Boat (Shiloh)

[parvati patil macmillan]

March 21, 2028

Although Hogwarts had changed in its physical and educational structure, Parvati's role as Head of Gryffindor House and the school counselor largely had not. There were more staff members than ever to handle the more minor issues that cropped up, but she was usually in some meeting of some sort. Whether it was for administrative matters as one of the members of the High Council or for meeting with students about personal matters, Parvati still kept busy, even without Elaine Dupree and the Purifiers in the picture.

One of the more recent tragedies within the Hogwarts community had been the death of the Flemings' father. She wasn't as familiar with the family because they were American, but she knew that the children's mother had gone missing years before, which left them essentially orphaned following the death of their father. Only the youngest of the siblings was still at Hogwarts, though, and fortunately she was studying at NEWT level by that point.

Still, Parvati doubted that Shiloh Fleming's being old enough to do magic outside of LIFE was much consolation where the death of her remaining parent was involved, and she had arranged to meet with the girl following her return to her studies. While Shiloh had the support of her older siblings, that didn't change that the situation was a delicate one. She had the notorious difficulty of NEWT-level classes to worry about on top of processing her grief, and the least that Parvati could do was offer her some support to ensure that she stayed on track academically without sacrificing her mental and physical well-being.

Parvati's office was no longer exactly the same as it had been before the fire, but she had tried to keep the spirit of it. In place of the velvet chaise longue that she had previously, she had decided on a plush velvet sofa that was arguably more comfortable than what it had replaced. She had more space than in her previous office, too, and she had filled some of it with the addition of a coffee table as well as her desk and chair. To keep from traumatizing anyone all over again, Parvati no longer burned incense but had switched to using a spray bottle of lavender essential oil. It was more calming—maybe slightly more somber—and hopefully someplace that people still didn't dread coming.

Knowing that it must have been a tough week for Shiloh already, and unfortunately recalling that feeling all too well because of Shreya's death, Parvati had checked the girl's class schedule in advance to try to ensure that she wouldn't feel rushed in their session. It wasn't a guarantee, especially when the LIFE students had more freedom to do what they wanted, but she wanted to be conscientious.

shiloh elspeth fleming

[shiloh elspeth fleming]

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Despite only a few days passing since she'd arrived back at Hogwarts, it felt like it had been weeks already. The days were long and dragged on, her brain still feeling like it was caught in a noisy buzz. School was supposed to be a distraction, at least that was what Shiloh had convinced herself of. It worked during class periods or when she was tutoring, but not in the quiet morning hours or the middle of the night as she stared blankly at the canopy of her four-poster bed. There were intermittent moments where she was glad that she had decided to continue to board at Hogwarts for her last two years. Had she not, there was a very real possibility that she would have been the one to find her dad, not Eli. A tiny voice in the back of her said that it would have been better that way, to spare her brother the mental trauma he was clearly going through. They were all suffering in different ways, but she could see the haunted look behind his eyes.

Because of that, the school had reached out for therapy with Madame Macmillan. Shiloh had gotten some help while back at Ilvermorny for the rebuild year, mostly regarding the fire and what had happened, but this was supposed to be different than that. She refused to not get help; after watching enough no-maj tv shows, she didn't feel bad about getting the assistance she needed. Apparently self-awareness of that was good. But the results remained to be seen until after a few sessions.

Today was a Tuesday, a free day for her, and the buzzing had been a lot louder the night prior than it had been in a while. Telling herself to hang on just a little longer had gotten her through a few hours of restless sleep, though looking at herself in the mirror the next morning it was hard to tell that she'd actually gotten any at all. Permanent purple marks had formed on her fair skin, and she was amazed that her eyes weren't perpetually puffy and red still.

Approaching the office and double checking the name placard was correct, Shiloh knocked a few times before trying the doorknob, cracking open the door slightly so she could poke her head inside, "Hi, Madame Macmillan? It's Shiloh Fleming. Sorry if I'm a bit early..." If five minutes counted as early.

