed to see if Nova had any brownies to take his mind off things.

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[prudence oria weiss]

━ the mirror's telling me to go home ━

RUE KNEW FAMILY DRAMA ALL too well. Thankfully her parents had a fairytale wedding and marriage but following the death of her father, each of the Weiss children acted out in their own way. For Rue, it was with potions and ultimately drugs. It's where bonding with Mina came easily as she dealt with her problems with alcohol. "So he's the black sheep of the family..Interesting." At least the Weiss hoped that was the right term.

"Nell...That's your other older sister right? I think she fixed my wand once or twice..She's nice." Rue had only met the other Ollivander siblings when the occasion was necessary. Ollivander's tried to upcharge the Weiss once for the damage to their wand, so they took their business elsewhere. Luckily, it was to another Ollivander. "I just remember Veronica or..'Ronnie' being expensive."

Rue knew that there was more to Benny's smile, but considering they dealt with their own problems in unhealthy ways, who was she to comment and blame? Instead the potioneer let out a sigh and placed their wand down, coming to embrace Benny from the side. "I actually have some here, if you want any?" They grinned, knowing the last time Mina had come to visit she had left a classic bottle of Whiskey somewhere.

| gehry benjamin ollivander|

[gehry benjamin ollivander]

i like these thoughts

when they come out to play

July 2, 2027
prudence oria weiss

”I guess.” Benny tried to recall memories from his childhood before Frankie left. Nobody ever really spoke about him much, except for the comment here or there. Like he existed as part of the family but given as much thought as one might a neighbor one hardly knew. ”I mean—he’s a squib. So there’s that, but I was like nine when he left.” Benny admitted. One of his close childhood friends was also a squib and had a famous name—Fortescue. He didn’t see the big deal, but Benny also held a different perspective of the world than his parents and couldn’t fathom understanding anything else from his position.

Benny nodded. Nell was only four years older than him, whereas Ronnie was that plus a decade older. ”They both make and fix wands, but Ronnie sticks to what my father taught us.” Continuing the legacy and all that. Benny didn’t see an issue with either tactic, but he had to admit that Nell’s work was far more interesting at times. Which reminded him. Perking up a bit, Benny felt the beginning of a tangent. "Oh—the last time I helped Nell, she was working with a Thunderbird feather.” That bit of spark reentered his eye at the memory. ”Ronnie would never.” Already, the look of disapproval on his sister’s face appeared in his mind.

But little memories only perked him up for so long. At his friend’s embrace, Benny let his head fall gently on Rue’s. They were rather tall but not as tall as Benny. ”If you’re offering…” He replied, in that innocent but definitely not innocent tone.

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[prudence oria weiss]

━ the mirror's telling me to go home ━

IT CLICKED THEN AS BENNY stated his brother was a squib and why there were barely any relations between him and the rest of the family. Considering Rue was a part of an 'unknown' family from America and Germany, surely having a squib born into a prestigious family could not have rung the best kinds of alarms. "Only nine?.." Rue repeated, whistling out quietly in surprise.

"That's a big age gap for sure.." Plus when you were nine years old, you didn't think of family dilemmas or drama, you simply wanted to grow up and hang out with your friends. "Kind of like me with my siblings. But I'm the eldest." Benny knew this of course, he also knew that Rue nor Mina had the best of ties with their families. It was probably one of the many reasons why their dynamics as friends worked.

"Hm..I figured that. My dad used to.." Rue cleared their throat then, adjusting themselves a little as they recalled the memory. "He would talk about his adventures to Hogsmeade when he was young with my grandparents..And how Ollivanders was this grand wand store that we needed to go to if we ever travelled Europe.." Intrigued as Benny spoke, Rue's lips made a small 'o' at the mention of a thunderbird feather. "Maybe I need to make another visit to your sisters then..Where is she again?"

As Rue pulled Benny in for a hug, she couldn't help but smile as she felt his head against hers. It was unlikely for the two to bond in this way without Mina by their sides, but Rue cherished their friendships in the same way, no matter how long she knew one versus the other. Catching onto his tone, Rue couldn't help but smirk and get up quickly, going through their things and fumbling about with items before pulling out their 'secret stash'. "Only the finest, shittest, whiskey in all of the land."

| gehry benjamin ollivander|

[gehry benjamin ollivander]

i like these thoughts

when they come out to play

July 2, 2027
prudence oria weiss

Benny nodded in confirmation. The age gap wasn’t the problem, or at least Benny didn’t think it was. Other families had children with age gaps that seemed just fine, unlike the Ollivanders'. Or at least the siblings didn’t hate each other. ”I wish I knew what I’d done to make him hate me.” Benny muttered to himself. The question had floated around in his soul since Frankie had returned home. Not even Benny’s father had ever made him feel so small and insignificant, and their father was one of those who demanded respect.

And he wasn’t so naïve to think that everybody liked him, but Benny never felt that sort of emotion directed at him either. ”Horizont.” He answered. ”She works on such fascinating things.” Benny’s lit up as he described his sister’s store. ”I help her sweep up sometimes. I don’t tell Ronnie. It would probably upset her.” Benny shrugged. He also helped Ronnie at the family shop as well. Really, helping with the little things meant he could spend time with them. Or when Gideon was home as well while he helped his mother.

”Only the best for us!” He joked, approaching Rue to help them with the cups and such. For them, including Mina, as long as it was alcoholic, then it was good enough. With their limited funds, they had learned to make do, and it was a fun time as any. Benny always felt it was more about the company than anything. Meeting Mina during his first year was a blessing, and then meeting Rue when they transferred to Hogwarts made the greatest trio. With all the crap in their individual families, this is where Benny’s sanity came from.

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