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[parvati patil macmillan]

March 21, 2028

A few knocks at Parvati's office door were followed by the sound of the doorknob moving, which was itself followed by the sound of her office door opening slightly. Standing so that she was visible but not fully through the cracked door, Shiloh Fleming greeted her and apologized for having arrived early.

Parvati didn't mind that Shiloh had arrived a few minutes earlier for her session than the time for which it was scheduled. With students, scheduling was always a bit of a gamble. Some of them arrived far earlier than expected, while others showed up late or not at all. As long as they were patient and respectful about having to wait if she was in the middle of something when they got to her office, Parvati wasn't bothered if students decided to show up early. If fact, it was preferable to having to make sure that they hadn't forgotten that they were supposed to meet with her or that something hadn't happened in the meantime.

"That's alright. Come in, Shiloh," Parvati encouraged her, already seeing that the young woman looked the opposite of well-rested. "Would you like some water or tea?"

shiloh elspeth fleming

[shiloh elspeth fleming]

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Entering, she was surprised that it wasn’t much different from the counselor’s office at Ilvermorny. Personal touches aside, it definitely had the air of being a welcoming, relaxed place. Somewhere where it was okay to talk about not feeling okay. Shiloh recalled having seen the madame around Hogwarts a few years prior, having never really seen the need until she was back home to seek any sort of assistance. But here she was, hoping it would at least allow her to come to terms with everything and maybe get a few extra hours of sleep each night. She really didn’t need much. Being able to keep her eyes open through lunch was all she was asking for.

”Tea would be great, thank you,” she answered politely, though knew it wasn’t nearly as enthusiastic as it could have been. There were times over the past month where she momentarily forgot, though never when she really needed to the most. Like during those long, silent hours in the middle of the night, or while trying to write a paper for Potions class. The concentration she needed simply wasn’t there anymore.

Taking a seat in what she assumed to be her chair, she waited comfortably for the tea and the session to begin. She had sent an owl back to Ilvermorny to have her meetings there, about the fire, sent over. While she really didn’t care about that nearly as much anymore, she figured Madame Macmillan would be appreciative of knowing everything that had been going on. There was a whole lot of loss in such a short period of time, and it felt like she was getting beat back down right when she started to feel a little better about everything.

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[parvati patil macmillan]

March 21, 2028

With so many students who had attended other wizarding schools before coming to (or returning to) Hogwarts, picking up where they had left off at other institutions wasn't always straightforward. In Shiloh's case, however, Ilvermorny had been kind enough to send over the records from her counseling sessions there. While that was helpful in establishing where Shiloh was mentally following the jarring circumstances under which she had gone back to Ilvermorny from Hogwarts, there was obviously far more to address with her father's passing.

The first thing, though, was to get Shiloh the tea that she had requested in response to her question about the same. "Of course," Parvati confirmed. She first summoned a mug into which she poured water from the tip of her wand and then heated, setting it on the table for Shiloh. She then got out a selection of tea bags in a wooden tea caddy that she set beside the mug of water, giving Shiloh multiple options from which to choose, along with packets of sugar. "I can have milk or cream brought from the kitchens if you'd like," she added. Shiloh could prepare her tea how she wanted it, and they could ease into their conversation at the pace with which she was most comfortable.

shiloh elspeth fleming

[shiloh elspeth fleming]

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Shiloh wasn’t sure how the tea was going to be prepared, but it definitely was the way that Madame Macmillan did it. There had been a number of different ways she had seen tea pots magically heated, levitated, and controlled over the years, yet this was a new one. Eyes widening as she watched the water pour into her cup and then begin to steam, she was amazed by all of it. This was so much easier than what she imagined it to be! Had the point of today not been to talk about her life as of late, she felt like she would have immediately jumped into questions about the simplicity of the spells used. It completely differed from her normal outlook on magic, as enchanted mundane objects was sort of her hobby. Skipping over that entirely was mind blowing.

The wide array of tea presented before her was equally as baffling, and she stared hard at it for what felt like forever. She had no idea what most of these were, though the faint aroma of various different leaves wafted up from it. ”I prefer it without, but thank you,” she gave the woman a weak smile before plucking what looked to be a black tea. She liked hers strong, usually keeping it in for the entirety of her drinking it. A Hogwarts student had called her a heathen during her first week there a few years back. Apparently stronger wasn’t always better despite it bringing what she thought was a lot more flavor.

Dunking her tea bag into the steaming mug, she peered into it as the water slowly darkened. In a few minutes, after it cooled off a tad, she’d give it a taste test. ”Errm…” Shiloh shifted uncomfortably in her chair as she tried to figure out where they were going to start today. Was two weeks even the proper amount of time to grieve before getting right back into therapy sessions?

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[parvati patil macmillan]

March 21, 2028

After Shiloh had gotten situated with her tea, politely turning down the offer of milk or cream to add to it, she didn't seem sure of what to say. Frankly, having conversations about grief wasn't easy for Parvati, either. She had gotten used to having them, but she didn't like them any more than anyone else did. The problem was that sweeping those sorts of difficult feelings up under the carpet wasn't helpful. Countless times, she had had to remind people that grieving looked different for everyone.

"You can talk as much or as little as you'd like," Parvati gently reminded Shiloh. "My job is to make sure you're supported here at Hogwarts."

One of the good things about the way in which Hogwarts had been restructured was that the Heads of Houses and Head of Security all worked together to lead the school as a team. As Head of House for Gryffindor in addition to being the counselor, Parvati could raise concerns to her colleagues more swiftly. She had no doubt that returning to Hogwarts following the death of her father was overwhelming for Shiloh, but the young woman wasn't there because she was in trouble.

Parvati paused briefly and then continued. "I'm sorry I wasn't able to meet with you sooner," she noted. If she had been able to meet with Shiloh as soon as she had returned to Hogwarts, then that would have been preferable. At the NEWT level, there was only so much leniency that could be shown to the students, simply because of the importance of the qualification. "How have things been since you got back?"

shiloh elspeth fleming

[shiloh elspeth fleming]

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”It’s been a month,” Shiloh weakly laughed. She wasn’t sure what there was to talk about at this point if there was anything. A lot of the last two weeks had been spent thinking about the same things over and over. Good memories, bad memories, the fact that she was never going to see her dad again. Her siblings had been there for her, obviously, and that helped buffer a lot of it. Almost too much if she was being completely honest. Shiloh knew it was out of good intentions and trying to soften the entire experience for her, but she didn’t need that. What was so wrong with trying to toughen through it? The real problem was that she also knew what would happen if she tried to do that for too long. Like with the fire, it would start to eat away at her eventually. It’d start with her sleep, giving her relentless nightmares and being forced to relive it all over again. That was why she’d ended up getting help while at Ilvermorny. And why she was here today too.

Starting off with how everything had been since she’d gotten back, which had been only a few days, felt better to her as well. As a way to ease into things. ”Good so far,” she responded. ”Before everything, I had signed up to help tutor potions, so I started that yesterday.” Which already felt like a week ago. Time didn’t really seem to flow the same while grieving, even weeks later. ”And it went well, so I’m sure I’ll be adding more of that to my schedule. While I was home, having distractions really helped. So I think as long as I can keep up with my classes and work, and now this, it will help a lot…” Until it was the dead of night and she had nothing left to distract her any longer. The same thing had happened with the fire.

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[parvati patil macmillan]

March 21, 2028

Apparently unsure of what to say, Shiloh mentioned that it had been a month. Though she didn't elaborate, Parvati nodded. She knew what it felt like to know precisely how long it had been—what it felt like to count the minutes, the hours, the days and hope that it might be one minute, one hour, one day closer to bringing someone back to life. It hurt to lose track of that time; it was hard not to see it as a failure. Eventually, though, it happened. Time still passed regardless of how it was marked.

Upon being asked how things had been for her since she had come back to Hogwarts, the LIFE student's response was more positive. It had been good so far, she said. She had started tutoring someone else in Potions, and that had gone well for her. In fact, it had gone well enough for her that Shiloh was planning to continue to provide tutoring. That she had something to look forward to was helpful. "I'm happy to hear that," Parvati responded.

"While I was home, having distractions really helped. So I think as long as I can keep up with my classes and work, and now this, it will help a lot…" Shiloh went on to explain.

Parvati recognized that Shiloh wanted to keep busy. Having a distraction from grief wasn't a problem itself; it was when that became maladaptive that it was an issue. Regrettably, Parvati knew that from personal experience, too.

"And your professors have been understanding? No trouble there, I hope?" she checked. If any of her colleagues were being unreasonable in their expectations, then she was happy to step in and address that.

shiloh elspeth fleming

[shiloh elspeth fleming]

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Everything was an assumption on her part. Shiloh knew that she could tell herself as often as she wanted that this was the way things were going to be from now on and that there was no way to go back and fix it, and that the thoughts would eventually creep up when she least expected it. For now, it seemed to be at night, when the day was done, and she was exhausted. There was no way for her to fend them off at that point. Sometimes it felt good to cry it out. Getting all of the feelings and emotions out was healthy, wasn’t it? Being here, getting therapy, was part of all of that too. That didn’t mean she wasn’t allowed to struggle. And yet, she had committed to packing her schedule so tightly that she didn’t even have the time to think about it as often as she probably should have. It was never going to get easy, technically being an orphan now. Her siblings were still there for her every step of the way, and they were all in the same boat as her. She just didn’t have them available to her whenever she really needed them. Which sucked.

Madame Macmillan asked if the professors understood the situation, and she nodded her head. Thankfully she was a dutiful student, and they had been more than accommodating with everything that had happened. ”Some wanted to give me more time for papers and to catch up on readings, but I told them I was fine with what I’d been given so far,” Shiloh explained. That went back to the keeping herself distracted bit. If she suddenly had even more extra time to get assignments done, then she would spend all of the free space thinking. She didn’t want to think right now. ”There really wasn’t much to begin with. I was able to get most of my reading done while I was home for the…” she trailed off, looking down at the cup of tea clasped in her hands. For the funeral. She didn’t mean for it stop there, but she did. ”But yeah, I don’t think it will take too long to get caught up.”

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[parvati patil macmillan]

March 21, 2028

Shiloh nodded when asked if her professors had been understanding. "Some wanted to give me more time for papers and to catch up on readings," she replied, "but I told them I was fine with what I’d been given so far." Since Shiloh was in her first year of NEWT studies rather than her second, she didn't have to rush her way through everything before her exams. If she needed that extra time, it wouldn't be as hard to provide her with it. "There really wasn't much to begin with," Shiloh continued. "I was able to get most of my reading done while I was home for the…" She didn't finish her sentence before moving on to the next one. "But yeah, I don’t think it will take too long to get caught up."

From even her own time at Hogwarts decades prior, Parvati knew that the assignments being given at NEWT level were hardly easy. She was concerned that Shiloh was trying to take on too much too soon without giving herself time to process her loss, though she wasn't the first student Parvati had met with who had taken that approach.

"The extensions will still be available to you," Parvati let Shiloh know kindly, "if you need to make any adjustments." It wouldn't hurt anything, and she wasn't trying to use her father's death for her own benefit. It also kept the onus from being on Shiloh to reach out to her professors.

More quietly, Parvati looked at Shiloh and spoke. "I know it isn't easy to talk about death, especially when it's sudden," she acknowledged, her voice empathetic. "What has been most difficult for you?"

shiloh elspeth fleming